Once everyone had arrived, before they even had a chance to sit down, I hurriedly spoke up:
"Our car's still around, right? When Suo Tian and I came back today, we didn't run into any large hordes of walkers. I figure after those two big waves passed, there probably won't be any major attacks around here for a while. We should use this opportunity to go out and search for them. I just have a feeling they haven't gone far."
In my heart, I outright refused to accept the possibility that something might've happened to Yangyang and Rongrong.
Call it denial or self-deception if you want—but either way, I absolutely could not accept that idea.
Unless I saw Yangyang's or Rongrong's body with my own eyes, I would never stop looking for them—no matter what.
None of them replied immediately.
Instead, they exchanged glances silently.
I asked in confusion, "What's your take on this? Say something, will you? How are we supposed to plan if no one speaks up?"
Shen Feng looked at me and said, "I don't really believe they'd still be in the village."
"How so?"
Xu Shu chimed in, "We originally thought maybe the two of them had hidden somewhere in the village—maybe even hoping you guys would come across them. But just now Suo Tian said there was no one else left in the village. That means, if Suo Tian's right, then Yangyang and Rongrong didn't hide in any of the courtyards back then."
I tilted my head to look at Xu Shu and said, "Go on."
"Since they didn't hide, and it's also clear they didn't get in the car—if it were just Yangyang alone, that'd be easier to figure out. But the problem is he was with Zheng Rongrong, such a small child. So it's impossible that he fought his way out against the tide of walkers following our route. That's why I think the most likely scenario is that they fled forward in the same direction as the walker horde, using that to avoid a head-on confrontation."
I nodded.
Xu Shu's analysis made sense.
Knowing Yangyang's personality, if he were alone, he'd definitely choose the safer route—secure survival first, then think about everything else.
But then, Jun Di suddenly brought up a point all of us had forgotten: "Are we even sure that Rongrong and Yangyang were together? Things were so chaotic back then—we could barely look after ourselves. There's a strong possibility that Yangyang and Rongrong got separated and weren't together at all."
At those words, we all froze on the spot.
Jun Di was right.
If even someone as well-equipped as Suo Tian had to retreat under those circumstances, then the situation must've been utter chaos.
And if they couldn't spare a second for anyone else, then unless Yangyang and Rongrong happened to be together right from the start, the chances of them staying together were almost nonexistent.
That realization hit me like a punch to the chest.
If that was the case, then Rongrong's chances of still being alive… were close to zero.
After all, Yangyang had undergone quite a bit of training by now.
He'd followed us on many outings into all kinds of environments, so he more or less had some experience.
If he really came face-to-face with walkers, he should at least be able to put up a fight and carve a bloody path out for himself.
He was probably more reliable in handling various situations than we gave him credit for.
After all, over these past days, he had genuinely helped us a lot and must've learned a good deal about survival.
But we had always been together as a group.
The worst time we had ever experienced was during those first two days when chaos first broke out, when the two of us were hiding at home.
But even then, I had been by his side, carrying the weight of almost everything.
And now… if Rongrong wasn't with him, that would mean he was completely alone out there.
I turned to glance at the balcony.
The sun was already close to setting.
Just one night alone in the village had left me feeling so unbearably lonely and afraid.
Yangyang had already been out there alone for so many days—what must that feel like?
Just then, Chen Pu, who had been standing quietly beside Xu Shu, suddenly spoke up.
"Speaking of that night—when you and Sister Chen Yang went to Zhang Hongsheng's place—I remember Rongrong tugged on Yangyang's hand and ran off to play with that little husky. But once the walkers came and the gunshots started, I didn't see either of them again."
Upon hearing this, Shen Xue quickly said, "Then if that's the case, doesn't that mean there's a high chance Rongrong really is with Yangyang right now?"
Shen Feng waved his hand and said, "Alright, after going in such a big circle, we're still back to the same question. For now, let's set aside whether those two are together or not. Given how things are now, all we can do is hope the situation is better than we fear. But we also need to mentally prepare ourselves. After all, we all know what kind of world it is out there."
After speaking, Shen Feng looked over at me.
I didn't say anything.
I knew those words were meant for me—he wanted me to prepare myself mentally in advance.
But Yangyang wasn't just anyone else.
There was no preparation I could do.
If he's dead, I won't keep living either.
So right now, I could only keep believing in my heart that he's still alive—until I either find him or confirm his death.
Shen Feng must've seen the resolve in me, and after a sigh, he continued, "It's getting late today. If we're really going to search, let's prepare and head out tomorrow. Now that you're back, Chen Yang, and we know Yangyang and Rongrong weren't with you, it's time we went out to look for them."
"Our car's out of fuel," Xu Shu said.
Shen Feng waved that off. "No problem. There are still two barrels of fuel in the van. I loaded them before we met you and Suo Tian, but we never ended up using them. Looks like they'll finally come in handy."
After that, the few of us discussed some specific details, including how to handle things in case of emergencies.
In the end, we decided to set out early the next morning—start by searching the village and the surrounding area.
It had already been several days, and we believed the walker horde had likely moved far away.
If we were sure Yangyang and Rongrong weren't anywhere nearby, we'd go back and retrieve that cart full of sweet potatoes, corn, and chili peppers that we'd left on the road from Uncle Gazi's place.
Then we'd reassess the situation and prepare to search on a larger scale.
After discussing everything with Shen Feng and the others, a few of us gathered to have a simple dinner.
The gas tank in the kitchen still had plenty of fuel, so I forced myself to get up and boil some water.
Then I threw in some crackers and cooked them into a paste—barely passing for porridge.
When Shen Xue and the others realized that boiled water was actually safe to drink, they all sighed in amazement.
They lamented that if only they had known this earlier, it would've saved them a lot of trouble and effort.
After everyone had some of the cracker porridge and their bodies felt a little warmer, Shen Feng, Chen Pu, and Jun Di went back to rest.
Since Suo Tian hadn't returned yet, Shen Xue and Xu Shu stayed behind to keep me company and chat.
We sat on the couch and initially talked about how to go about the search.
But then Shen Xue suddenly interrupted me and said, "Wait, Chen Yang, we already went over those details thoroughly just now. We've been through so much together—don't you think by now Xiao Shu and I can handle a few basic plans? What we actually want to know isn't that…" She paused and glanced at Xu Shu.
Xu Shu gave her a slight nod, and only then did Shen Xue continue, "You and Suo Tian—what exactly is going on between you two?"
She gestured around the room with her finger.
Shen Xue had always known about the thing between Suo Tian and me—she just probably didn't expect things between us to progress so quickly.
I couldn't help but laugh inwardly; if they knew what happened that night back at our house, I wondered what kind of expressions they'd have.
I shrugged casually and said with forced lightness, "It's just like what you're seeing. Don't you think Suo Tian makes a pretty decent husband? Such a shame it's the end of the world—otherwise, I'd totally throw a big wedding banquet and make you two cough up a hefty red envelope."
Shen Xue and Xu Shu clearly didn't expect me to still joke at a time like this.
They both paused in surprise, then broke into laughter.
My fake lightheartedness clearly made them breathe a huge sigh of relief.
I knew they were worried about me—afraid that I'd do something irrational because of Yangyang's disappearance.
Looking at Shen Xue's face, full of teasing laughter, I felt a twinge of bitterness in my chest.
If something really had happened to Yangyang, what good would their comfort do?
Without my brother, I wouldn't have any reason to keep living.
Call me reckless, call me ungrateful, say I don't value my life—it doesn't matter.
People who've never had that kind of bond will never understand.
If something like this hasn't happened to you, you simply can't comprehend it.
I believe that if the missing person right now weren't Yangyang—or that girl Zheng Rongrong who has no blood ties to anyone here—but instead it was Chen Pu or Shen Xue, then Shen Feng or Xu Shu definitely wouldn't be acting the way they are now.
It's not that they're bad people, it's just…
I've come to realize that no matter when or where—your position, your pain, only you can truly understand it.
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