It probably wasn't every day that the henchmen of Hiruko were faced with visitors, given the remote location of Mount Shumisen, let alone a bunch of them at once.
Especially when one of said visitors suddenly gets thrown face first at their feet.
'Fuck you Suien, I'm definitely gonna recommend you as a test subject to Hiruko now! I mean, I was already planning on betraying you, but now I'm definitely gonna betray you!'
I spat some dirt from my mouth as I rose from my crater as the Ichi and San brothers shared a confused look.
'Hey, don't act like I'm the weirdo here, just take a look at yourselves!'
Standing between them, Ni (perhaps another sibling? Perhaps a prostitute they picked up somewhere?) gives me an appraising look, before haughtily dismissing me with a chuckle.
"Oh please, what could someone like you possibly have to offer to our great Hiruko-sama?"
"More to the point, how are you aware of Hiruko-sama's name and hide-out?" Ichi chimed in.
"Well, I'm an agent of Orochimaru… and I'm an agent of Orochimaru."
Their reaction is rather similar to Suien's, a clear jerk going down their back (which in the case of Ni, does… interesting things to her front) just at the mention of the infamous name. Clearly, the Snake Sannin has built quite the reputation for himself.
… which probably means he won't be happy should he learn I've been using it to open doors for myself.
Oh well, it was partially his fault I woke up behind locked doors in the first place, this is just him paying off his debt to me, even if he doesn't know it.
"It has been… some time, since Hiruko-sama has heard any word from Orochimaru of the Sannin. Apparently his little state-building project over in the Land of Rice Fields has cut into his research time. A shame, Hiruko-sama was eager to learn how Orochimaru-sama managed to mimic the Chimera Technique for his own Casualty Puppet Technique." Ichi spoke up, likely the henchman with the closest connection to my former boss, considering his own snake motif.
'I wouldn't exactly call establishing an entire Hidden Village based on human sacrifice and mad experimentation with the sole goal of razing your former home to the ground a 'little project', but I guess that's just the chūnin in me talking.'
Again, I made grateful use of my own rare kekkai genkai, Common Sense no Jutsu, and decided not to voice my thoughts aloud. Instead, I merely politely bowed at the three weirdly clad henchmen. Fashion-sense (or lack thereof) aside, I did remember how these three were supposed to have significantly high chakra reserves, with some, quite frankly, ridiculous transformations and techniques hidden up their sleeves.
… where applicable, of course.
Sure, they got taken out by the combined efforts of the Rookie Twelve, so one might think that they could hardly be considered true jōnin-level material if they couldn't even handle a couple of snotty chūnin brats. But these were named chūnin brats, with access to the Plot Relevance no Jutsu, and no mere filler henchman could ever hope to survive against such an unbeatable technique.
At least not in the third act. You're fine in the first two acts as you take 'em by surprise… right up until Naruto bows his head and clenches his fist, then you know you're cooked.
You see a flashback swing? Run.
Since I didn't have access to said fabled technique, I had no other option than to swallow my pride as I appealed to their ego. Which was actually a pretty easy thing to do, considering it was practically non-existent where my survival was involved, so my pride went down easy.
Zero calories too.
"Indeed, guardians of Shumisen! I bring news of Orochimaru to your revered master, Hiruko-sama of the Chimera Technique!"
"What news necessitates sending some weak errand boy halfway across the continent to deliver it in person?" Ni scoffs, though San leers at me with creepy, unblinking eyes.
'Dude… snakes are supposed to be your brother's animal motif. You bulge your eyes out any further and I sorta expect you to extend a slimy tongue to lick them like a gecko. Ugh, I did not want that image in my head, this is worse than genjutsu!'
"Perhaps… the person is the news? Has Orochimaru sent you as a… subject for Hiruko-sama's own experiments? A peace offering, of sorts?"
"Uhm… almost, revered guardian. It's not so much my person as what has been inscribed on my person that might be of interest to Hiruko-sama." I quickly backpedal, lifting up my sleeve to show the dark tattoo on my underarm.
Ichi scratches his weirdly long face, glancing from the tattoo to me and then to his fellow henchmen.
"If that's the case, why not just take the arm and send it by ninja mail?"
"We could just cut off the arm now and take it up the mountain with us?"
"Ha! See, Mizuki, offering to cut off your arm when we first met totally was a perfectly normal response!"
"Nothing about what you just said is even remotely normal!"
Turning my back on my comrades(?) still hidden in the tree line, I cough before glancing at the surprised looking leather-clad cronies of Hiruko, my face once again a mask of professionalism.
"Ah, you see, I have reason to believe that it is integral to the seal work that I remain alive for it to function properly." I rush to explain, barely keeping a nervous twang from my voice.
'Damn these stupid strong jōnin and their stupid jōnin "logic"!'
"Yes, I imagine you would have reason to believe that." Ni smirks, but at least the bloodlust coming off the henchmen diminishes somewhat, allowing me to breathe properly again.
"We know seals can have… disastrous effects when tampered with, especially the works of one as skilled as a Sannin. We'll let you keep your arm and your life for now, subject of Orochimaru-sama, as a grace from our master to yours. We grant you passage through the gates of Mount Shumisen." Ichi intoned gravely, his twin seamlessly continuing.
"Pass through the gates, we shall announce you to Hiruko-sama. Whether or not he's willing to listen to you, or decides to smite you where you stand, that is his decision and his right."
"Right. Of course." I reply, trying not to be weirded out by the strange, lanky twins (and only partially succeeding).
Turning around towards the ancient trees at my back, I give a signal and immediately Tsubaki appears at my side, glaring kunai towards the smug looking Ni. The Brothers follow more slowly and clumsily, clearly not entirely sure about what's going on and equally unsure whether or not they even cared.
Then there's a gathering of chakra close to my right, which suddenly wells up in a spray of bright, icy cold water, Suien suddenly appearing at my side, having used some Water version of the Body Flicker Technique.
Which incidentally has soaked me to the bone, as if he were Truck-kun happily barreling down a flooded road and me an innocent pedestrian caught in the crossfire.
'Gonna betray you, so, so hard…'
Thankfully, my anger keeps me warm and dry, on the inside at least.
With the guardians of the gates now on our side (or at least not an immediate threat anymore) we pass through the first gate of Mount Shumisen…
"What the-?"
Only to discover that the rest of the surrounding landscape is as weird and nonsensical as the immense mountain itself. Glancing over my shoulder, I just catch a glimpse of the dense, ancient-feeling woodlands at our backs, before the black doors of the first gate slam shut behind us.
In front of us however, is a massive cliff face, marred by jutting rocks and deep gorges, the landscape almost going entirely vertical with little warning. It spreads out to the sides and outwards, like a massive curtain of rough-hewn stone and the path directly in front of us (little more than a goat's trail through the mountains), goes pretty much straight up. The cliff face is tall enough it should've easily been visible even behind the thick canopy of the ancient forest we had just passed through, and yet, nothing.
"This place is beginning to creep me out man." Suien grumbled as our group took in our sudden new surroundings.
"Why, thank you." Ni says with a beaming smile (which gets her a glower from Tsubaki, causing the grin to just grow wider).
We had to alight the path by ninja hopping from jutting boulder to boulder, making our way up at a decent pace. Despite our ninja agility (which the Brothers substituted by taking turns yeeting each other up the mountain side in a move that by their standards was practically sheer genius), it took a surprising amount of time before we suddenly came across a flat, tiled expanse. A courtyard stretching itself out before yet another gate, this one consisting of only two doors wedged between the walls of a narrowing mountain passage, though the doors themselves were immensely tall and richly decorated, as were the walls to either side.
The whole gate felt massive and imposing, built from solid panels of dark green metal with a weathered sheen. At its center was a large circular emblem resembling a chrysanthemum, its many layered petals arranged in precise symmetry, each one raised in relief and tinted with a dull gold that had faded with age. The frame around the gate was elaborately carved: pale swirling cloud patterns crowned the top, while stylized blue waves ran vertically down the sides. On the rocky flanks to the gate were sections of deep reddish-brown stone decorations, carved to resemble thick bamboo stalks that framed protruding animal heads.
Above the great chrysanthemum crest, the gate's upper section rose into a dense, ornate relief in the form of a carved dragon, its sinuous body coiled protectively atop the structure. Its head was lowered, jaw closed, and narrow eyes fixed forward in a watchful pose, on the lookout for intruders. Beneath the dragon, the lintel was adorned with yet more swirling cloud motifs in pale stone, framing a large, spread-winged bird, a peacock of some kind. Its plumage was intricately detailed, the crest of its head painted a rich teal that faded into lighter tones. The wings curved outward protectively, meeting the clouds at either side, as if swooping down onto the doors of the gate itself.
The entire structure gave the impression that it was downright ancient, built as much to artfully display power as to serve as a barrier by some forgotten forerunner civilization.
Which was kinda crazy to think about, considering it wasn't that long ago that Hiruko made this mountain his base. I think. I would assume, considering I doubted he came up with his ascension ritual that necessitated this particular mountaintop straight out of the gate when he was chased out of Konoha some twenty years ago or so.
Then again, this is the Naruto world. Chronology (and villain motivations) don't really feel like they need to make a whole lot of sense most of the time.
The narrow ravine makes for a perfect choke point and thus also makes most of my group uncomfortable (with the exception of the Legendary Stupid Brothers, of course, as Raijin simply tries to pet a carved stone horse head) as the large gate opens up to a winding mountain path that hugs the side of the ever rising Mount Shumisen. We're surrounded not so much by foothills, but an ever increasing expanse of towering stone spires, thin and spindly like a bed of needles surrounding a central pillar.
Moving up the mountain path is steady going, as we don't have to scale a sheer cliff face like before, though we all do a double-take when the sides of the path are swiftly overrun with giant twisting cacti. Even the brothers take note now, though mostly because one of them tried to take a bite out of one and spent the next twenty minutes muttering and whining as he and his brother carefully extracted the massive needles from his mouth and lips.
The gate that Ichi was supposed to guard was yet again of a completely different style to the previous two, resembling more a pagoda. Three tiers of curved, tiled roofs stacked neatly above one another, each rimmed with polished gold trim that caught the daylight in sharp glints. Decorative golden carvings curled at the roof corners, their shapes resembling stylized dragons, while at the very top, it was capped by a golden crest in the shape of a flame. The main entrance was framed by a tall, pale arch of stone carved into pointed, fire-like patterns with the same golden flame at its centre. The double doors were solid black, their surface broken only by centrally placed golden circular emblem, an embossed whirling flame-like pattern with the figure of a downwards facing bird resembling the peacock from the previous gate at its centre.
More and more I doubted that Hiruko had built this entire ornate set-up himself, especially given how little henchmen he employed, suspicions which were confirmed when Ichi led us through the sparsely decorate gatehouse to the truly alien-like landscape beyond.
Even though we had been steadily moving upwards for the better part of the morning and well into midday, the road ahead still sloped upwards as we passed through an ever thinning cloud layer, which settled in like a big blanket of fog draped over the shoulders of the immense mountain. Even so, we could see the very top of Mount Shumisen as it finally stopped rising ever upwards above us, a darkened shadow in the far distance, the mountaintop oddly broad and expansive. It was as if a hill had been put on top of a mountain for good measure.
The land itself was strange though, as if torn apart in curved, almost molten shelves. Their undersides were filled with stalactites, though it looked more like slag that had dripped down and solidified, as if the entire mountain had been turned upside down like a candlestick and dipped into a pool of lava for just a moment.
Hell, with all the jutsu in this world, that might even be true.
Signs that, whatever had shaped this drastically altered landscape hadn't been natural could be spotted in the distance off to the side of the path that we were on, which led straight to the final gate at the base of the utmost tip of the mountain.
"Are those… villages?" Tsubaki wondered aloud, pointing towards a distant set of structures, almost looking like flats and apartment buildings.
If they had been taken straight from a Godzilla set-piece, that is.
"Hmm, they were. Once. A peaceful people by all accounts, focusing on meditation and enlightenment, choosing to live far above the foils and follies of the mortal world. It's why they chose this mountain, for its potent role in certain rituals, more ancient than any jutsu formula since the age of the Sage of the Six Paths." Ichi, the calmer of the twins, explained, following Tsubaki's look.
"What happened to them?" she hesitantly asked, though I think we all suspected the answer, which came from Ichi's brother, San.
"Well, Hiruko-sama had quite the same idea for Mount Shumisen's potential. The community here disagreed. Briefly." He explained, smile stretching oddly wide over his pallid, long face.
"That's… that's horrible." Tsubaki couldn't help but react, which caused an eye roll from Suien and grumblings from the leather-clad henchmen (the Brothers were still occupied with picking needles from Fujin's tongue).
"Yes! Yes it is, just horrible that these people so selfishly denied Hiruko-sama a proper workspace. Who did they think they were, that they laid claim to an entire mountaintop, when they could've easily stepped aside so that Hiruko-sama could advance his great work!" I quickly intervene, stepping between a somewhat frightened looking Tsubaki and a (literally) hissing San.
The lanky man still didn't look pleased, but Ichi pulled him back as he kept walking.
"Come. Hiruko-sama awaits. You may yet lay eyes on his great work yourselves."
Ni and San followed their leader with some grumbling and narrowed-eyed looks over their shoulders, while Suien just shrugged and fell in with ease, followed by the Brothers, though Tsubaki clung close to me, grabbing me by the elbow.
"Mizuki…"
"I understand, Tsubaki. But we need that man if I'm to unlock the secrets of the formula on my arm without it killing me. Even if we didn't care about the potential of the formula, and given our missing-nin status, I don't think we can afford to, this Hiruko might be able to remove the tattoo completely, making him one of the very few people who actually can. Considering one of said people is Orochimaru himself, and you can see how that limits our options. I really don't want to walk around with a jutsu formula from the Snake Sannin himself tattooed on my body, do you? And since we can't exactly ask the man himself to undo his work for us…"
"… I see. Just… be safe."
"I'll try."
I pat the distraught woman on the arm as we fall in with the group, walking towards the final gate towards Hiruko's hide-out, scaling the oddly sloping earth ridges and dodging underneath half-molten outcroppings as we keep scaling the final part of the mountain, passing ruined buildings and crumbling walls along the path, these ones looking even more ancient than the gates we passed through.
'Forget being older than Hiruko, or even being older than Konoha itself; this place feels like a civilization that predated the Warring Clan Era itself. I'm kinda feeling like Indiana Jones right now! … Indy whenever he gets captured by Nazis, unfortunately…'
The reaching peaks looked especially foreboding in the low light, despite it being the middle of the day, the sun blocked out by darkened clouds above and with the surrounding cloud layer acting like a cold mist wrapping itself around every nook and cranny of our surroundings, hiding much of it from view and making the world feel oddly small despite how high up we were.
The final gate looked older and less ornate than the previous ones, mostly made up out of a blue metal, the doors covered in wave-patterns and circled by water dragons, though it was quickly forgotten when Ichi opened it, revealing a steep pathway that opened up into a grand if aged and damaged staircase leading up towards his master's base of operations.
Though that was selling it short. Medieval middle-eastern Kremlin palace would be more accurate.
The fortress rose out of the fog like a phantom, its pale stone gleaming even in our dim surroundings. A vast dome stood tall as its centrepiece, capped with a golden crest that caught what little light pierced the sky. Smaller domes flanked it on either side, each one shrouded in the same heavy mist, their shapes barely visible yet their size making them appear oddly solid. Along the outer walls off the massive palace complex, dragons of stone and gold arched and curled, locked in a still dance.
The approach was cold, silent, and ruined. Cracks ran along the walls like old scars, part of them carved by time, part of them by… whatever the fuck it was that Hiruko had pulled out of his bandaged ass to decimate the original population. At we silently ascended the ancient walkway, we saw that at the top of it yawned an archway like a dark mouth carved into the stone, outlined by rays of light etched into the walls above it, a sunburst frozen in time. The faint shimmer of gold traced the design, though much of it had faded with age, leaving behind the impression of a temple beaten down by time and tragedy.
Beyond the arch, doors taller than any man loomed, large enough to make even the Brothers look like mere children, their surface carved with curling golden patterns that spiralled and tangled like living flame. We came to a halt, the ancient doors sealed firmly shut as Ichi walked in front of us, sweeping out the lanky arm not covered by his half-poncho.
"Behold! The ancient abode and mighty stronghold of Hiruko-sama, Lord of the Chimera Technique! Soon to be the epicentre of his ascension towards being the ultimate, perfect being!"
Silently, my group looks from the lanky man towards the sprawling complex rising up high above us.
"… remind me again, how many people does Hiruko-sama employ?" Suien is the one to ask.
"While Hiruko can always find a use for many test subjects, we three are the only aides that he requires." San shoots back with arrogance.
"… kinda big for just the four of you, no?" the Taki nin replies in a lazy tone, smirk firmly in place.
"… Hiruko-sama values his personal space … a lot…" Ni shrugs, folding her arms underneath her chest, which would probably be enough by itself to send the likes of Jiraiya sailing straight off the mountain top towards the earth below, propelled by a rocketing nosebleed.
'… I hate that I'm actually contemplating the combat merits of Naruto's Sexy No Jutsu… what's worse is that it probably is a really effective jutsu, considering the logic this world runs on…'
"Clearly." Is all Suien responds, glancing from Ni to the lanky twins at her side (and somewhat to his credit, not oogling the definitely not-lanky twins on her chest).
The three henchmen bristle at Suien's tone, but before I can try to deescalate the situation, the gargantuan marble doors of the ancient temple slowly shift open, the sound of tonnes of rocks being moved unseen feeling oddly silent in the thick cloud cover.
"Ichi… Ni… San… I see that you have brought me… guests."
The voice is strange, wrong somehow, simultaneously sounding young and childish and rough and decrepit and it makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand on edge. It has quite the opposite effect on the henchmen however, who immediately prostrate themselves.
"Oh great Hiruko-sama! News from your old friend, Orochimaru of the Sannin!"
The doors widen slightly further, showing nothing but inky blackness infinitely stretching further back into the building. Slowly, a white-clad shape become more and more visible as it moves out of the shadows.
"Orochimaru? Now there's a name I haven't heard in a long time…"
It takes a surprisingly large amount of willpower for me to fight down the urge to tell him we aren't the underlings he's looking for. The threat of dismemberment on the spot helps of course. Though I also realize the reference would be completely lost on them as well.
But it's mostly the threat of dismemberment.
Hiruko fully steps into what little sun manages to pierce the thick veil of clouds above us, bandage-clad feet slapping against the dust-covered shattered tiles of the ruins he has claimed for his own dark purpose. He was white-haired with red eyes dressed in an over-sized, high-collared coat wrapped with three leather straps, mirroring the strange belt-obsessed theme of his henchmen. One at least went around his waist as normal, but the second went around his chest just under his armpits while the last wend around his neck, supporting the thick collar. Even with the strange cloak on, it was clear to see that most of his body was covered in bandages, including his mouth and arms, revealing only the upper half of his face and hair. The puffy jacket concealed it somewhat, but from his bony hands and feet it was clear to see he was emaciated.
Despite his goofy look, a chill went down my spine, a more visceral reaction of immediate dread even when I first faced Suien in the woods of Taki. It didn't even appear as if Hiruko was trying particularly hard to come across of menacing like Suien had been. This was just his natural aura pressing down on us. I felt like a mixture between prey just being spotted by a predator, or perhaps a bug being studied underneath a lens by a scientist.
Clinical and… hungry.
I couldn't tell you what felt worse.
"Tell me, what news of Orochimaru?" Hiruko's oddly young voice rasps out over the shattered flagstones.
"He has sent one of his underlings, a mere pathetic weakling." San hisses out gleefully, shooting me a smug look over his shoulder, but his bait isn't as effective as he hoped, considering compared to Hiruko's sheer power, I am indeed a weakling.
Besides, considering the Snake Sannin's reputation, it was probably a good thing to establish right off the bat that he hadn't sent me here as some powerful assassin, looking to kill Hiruko and steal all of his knowledge for Oto.
After all, I had sent myself here so I could steal all of Hiruko's knowledge for myself and anything to remove any suspicion around that fact from the mad scientist's mind was all good in my book.
"Oh? What use have I for a mere pawn?" Hiruko muses aloud, but I get the feeling it isn't really a question meant for me, so I remain quiet instead, allowing the henchmen to take the lead.
"He claims to have information from the Snake Sannin, my Lord, in the form of seal work embedded in his arm." Ichi, the calmer of the twins, explains clearly.
For a long, drawn out moment, silence presses down on the large courtyard, no sound penetrating the thick cloud clover as the mist swirls around us, clinging to us with wispy spindly fingers.
Hiruko slightly tilts his head to the side, his sheer white bangs shifting around his pallid face, his red pupilless eyes focused intently on me, pinning me to the floor. Due to the collar and bandages, I can't see the lower part of his face, so he takes me by surprise when he suddenly starts to speak-
"A seal on his arm? Then why did you not simply cut off the arm?"
"Ha! I fuckin' called it!"
"For fuck's sake Suien…"