Due to a certain factor, fourth period dragged on oddly long.
By the time the normal high school boy named Kamijou Touma and his class ran to the school store and cafeteria, it was already too late. They were so horribly late that the store's bread had been wiped out, the cafeteria seats were filled, and those seats were unlikely to open up until the end of the lunch break. On top of that, the meal ticket machine had all of its "sold out" lights on like a cigarette vending machine late at night. Such misfortune. And the situation was entirely thanks to the digression caused by Kamijou Touma asking his history teacher, "Really? So what would've happened to Japan if Oda Nobunaga had created the Oda Shogunate?"
He felt responsible, so he headed to the faculty room to make a direct appeal to Komoe-sensei who was chowing down on a 580 yen healthy zaru soba set.
"Please at least open up the cooking classroom! I can make the Kamijou Special!! Just give me some leftover cold rice, grated cheese, and ketchup, and I can whip up something great!!"
But despite his plea, his teacher only smiled bitterly. To add insult to injury, the math teacher Oyafune Suama was eating a gorgeous seafood bowl with sea urchin and roe while the PE teacher Yomikawa Aiho was downing several nikuman that did not seem to be part of her lunch. This filled the room with delicious aromas, so Kamijou fled before he lost control of himself.
"I-is the drink machine the only path remaining? But will that be enough to get through my afternoon classes?"
The number of students suffering from a shortage of food numbered 21 in all. There was Kamijou Touma, Aogami Pierce, Tsuchimikado Motoharu, Himegami Aisa who had forgotten to bring a lunch on this day of all days, Fukiyose Seiri who was out of mail-order health foods, and all the other boys and girls in the class who got their food from the cafeteria or the school store.
As they watched those with lunches eat their extremely delicious looking tiny Salisbury steaks, steamed dumplings, and other foods, the empty stomach alliance finally made up their minds.
"Let's escape!! Let's escape and go to a convenience store!!"
It was unclear who exactly had shouted that.
The next thing they knew, the cafeteria & school store group had formed a circle and begun a strategy meeting.
Times like this were when Fukiyose Seiri truly shined.
"If we all leave the school at once, the teachers will definitely notice. The odds of success are highest if we have a team of three or four take everyone's money and buy all the food!!"
"Then what will the others do?" asked Himegami with a tilt of the head.
Kamijou raised his head.
"Provide backup by gathering information and creating diversions. We have to make sure the teachers don't find out about this plan, so we need your help. We need to keep our cell phones connected. Only the latest information is of any use."
"Okay, but where will we escape from, nyah?" Tsuchimikado drew a detailed diagram of the school on the back of a printout he no longer needed. "These are the locations related to intruder alarms. This infrared sensor is only active at night, so we don't have to worry about it. Given the location of the faculty room, we'll definitely be spotted at the fence if we leave through the front. Their window gives them a full view of the schoolyard there, nyah. It's gotta be the back entrance. But the guy working at the store goes in and out through there. We'd be in trouble if we ran into him, nyah."
"I see. So the trick is when we pass through the back entrance. Okay, let's divide up the jobs!!"
On Fukiyose's instructions, the 21 rebels divided into a few groups. Kamijou Touma, Aogami Pierce, Tsuchimikado Motoharu, and Fukiyose Seiri formed the team that would actually leave the school. It seemed they were known for being quick on their feet thanks to their usual idiotic commotions.
"But can we really entrust our lunches to Kamijou and his misfortune?"
"It'll be fine. He can play the crucial role of the decoy."
As his classmates whispered amongst themselves, Kamijou silenced them with his fist.
While still standing in a circle, they all pulled out their phones, set them to transceiver mode which connected multiple lines at once, and then synchronized the digital clock down to the second.
"Let's go. Mission start!!"
Fukiyose clapped her hands twice and the cafeteria & store team scattered like baby spiders.
Kamijou, Aogami Pierce, Tsuchimikado, and Fukiyose hurried, but travelled down the hallway in what could be seen as a fast walk in order to avoid the simple mistake of being stopped for running in the hall.
"Time is the real issue here," said Fukiyose as they made their way past a few teachers with a smile. "Lunchtime is when convenience stores make an overwhelming amount of their money. This escape will all be a waste if all the lunches are gone from the convenience store shelves as well!!"
They did not stop at the shoe lockers. If a teacher noticed they were wearing loafers instead of indoor shoes, their escape plan would be discovered. The fact that they had no shoes yet were not playing in the schoolyard made for a fairly fatal situation.
And so they had another group get some PE shoes which they exchanged for their indoor shoes. After travelling to the outdoor passageway connecting the school building to the gym, they put on the PE shoes and made their way outside. They then ran to the back entrance before anyone could question them.
The metal fence came into view.
No one was around. The problematic school store man was nowhere to be seen.
"Okay! Let's make a run for it!!"
Kamijou tried to jump the fence.
But then a shrill siren reached him.
He turned around and saw the gorilla-like Saigo-sensei who seemed to be just returning from eating out at a family restaurant.
The educational guidance counselor was driving a four door family car, but it was made for normal humans to ride. That openweight gorilla made it look as cramped as a phone booth.
"Tch!! We should have considered the possibility of the back entrance being used by faculty after parking!!"
Fukiyose regretted her own error, but Kamijou felt something else.
And that feeling led to a shout.
"No fair!! You went out to eat!? That muscular beast of a guidance counselor left us to battle our own in that over-capacity cafeteria while he went to enjoy a leisurely restaurant!?"
"K-Kami-yan, you idiot. Ignore him. If we get caught here, how will we ever get lunch!?"
Aogami Pierce's shout brought Kamijou to his senses.
The gorilla teacher got out of his car and approached with terrifying speed, so Kamijou climbed over the metal fence to escape. Recognizing the unfavorable turn of events, Fukiyose quickly fled on a different route. Just before he was caught, Tsuchimikado kicked Aogami Pierce down from the fence to offer him up like a flare used as a missile countermeasure.
So as not to waste Aogami Pierce's noble sacrifice, Kamijou and Tsuchimikado ran down the road with all their strength.
As he ran, Tsuchimikado looked over his shoulder and gained an expression of shock.
"Damn that gorilla teacher. He's already taken out Aogami Pierce and is running this way, nyah!?"
"Seriously!? Tsuchimikado, let's split up! We can't let ourselves be wiped out here!!"
The two boys exchanged a nod and turned right and left at an intersection to increase their odds of survival.