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Chapter 45 - My bloody heart.

Sometimes I still see you walking around town.

All of the places that together, we have been...

A figment of my imagination, I'm coming down now.

The memories and reality are blended deep within.

-

And I don't know

If I will ever be able

To sweep your cards off the table

And be stable

Enough to love again

I'm taught, like a cable.

-

And I can't see myself

Ever being the happy me

I used to be

Before our worlds collided

Before that unity

Of you and me...

The colors are blended

Although it's ended.

I can hardly see

The forest for the trees

And all the time moving

Away from me.

-

Away from you.

-

And I had to

Just leave

Do for me what I could do

Or suffer more and more,

Waiting for my dreams to

Blossom to...

-

It's been...1201 days

Since I walked away.

The scars are still

Painted across my face

And...

More than three years

And no "I'm sorry"

Has yet to come my way,

But what do I expect?

You'll never say

What you're not meant to say.

-

The stages of separation will end here.

I'm no longer bitter.

No longer longing.

Like a drug, I had to fucking quit her.

I had to separate

The "love" from all the triggers...

Detachment is a bitch,

But holding on

Makes the pain bigger.

-

I kept on chasing your shadow.

You kept on lighting a lantern...

I kept on thinking I mattered.

You kept repeating a pattern...

I tried to give you the world.

I tried to give you my Saturn...

You didn't want what I wanted.

Waited to watch it all shatter....

Waited to see it all scatter....

My bloody heart

On a platter...

Your darkened storms,

Or my light?

You only wanted the latter...

-

But I digress.

I need to let it go.

Let it all go...

Unless you read this,

You will never know.

You will never know...

And you won't care,

Because you never did.

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