{Disclaimer: This chapter will mention certain adult / sensitive / suggestive themes, so please read on at your own discretion.}
- - -
Eve stood frozen in the middle of the living room, Elisa's hand gripping her ankle. She couldn't bring herself to turn around.
"What are you doing?" Elisa's repeated.
Eve clenched her fists, saying nothing.
From where Elisa lay, it looked like Eve had settled down. But then she noticed the knife glinting on the floor in the direction Eve was facing.
Shit. She wasn't thinking of…
"…Are you calm now?" Elisa asked.
Eve gave a small, unsteady nod.
"Okay." Elisa gingerly felt her throat with her other hand. She took a couple of deep breaths. Her lungs were burning, but as fresh new oxygen flowed into them, the pain subsided. She let go of Eve's ankle. Thankfully, Eve made no move for the knife.
Leaning on the couch for support, Elisa slowly stood. She swayed a bit as the blood rushed back to its regular circulation around her body.
Eve was still frozen there, head down, fists clenched, expecting the worst.
What she didn't expect, however, was a back hug.
Elisa pulled Eve into a gentle embrace. Where their skin met it felt almost too warm, burning in a way that made Eve's heart burst. Elisa lowered her head, resting against Eve's neck, her hands firm around her shoulders. Elisa's breath was light and teasing as it brushed against Eve's neck. Heat rushed to Eve's face, her heart hammering so fast it hurt. She had no idea what to do with herself. Her words were stuck in her throat, so she didn't even try.
She still hated herself for what she'd done, but her body betrayed her and clung to the comfort of Elisa's touch.
At the very least she knew that Elisa wasn't turning away from her.
"I'm not mad." Elisa's voice was quiet and soft against her ear. "So please, don't even think of doing anything like that."
Eve thought that she'd have a heart attack with the multitude of different directions her heart wanted her to feel. Of course, she was relieved that Elisa wasn't mad at her, but the devil inside of her said that she didn't deserve it and that she should still rush for the knife.
Then, of course, was her heart spiking from the hug, and Elisa's soft voice in her ear.
Eve opened and closed her mouth wordlessly.
"W-Why?" Her voice quivered.
"It was my fault. Besides, I know you must've had a lot of other stuff on your mind, too." Elisa wrapped one hand around to gently pet Eve's head. "I'm sorry."
Eve shuddered as tears slid down her cheeks. She was glad that she was facing away from Elisa because she became a sobbing mess, weakening at the knees.
Elisa caught her quickly. "Oop—there, there. Oh god, don't cry, Eve. It's fine. I'm here. It's fine. It's not your fault." As the little raindrops fell down, Elisa gently released Eve, grabbing a few squares from a tissue box to mop up Eve's tears.
She held Eve tightly as Eve started completely bawling, falling to her knees.
"Eueueueueueue…"
"There, there…" Elisa dabbed Eve's soft face with tissues, drying them up, hugging and consoling her. She bent down and held Eve as Eve continued to cry.
Jeez… she's such a crybaby. It's kind of funny, now that I think about it… Sergeant Glen of TRACE is a crybaby… how cute. Elisa brushed Eve's cheek and petted her head as Eve calmed down.
Eventually, the tears dried out. Eve still sniffled a bit as she was buried inside Elisa's embrace.
Her heart then rocketed inside her ribcage as she realized the position that they were in. She hadn't even registered while she was crying.
She quickly pushed away.
"Eve?"
She said nothing and just looked at the floor. Her blush steeped all the way up to her ears. Then, she felt the gentle brush of Elisa's hand on her head.
"Go shower and clear your mind. I'll re-heat the food. We can debrief when you're done."
Eve nodded, still sniffling.
- - -
Eve wasn't ready to face Elisa as she stepped out of the shower, brushing off water from her bandages. She didn't have a change of bandages for her shoulder, but at this point it was only a bit tender if she banged it on something. Besides, the bandages they'd given her were waterproof—the edges still got soggy, though.
I only have to keep them on till tomorrow, Eve thought.
She ran her wet hair through a towel, wringing the moisture from them. Her body was warm and her cheeks were flushed from the hot water of the shower.
She slipped back into her undergarments, a ribbed sweater and short-shorts before she stepped back out into the living room.
Elisa had already heated up the food and had cleaned up the room.
"Sit," Elisa said.
Even though Elisa probably didn't intend on it coming out like that, Eve obeyed like it was a command. She couldn't look Elisa in the eye as she seated herself down on a cushion.
Then, something warm poked at her lip. Eve looked up.
"Say ahhhh." Elisa was smiling. She had picked up a Korean chicken nugget with chopsticks, offering it to Eve.
Eve stared.
"I'm not mad, Eve."
Eve still stared.
"Okay, now that's just rude. Don't leave me hanging."
Eve flushed and ate the chicken from Elisa's chopsticks.
"Good girl~~~" Elisa smiled, propping her head up against the table with her arm.
Eve almost choked.
"Oops. Was that a bit much?"
Eve chewed quickly and swallowed. "Good girl??????? I can feed myself." She hid her face from Elisa as she picked up her own chopsticks.
"I wanted to try calling you a good girl. Is it too much?" Elisa was positively glowing.
"No…" Eve mumbled under her breath. It didn't look like her flush was going to go anywhere soon. "Besides, how can you call me that after…" she trailed off.
Elisa took a sip of water and rubbed her neck. "It wasn't your fault, Eve. It was partially mine as well. You kept Elise and I's secret, so I'll keep your actions a secret in return."
"...You should report me. I deserve it," Eve said, her heart cooling a bit. "If you don't, I'll turn myself in."
"Oh no you don't. If you do, I'll deny it ever happened."
Eve stared at her girlfriend with pained eyes. Elisa, no matter how she looked, seemed too perfect, too beautiful. All except for the ugly red marks that Eve had made with her own hands around Elisa's neck.
"But—"
"We're done with this convo, Eve, and we're moving on," Elisa said before picking up another piece of chicken. "It wasn't your fault. Though I don't know if I'll be able to deal with this happening in the future if it's a common recurrence," Elisa joked.
"Elisa, please. We can't just pretend that it never happened."
"Well, you pretended that the Bloom and Elise didn't exist for me for a while, didn't you?"
"But this is different, I—"
"Nope. No going down this vein. If this happens again, or if you hurt your squadmates, then I won't stop them from reporting you. But since this was my fault, then I'm fine with it."
"How can you say that?" Eve stared down at her bowl of rice. "Besides, it was my fault if anything for losing control."
"Eve, shush. I kept the fact hidden from you. I lied to you and betrayed your trust. I don't know the exact pressures you've gone through, but any military profession is hard work, especially since you're TRACE. It's bound to be too much sometimes, and if you snap… Well, I won't say that it's not your fault, but you don't have control of yourself either."
"Okay…"
Elisa picked up another piece of fried chicken. "Now say ahhhhhh~"
"...Jesus Christ, what the heck is that topic change…" Eve grumbled.
"You say that, but you still ate out of my chopsticks anyways," Elisa teased. "What happened to being able to eat on your own?"
"WELL—okay, that's just not fair, and you know it."
"Exactly. Why would I be doing this in the first place~?" I didn't know that Eve had this side to her, Elisa thought. She's like a child. Her heart cooled a bit. Though I hope she wasn't thinking of what I thought she was when she was looking at the knife earlier…
Eve looked up to Elisa's face. She was smiling. Genuinely beaming. Radiant, even after all Eve had done. It hurt her heart when she expected Elisa to be mad at her. But at the same time, that smile…
"You're having too much fun, Elisa…"
Elisa tucked a strand of hair behind her ear playfully. "Well, you're here, aren't you?"
Hearing that, Eve almost choked again.
So smooth, goddamnit.
"Why did you lie about the Bloom?"
Elisa swallowed a bite. "One, we thought we could kill her. No need to worry you or risk you snapping and attacking me in the middle of a mall. Two, once we realized we couldn't kill the Bloom, we learned we could control her."
Eve could accept that logic. She probably would have attacked Elisa if she'd heard the truth in public—she wasn't even sure what was stopping her now. But the last part caught her attention.
"You can control the Bloom?"
Elisa nodded. "Think of it like a voting system. Every 'me' gets a vote—Isa, Elise, and the Bloom. The Bloom can only take over if everyone agrees, and she can be forced back if even one of us says no."
Eve tried to process it. "So… you have to vote on everything you do?"
"Yes and no," Elisa said, offering her a piece of chicken. Eve leaned in and ate it without thinking.
"For normal things, whoever's in control—Isa or Elise—just acts. But if the Bloom tries something, she needs approval. Elise's hypothesis is that it's a neural process, so even with votes, it's no slower than making an ordinary decision."
"Wait—so you both approved the Bloom saddling me???"
Elisa looked away. "...Yes."
"...You're shameless. So my girlfriend lied to me about harbouring an incomprehensible anomaly only to use said anomaly to…" Eve trailed off. Her face became too red and her thoughts too impure to continue further.
"Eve."
"Mhmn?"
Elisa's voice was steady and calm, different from the teasing tone she'd spoken in before. "I lied about the Bloom, and I'm sorry about that. I know that I've broken some of our trust, but… not everything that I said was a lie, you know."
Eve looked at Elisa with a blank expression.
"I love you, Eve."
Smooth. Eve whipped her head away. Her blush steeped her ears, her cheeks and her face red. A tender, constricting feeling wrapped itself around her chest.
"I love you too," she whispered. Internally, she was screaming. I said it. God fucking damnit why does that make me so happy?
"Mmn."
There was an awkward silence as they ate. Elisa offered more chicken to Eve, and even though Eve couldn't work up the courage to do the same, she still left more than enough chicken for Elisa herself. They polished off the rest of the side dishes as well.
After finishing, Eve stood, piling up the takeout boxes and placing them in the trash to take care of tomorrow. Elisa helped with washing.
By the time they finished, it was late. Or, technically it was very early, depending on how you looked at it. Eve's clock read [03:47].
The dim glow of the apartment bathed the two in gentle brushes of light.
Eve gave Elisa her bed, intending on sleeping on the couch, but Elisa argued vice versa. The discussion didn't go anywhere until Elisa finally agreed to sleep in Eve's bed.
Eve was plumping up a pillow and smoothing out a sheet on the couch when she heard Elisa from her bedroom.
"Eve? Can you come here for a sec?"
"Sure."
She walked into her room. It looked exactly like she'd left it, only now her girlfriend was sitting on her bed with the curtains drawn open. The only light came from the city outside, spilling faintly through the tall window into the darkened room.
"Come sit," Elisa said, patting the side of the bed next to her.
Eve siddled over. She still felt slightly awkward, so she sat slightly further than needed, but Elisa beckoned her closer until she leaned slightly on Elisa's shoulder, looking up at the Seaward PMC. Elisa smiled.
"The night time city's beautiful, isn't it? Not that I have to tell you. This is your room, after all."
It was beautiful indeed.
Colourful neon signs lit up the city of Einstein like jellyfish floating through a void sea of metal and glass, blinking and pulsing as if they were alive. Light from windows shone like little stars in the dark. The actual stars waved from high above.
It was truly a luxury that they were able to sit like this, in this moment, while a war raged on.
A war that the two would have to return to very soon.
Elisa turned to her girlfriend. "Eve. Can you promise me something?"
"What?"
"I… know what you were thinking of when you looked at that knife."
Elisa felt Eve tense up on her shoulder.
"Please don't ever think of doing anything like that. If you're considering it, then come talk to me, or even one of your squadmates or friends. Can you promise me that?"
Eve relaxed slightly.
"...Okay."
Elisa pet Eve's head.
"One other thing—can I ask for a favour? It might help both of us to get things off of our chests," Elisa said. She wasn't trying to be quiet, but in the mellowness and dimness of the night, her question was barely audible.
"...I don't think that a single favour would be adequate, considering what I've done... I'll do my best, though. What is it?"
There was a still, tentative silence.
"Elisa?" Eve looked up from her girlfriend's shoulder to see Elisa staring back at her.
Elisa shifted slightly closer, pressing a hand onto Eve's bed on the other side of her hips.
"If it's okay," Elisa whispered.
Oh.