Chapter 19
Everyone has their worth to the world. Iruka's sensei liked to believe that. Iruka wasn't so keen on that. For he knew that even if he wasn't here, nothing much would have changed. If he couldn't change the predetermined fate, what was his worth to this world?
He was as worthless as the cup of ramen in his hands. Just an inconvenience to others. The only reason he was here was because there wasn't a trash can he could be thrown into around.
And what was the worth of this idiot he was stalking? Iruka had known this man for a long time. He knew what kind of person he was and knew what kind of person he would be. Maybe he was a better shinobi than Iruka.
After all, only Mizuki could live so well by lying to everyone. Even this girl he was with, laughing and chatting, couldn't imagine what he was capable of. Iruka wished Mizuki were a changed man, that he was different from what Iruka thought he was. That knowing the future had blinded him to what was in front of him.
But he wasn't. Iruka was a shinobi through and through. He made sure of everything before he made a decision. He looked through the underneath of the underneath. For this was his way. The only way he knew.
Mizuki didn't care about this girl. He was only using that naïve and kind girl. For what reason, Iruka still couldn't determine. Probably to use her as a scapegoat for whatever he was planning. Or for whatever the one Mizuki worked under was planning.
There were three possibilities. The first one was that the principal sought out Mizuki to use him against Iruka, as their history was pretty well known for those who were interested. But it would be too easy to deal with if that were the case.
The second, and most likely, was that Danzo was using him not only to observe Iruka's actions in the academy but also to assess potential students he could recruit for his organization. But that was too simple. Danzo wasn't a simple person; there were schemes under the schemes with him.
The third possibility was that Orochimaru had already met and started to use him. Probably doing so through Danzo. But why? Had Orochimaru already set his eyes on Sasuke? It was too soon.
Either way, Iruka knew one thing. Mizuki was his enemy. And no matter what he wanted, it was something Iruka couldn't let him have. If it was him Mizuki wanted, he dared him to try to take action. But if it were a student he was after, Iruka wouldn't allow him to make his move.
Iruka could kill him right now. He was looking at him through the window, defenseless and so easy to target. He could throw a kunai; it would go through the window, straight to his eye. And the deed would be done.
And just as the thought crossed his mind, the night sky decided to intervene, and rain fell. The cold running down his body made it impossible for Iruka to make such a rash action. After all, he was a shinobi through and through.
Letting the rain wash away all his heated emotions, Iruka continued to look at Mizuki, trying to determine what he wanted. Was he happy with his actions? Was this really a path he was happy to walk?
What Mizuki wanted above all else was power. A power that he could not achieve on his own. That was all he cared about, above all else. So, if Iruka wanted to use him, he would promise him power. So, the principal probably had nothing to do with him and was used like anyone else.
Well, time would tell all the answers. For now, Iruka would keep watch. He would wait until Mizuki or anyone else slipped up and revealed even a bit of their intentions before striking a killing blow.
…
"When does a shinobi die?"
It was a question that his sensei asked many times. Iruka never could understand it, not even after his death. Maybe that was the difference between him and other talented people. Maybe that's why he couldn't reach higher places.
"When he is killed, duh." To Kiba, it was a simple answer.
"Idiot, it isn't that simple," Ino got angry at Kiba's answer.
"What is so complicated about it? You die when you die."
Was it really that simple? Probably. Iruka didn't know. He didn't know many things. But he thought about many things. All the time. He didn't want those kids to live like him, but he wanted them to ask those questions themselves and look for answers on their own.
"Um, sensei," Naruto held out his hand. "What is a shinobi?"
"Idiot, don't you at least know that?" Kiba was quite loud today.
"Sakura, can you answer Naruto's question?"
"Oh, a shinobi is a person skilled in stealth, espionage, and combat who uses chakra to perform various jutsu for their village."
A textbook answer. Not entirely wrong, but it was more like a perception of civilians than the reality. Truth was never that simple. Definitions were never so precise. The reality disordered those simple answers into something that couldn't be explained.
"What if a person can't perform jutsu? Can he still be a shinobi? What if he isn't skilled in stealth but a master of combat? What if it is vice versa?" Iruka asked back, making Sakura hesitate. "What if one uses their jutsu not for their village but against it?"
Even these kids must know that not every shinobi is loyal. Some knew it better than others. And it made Naruto's simple question that much more complicated. But realizing that it wasn't that simple was already half the battle.
"Many shinobi follow their own way, not the one the village gives, but the one they give themselves, even if it goes against the village," Iruka continued. "In the end, nobody can control your actions. It is up to you to define what a shinobi is and what it should be. No one will and should hold your hand on your path."
And just like that, the class ended. Those kids needed to learn so much more before they could enter the world. So many things for them to figure out before they could find the answers they were looking for.
And as for Iruka, he couldn't answer any of these questions either. Not for them, not even for himself. No matter how many times he asked, he still got no answer. Maybe because he was an idiot, or simply not suited to be a shinobi to begin with.
Why was he here? What was he doing? He simply didn't know.
A shinobi through and through, what a joke. He simply wasn't good at anything else. He simply didn't have another path he could walk. Not after all that was lost already. Not before he made sure that what he had left was going to be saved.
"You aren't going to have lunch?" Suzume walked past Iruka and looked at him with interest.
"I don't feel like it," Iruka replied as he tied up his desk. "I will just have some rest until the combat lessons start."
"It is a stupid question, but is everything alright?"
"No, everything is fucked up."
"It isn't just about the academy, is it?"
"Could you keep a watch on everything for a while?" Iruka asked. "I don't think I will have time or energy to do it for a while."
"Have lunch with us from time to time. It was you who came into our lives. Don't make us regret accepting you. Daikoku is a sensitive guy; he will notice your absence."
"Things will change," Iruka could only reply in his cryptic manner. "They have to."
Nothing else mattered. For all his worthlessness, he had work to do. Somehow, somewhere along the way, he found himself among new friends. Now, he was left with no other choice but to protect this academy.
Would it be the principal's flawed and ignorant reforms, Mizuki's want for power, or Danzo's schemes? It didn't matter; they were all just obstacles. And he would get rid of them all.
…
A shinobi dies only when his dream is forgotten. Iruka never understood it. It was not their name, nor their contribution, but their dream that mattered. When their dream is forgotten, then they die. But his sensei never told him his dream. So Iruka was lost.
"You come here more often nowadays." The Third Hokage joined Iruka as he put some flowers over his sensei's grave. "I don't know if that's a good thing or not."
"Is it bad being lost when you don't know where you're going?"
"Then are you lost, or just taking your time?" The Third asked.
"Acting old won't work on me," Iruka smiled back. "Danzo came to look for me."
"I know."
"I am going to kill him."
"I gathered as much."
"Won't you try to stop me?" Iruka asked.
"I will," The Third replied. "I can't allow you to kill one of the elders of the Konoha council just because of your suspicion and unresolved conflict."
"And if it isn't just suspicion?"
"Phew," The Third let out a pillar of smoke as he turned to Iruka. "Any reason will do."
Iruka looked at the old man standing by his son's grave. Aside from one exception, the Third was probably the strongest shinobi in the village right now. Yet, his eyes were no different from Iruka's.
"We are lost sometimes. Tangled up in our heads and emotions. I have already made too many mistakes leading up to today. You know, he was proudest of you. I can see why."
"You won't share what you see?" Iruka could guess the answer.
"Don't look at me like that. It is something you need to see yourself to believe," The Third replied. "Danzo thinks he can play me as much as he wants. I let my emotions stop me from doing what was right once, and now we are here. For all my faults, I hope making the same mistake twice isn't one of them. Give me a reason and I will give you an order."
"Understood, sir."
"Be careful, he has many cards up his sleeve."
Even the Third didn't know half of it. Iruka nodded to him before leaving. It would come to an end soon enough. Danzo wouldn't be able to wait long before he made his biggest mistake. And the moment he coveted those eyes for himself, it would be his final mistake.
Left alone once again, Iruka thought of the past. Of the days when he was just an idiot kid with too-big dreams stuck in his head. When he had everything he could ever wish for. And the day when he lost it all.
Vengeance was for the strong. So, he would not kill them out of vengeance. Iruka would kill Danzo and Orochimaru because they were a danger to his students. He would only do what he had to do.
…
Kakashi was a man who had lost everything. And he surely wasn't looking for any amends. Drifting from one day to another, he just endured it all. For what reason, he had no idea. He just did.
"Should I wait until you have rested?"
Ghost. Iruka Umino. Kakashi had worked on a few missions with him. Even now, Kakashi couldn't detect him. He was like a shadow that followed anyone he needed without anyone ever noticing.
Standing by the tree, looking straight at Kakashi. And yet, Kakashi felt that if he just turned his eye away from him, he would simply disappear. That's what kind of shinobi Iruka Umino was. A ghost.
"I thought you didn't like me," Kakashi replied.
"I don't like your talent," Iruka replied. "But I have nothing against you personally. So, will you hear me out, or do you want to rest after your last mission?"
"How do you know I just returned?"
"I've been looking for you; you weren't here."
That would make sense. People who knew him knew he would come here more often than not. Kakashi just didn't expect him to know that. Iruka was strange. He reminded Kakashi of himself sometimes. But there was always something more to him, like he knew something that others didn't, and that burdened him immensely.
"Do you need any help with something?"
"I want you to take a look at Sasuke Uchiha."
"That's a strange request."
"He needs someone."
"And the first person you came to look for was me?" Kakashi asked. "I can assure you that I am not the person you are looking for."
Iruka groaned as he clutched his head. It was quite endearing to watch him think. He always had something to say but never seemed to know how to say it. Like, if he said too much, he might be in danger. Or maybe others would.
"He is looking for power," Iruka replied after a moment of silence. "I want you to show him strength instead."
"That makes no sense."
"Just check on him and teach him a few things, that's all I ask of you."
"Why me?"
"Because you know loss."
"So do you."
"Yeah, but I have no strength to show him," Iruka replied. "Please do it as a favor, I promise to repay you someday."
Iruka Umino was a strange man to Kakashi. He said he was weak, yet he never showed it to him. For all he knew, Iruka was the most dangerous person in the village. And for him to ask for something meant he was planning something, and he didn't want to leave things unresolved before he disappeared, just like a ghost.
A.N. As always, thanks for reading and supporting me, so I can continue writing without any concerns, and if you want more, up to 7 more chapters and 28 chapters in total with all my other stories, you can support me on pa treon. com \ ironwolf852.