I couldn't even begin to imagine what Shen Feng must be feeling right now.
Maybe he, too, was trapped in that void-like mental state that comes after overwhelming emotional shock.
Just looking at the calm expression on his face made my heart ache and brought me to tears.
After Chen Pu, Jun Di also started sobbing uncontrollably.
But ever since Yin Shangtang died, he had no one to rely on.
Now, even though the grief was tearing him apart, he could only crouch down on the floor and cover his face as he cried alone.
Seeing Jun Di crouched there, clearly thinner than he had been just a short while ago, made my already aching heart twist even tighter.
I walked over to him on trembling legs, and when I reached his side, I reached out to help him up—but stopped midway, realizing with a deep sense of sorrow that I had no idea how to comfort him.
After Yin Shangtang's death, the only thing keeping him emotionally grounded had been Shen Xue.
His feelings for her were an open secret among all of us.
And really, in a world like this, how many girls like Xiao Xue were left—girls who still held onto their purity and kindness?
I slowly pulled my hand back and stood upright again, staring at Jun Di's body trembling from his sobs as he crouched there.
A deep sense of helplessness and sorrow wrapped tightly around me.
Now that Xiao Xue was gone too… what was left to keep this child going?
All this time, we'd been living in this world that had almost completely lost its logic and order—constantly surrounded by what seemed like unrelenting good luck.
Sure, we'd lost a few people along the way and had encountered our share of misfortunes, but all in all, we had been unusually favored by the heavens.
At least those of us who had gathered together from the beginning had always stayed safe.
Aside from Yin Shangtang, no one else had suffered any real accidents.
While we feared this world, deep down, because of our ongoing streak of good fortune, we had also grown somewhat complacent—reckless even—thinking maybe this world wasn't so terrifying after all.
Now, with Shen Xue lying on the bed, her breath of life gone, maybe the heavens had finally had enough of our attitude and decided to teach us a lesson—a lesson etched deep into our bones.
One that would make us understand just how serious this punishment was, a punishment meant to leave every one of us trembling day and night from here on out.
A few more minutes passed.
Big Beard started to lose his patience—he paced back and forth a few times before finally walking up to Suo Tian and saying, "Boss, we've already broken the rules more than once. This girl should've been dealt with long ago. Since you told us to hold back, we didn't say anything—but now that she's stopped breathing, if we wait any longer and she turns into a walker and bites someone…"
Big Beard's voice was as loud as ever, easily drowning out the soft sobs of Chen Pu and Jun Di in the otherwise silent room.
"Wait a little longer," Suo Tian replied, just as calmly as before.
Big Beard clearly wasn't happy about that.
"Boss, this—" he started to argue, but Suo Tian turned to look at him, and the rest of his words immediately died in his throat.
"Is it your turn to be in charge now?" Suo Tian's expression was clearly laced with displeasure.
Big Beard stiffened and quickly said, "I just think we can't keep breaking our rules. Back when our own brothers had issues, we always dealt with it directly. So why is it that now, when it's some outsiders, we suddenly throw the rules out the window?"
The middle-aged man stepped forward and tugged Big Beard's arm.
"Rules don't outweigh human feeling. These people aren't part of our group—they don't need to follow our rules. Just stand aside and keep watch in case the girl turns and bites someone."
Big Beard gave the middle-aged man a look, grumbled a few words, and begrudgingly returned to the side.
But the moment he stood still, he pulled a pistol from his waistband, cocked it, and aimed it at Xiao Xue.
I turned to look at Shen Feng, who was still holding Shen Xue tightly in his arms, his face abnormally calm.
I took a few deep breaths, wiped away my tears roughly, and forced down the suffocating sorrow in my chest.
Then I walked to Shen Feng's side and placed a hand on his shoulder, giving him a few pats.
I opened my mouth, trying to speak, but my throat was so sore I couldn't get a word out.
My nose twitched, and another wave of tears fell uncontrollably.
Shen Feng still didn't respond at all—he looked like he'd completely lost his soul.
Xu Shu nudged Chen Pu aside a little and motioned for him to go comfort Jun Di.
Then she walked over to me, sniffled, and gently pulled my hand off Shen Feng's shoulder.
She gave me a small shake of her head and said, "It's no use. Nothing we say will matter right now."
I looked at Xu Shu, tears pouring even more fiercely.
She was right—it was useless.
Right now, unless Xiao Xue miraculously came back to life, nothing we said could help Shen Feng.
I turned my head again to glance at Xiao Xue's lifeless face—so quiet, so still.
I wiped at the endless stream of tears.
Xiao Xue couldn't possibly come back.
This is what helplessness truly is—the greatest helplessness in life.
In the face of death and loss, all words and realities seem so pale and powerless.
They leave you panicked and heartbroken, yet completely without a way forward.
I clenched my fists tightly, trying to suppress the trembling.
I turned my head and moved my lips, taking a long moment before finally managing to say a full sentence to Xu Shu: "Let's go out."
I felt that if I stayed here any longer, if I kept seeing Xiao Xue and Shen Feng, the pain would twist my heart into pieces.
Xu Shu glanced at Shen Feng, and perhaps thinking that with Suo Tian and the others around there wouldn't be any danger, she let out a soft sigh, then gripped my hand tightly.
After that, she led me, my steps unsteady, out of the room where Xiao Xue had passed.
Humans are, in truth, cowardly creatures—similar in some ways to foolish ostriches.
When faced with things that make us sad, upset, or even threaten our safety, we subconsciously choose to avoid them.
That sense of emptiness we feel is a real manifestation of that subconscious escape.
Just like how ancient people believed in the unity of man and nature, we lie to ourselves with phrases like "This must be a dream."
Different in nature, perhaps, but equally absurd and laughable.
I didn't know what Xu Shu was thinking, but she unexpectedly led me to the staircase landing on the second floor.
It wasn't until I realized where we were and stopped walking that she finally turned around to face me.
I looked at the door leading into the second floor, then gave Xu Shu a puzzled glance.
"Why did you bring me here?"
Xu Shu looked at the door too.
After a brief pause, she slowly began to speak: "Chen Yang, I know this really isn't the right time to tell you this… but I feel like if I don't say it now, things might get even worse."
I stared at Xu Shu for a while, then sighed and said, "Go ahead. What is it?"
Xu Shu chose a section of the stairs and sat down.
I paused for a moment, then walked over and sat beside her.
"Chen Yang," she began, "have you thought about what Shen Feng might do once his mind catches up with everything?"
"What do you mean by that? Xiao Xue is already… What could he possibly do?"
"I don't mean it like that."
Xu Shu pointed in the direction of the second floor and turned to look at me.
"Xiao Xue was bitten to death by Rongrong. Do you think Shen Feng will let that kid go?"
I had to admit—Xu Shu's words snapped me back to reality.
Just now, my entire mind had been focused solely on Shen Feng, worried that Xiao Xue's death would be too much for him to bear.
I'd completely overlooked the actual matter of Xiao Xue's death itself.
With what Xu Shu had just said, my mind instantly started turning at full speed.
Putting aside whether Shen Feng would take any action against Rongrong once he came to his senses, the fact alone—that Xiao Xue died from being bitten by her—was already enough to make Suo Tian and the others suspicious of Rongrong.
And it wasn't just them—at this moment, even I was starting to feel uncertain about her situation.
She clearly hadn't been bitten.
And up until now, aside from being a little unnerved and traumatized, she hadn't shown a single sign of infection.
So how could it be that Xiao Xue died after being bitten by her?
We've never witnessed firsthand what someone looks like from the moment they're infected to the moment they die, so we have no way of determining whether Xiao Xue's symptoms truly matched an infection-related death.
Which means, at this point, Rongrong herself has become the biggest unstable factor among us.
Hearing that, I looked at Xu Shu and thought to myself—does Rongrong even still have a chance to survive?
Maybe because I'd stayed silent for too long, Xu Shu gently patted my arm and said,
"Chen Yang, I know you might be blaming me for already worrying about someone else right after Xiao Xue died, but… isn't this something we should've mentally prepared for a long time ago? We should've known that sooner or later, someone would die because of certain circumstances.
Living in this world, all of us are walking on a knife's edge. Just the slightest misstep could cost any of us our life.
Xiao Xue is just the first. None of us can guarantee that tomorrow, or the day after, someone else won't die in an even more tragic way.
So... what we need to do now isn't to all break down crying, consumed in sorrow and unable to let go of whoever's gone—but to get through this, and start thinking about how those of us still alive are going to keep surviving."
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