The air crackled with divine energy as the colossal arena materialized in the heart of the celestial realm. Towering obsidian pillars stretched endlessly toward the void above, their surfaces etched with glowing runes that pulsed like the heartbeat of creation. The seats—each carved from the bones of forgotten titans—were filled with gods who had waited eons for proper entertainment.
At the center of the arena, suspended in midair, was a massive shimmering display—a divine screen that would broadcast every moment of the tournament to the gathered deities.
Loki, draped in his signature emerald and gold silks, materialized at the center of the arena with a dramatic puff of smoke. The Norse trickster spun in midair, his boots never touching ground with a golden horn in hand as he addressed the gathered pantheons with a theatrical bow.
"Well well well," he purred, his voice carrying effortlessly across the infinite space. "If it isn't the most powerful, most petty collection of deities ever assembled. How delightful that you've all come to witness... me!"
A chorus of boos and laughter erupted.
"LADIES, GENTLEMEN, AND EVERYTHING IN BETWEEN!" Loki's voice boomed across the arena, amplified by magic. The gods roared in response.
"Ah, I see we're starting with the traditional offerings!" Loki licked the wine from his cheek with an exaggerated smirk. "But enough foreplay - let's get to the good stuff!"
"Welcome to the greatest, most chaotic, most gloriously unfair tournament ever devised by our magnificent, incredibly bored pantheons!"
With a snap of his fingers, the massive display flared to life, projecting the tournament rules in letters of fire:
He twirled in midair, his cloak flaring dramatically as the screen behind him displayed the words:
"THE GODS' GAMBIT: ONE MORTAL TO RULE THEM ALL!"
The crowd erupted again. Lightning crackled from Zeus' throne, while Odin's ravens cawed in excitement. Amaterasu's golden light flickered with amusement, and Tezcatlipoca's shadowy form rippled with anticipation.
Loki raised his hands, silencing the crowd with a smirk.
"Now, before we begin, let's go over the rules—because, let's be honest, half of you weren't paying attention when we discussed this."
The screen shifted, displaying the tournament's laws in burning letters:
THE GAME
Gods can select their fighter per fight (hero, villain, or unknown).One divine boon per fighter (Make it interesting, but don't break the game)Battlefield changes at whim of majority vote (Because chaos is delicious)
RULES
No direct divine interferenceonce the game begins.Death is the end. (No resurrections, no second chances.)No surrender (where's the fun in that?)No restriction on anything. (Betrayal? Allowed. Poison? Encouraged. Divine cheating? Well… try not to get caught.)No rules beyond these rules (naturally)
"Simple enough for even Ares to understand, yes?"
The Greek war god responded by hurling a spear that Loki caught without looking, using it to pick his teeth.
Loki winked. "In short: anything goes—except for us meddling directly. Which, let's be real, some of you will absolutely try anyway."
A chorus of laughter and indignant protests rose from the gods. Zeus smirked, Odin chuckled darkly, and the Morrigan sharpened a dagger with her teeth.
"Now then!" The trickster clapped his hands, sending a shower of golden sparks cascading through the arena. "Let's meet our first contestants!"
The display screen fractured into a thousand shards before reforming as a massive divine wheel, its segments marked with the sigils of each participating pantheon. With a dramatic flourish, Loki set it spinning, the symbols blurring into streaks of light.
The wheel slowed... slowed...
The screen flickered again, showing two glowing sigils—one the thunderbolt of Greek mythology, the other the twin ravens of Norse legend. The symbols spun violently before crashing together in a burst of light.
Greek lightning crashed against Norse runes.
"OUR FIRST BATTLE!" Loki bellowed. " THE THUNDER KING'S CHAMPION VERSUS THE ALLFATHER'S CHOICE!"
Zeus, lounging on a throne of stormclouds, smirked as lightning danced between his fingers. "Odin. How… predictable." His voice boomed across the stands, met with raucous laughter from Ares, who was already taking bets from Hermes. Aphrodite, draped in shimmering silk, rolled her eyes. "Must everything be a pissing contest with you two?"
Odin, his ravens perched on his shoulders, merely chuckled and stroked his silver beard. "Spoken like a god who's lost to me before." Next to him, Thor slammed his tankard down, ale sloshing. "HA! Let's see how long your little lightning-bearer lasts!" Loki, still hovering midair as commentator, grinned. "Oh, this'll be good."
The arena trembled as the ground split open, revealing a vast battlefield below. The arena floor dissolved into swirling chaos before reforming as a nightmarish landscape - part Olympian ruin, part Asgardian battlefield. Finally, it settled into a storm-wracked wasteland, where jagged cliffs rose like broken teeth and black lightning split the sky.
The Jade Emperor observed silently, his expression unreadable, while Guan Yu stroked his beard, analyzing the terrain. "A shifting battlefield favors adaptability over brute strength." Sun Wukong, already bored, spun his staff. "Ugh, just fight already!"
Amaterasu's golden light flickered with mild interest as Susanoo barked a laugh. "Finally! Some action!" Tsukuyomi, ever silent, watched with moonlit eyes, while Raijin drummed his thunderous taiko in anticipation.
Jupiter exchanged a knowing glance with Zeus, their rivalry long since cooled into mutual amusement. Mars cracked his knuckles. "I've got twenty drachma on the Norse." Minerva sighed. "Must you?"
Ra's falcon eyes narrowed as Anubis weighed an invisible scale in his palm. "Death comes for one today." Bastet purred, "Make it entertaining, at least." Set, ever the contrarian, smirked. "I hope they both lose."
Shiva, the Destroyer, third eye flickered open briefly as the Greek and Norse champions were announced. "Hmph." That was all he said before closing it again. Brahma, four-faced and perpetually distracted, muttered. "If they wanted entertainment, they should have asked me to compose an epic. Much less bloodshed."
Ganesha, munching on a celestial modak, chuckled. "Father, must you always meditate at times like this?". Shiva cracked one eye open. "I am not meditating. I am pretending not to listen to all of you."
Parvati, seated beside him, sighed. She turned to the others. "Who do you think will win?"
Indra, who had been sulking in the corner since Zeus stole his thunder (literally), perked up. "The Greek. Lightning always wins."
Krishna, lounging with his flute, smirked. "Ah, but the Norse one hasn't even moved yet. Patience, Indra. Or have you forgotten how that works?". Kali's grin widened. "I hope they both die horribly."
Vishnu sighed. "Why did we bring her again?". Shiva, eyes still closed: "Because she'd have stabbed us if we didn't."
The battlefield rumbled. The game was about to begin.
Loki's voice cut through the murmurs. "Now then… LET'S MEET OUR FIGHTERS!"
The gods leaned forward in their seats.