She looked me in the eyes and said:
"I've always seen you as a friend before anything else."
I fought back tears...
For all of those years?
No, she has no idea how bad that shit felt...
I wore my emotions
So plainly on my belt
Should have left all that love
In that jar on that shelf...
Should have hoarded it all,
Through the heights and the falls,
Should have tucked it away,
Saved it for someone else...
-
And I read all of those letters that you left me
Right after I left you...
You hid them
Between the pages of my old journals...
I know you read them.
You couldn't not
Pop them open
Like kernels...
They bled through...
The pages,
But I never could mourn thought...
-
How could you...
Treat me like a dog
For so long...
For so long...
Then tell me I was "like a friend".
That seems so wrong.
Oh, so wrong...
I used to say:
"I feel like roommates more than lovers..."
I felt it even more keenly
When you stopped sharing the covers...
-
Yeah, I felt it far more deeply
When you started saying:
"Love you..."
When it never mattered
That I would have
Put no one above you...
When you made it obvious
That all my dreams would never come true...
When you kept telling me
"Find somebody new to give your love to..."
---
But I can't.
And I don't want to...
But I can't.
Cause I don't want you...
No, I can't
Just give it a hand
Or give it a chance...
I hope my love haunts you...