As he closed the door behind him, the pheromones that had spread throughout the room instantly covered his entire body.
"...Uh."
Josh was out of breath when suddenly coughed. After coughing several times, he could barely catch his breath. Even so, the pheromones he had already inhaled were enough to turn his mind into a complete mess. It felt like the pheromones that had been disturbing him from the moment he entered the mansion had now reached their limit. Josh closed his eyes, caught between the options of taking a deep breath or holding his breath.
Did he take any medicine?
Josh remembered that as soon as he entered the mansion, he took some pills. However, the pheromone of an extreme alpha that was in rut was stronger than expected. Additionally, the mark made Josh even weaker. Even if he had swallowed the entire bottle of pills, there would have been a limit to how long he could last. Josh felt like he was backed into a corner.
To awaken his hazy consciousness, he forced himself to remember his thoughts and slowly looked around the room. Like Chase's mansion, it was an incredibly bleak room. Looking at it, which consisted of only a tea table and a bed, Josh thought that it was because this was a temporary house. It was just a matter of taste, but in that situation, no one would care about the interior design.
He kept walking, feeling like his knees were going to buckle anytime. The bed with a thin canopy was empty.
But he was definitely in there.
Josh covered his nose and mouth with his forearm, breathing as shallowly as possible and quickly moving his gaze around the room. It was full of pheromone scent, but there was no sight of Chase in it. It didn't make sense.
Where is he? Where?
As he restricted his movements to breathe as little as possible, it took quite a bit of effort to check the room. He suppressed his irritation and quickly moved his eyes. He went around the bed and checked the wall, but it was empty. No matter how much he looked around, it didn't seem like there was any human at all.
No way.
Josh shouted, unable to bear the ominous thoughts.
"Chase!"
Josh's voice echoed faintly in the empty room. He was surprised by the indescribable emptiness and blinked for a moment. His nervousness multiplied, and he eventually removed his arms covering his nose and mouth and screamed.
"Chase, where are you? Answer me!"
At that moment, a faint sound was heard from behind. Josh turned reflexively and looked toward the connected bathroom. Without hesitation he walked towards it.
Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha.
Before he knew it, his breathing became heavier and his vision became hazy. If he didn't find him in the bathroom, he might not be able to last much longer. Josh forced himself to think about what he would do in that case.
What if he was not there either.
When he opened the bathroom door and entered, Josh felt cold sweat running down his back. He realized, briefly, that he had lost consciousness with his eyes open.
It was dense, thick, heavy, painful...
Chase's pheromones.
His mind had reached its limit to the point where he had to break down each word one by one. The bathroom, which was as large as the bedroom, was filled with scent. A pheromone several times more concentrated than what he had smelled so far hit him all at once.
And after a blank stare, he saw him.
"...Chase," Josh muttered softly as if complaining.
With each step he took, his legs felt heavy, as if there were huge weights on his ankles. He walked like a machine, caught between his desire to sit down and rub himself underneath him and his longing to see Chase's face.
Chase was lying sprawled out on the bathroom floor. He couldn't tell if he lost consciousness while trying to wash up, or if he was trying to do something else. The only thing he knew was that his naked body was much thinner than before, that his blonde hair had grown haphazardly as if he had washed off his hair dye after the filming was over, and that it was covering his face. Looking at him lying on the cold floor, he thought that he might be cold.
"Chase."
Josh barely reached in front of him and placed a hand on his shoulder. His protruding bones could clearly be felt under his palm. Some part of his brain, which had been dazed by pheromones, woke up. Josh tightened his grip and shook his shoulder hard.
"Chase, calm down, Chase!"
When Chase remembered Grayson's words, he slowly lifted his eyelids. The eyes revealed beneath the rich blonde hair were golden. Josh had definitely seen these dazzling twinkling eyes before. After a moment of stiffening, Chase opened his mouth.
"Josh."
The hoarse voice barely made any sound. Moistening his dry lips, Chase slowly stood up.
"Josh."
Chase called his name again and faced Josh, who was kneeling in front of him. A dry finger slowly lifted up and touched Josh's cheek. It trembled slightly and stopped in the air as soon as it felt the warm body temperature, and a quick smile appeared on Chase's face.
"Finally," he whispered. "You came to kill me."
Josh opened his eyes wide. Chase's smiling face appeared in his bewildered gaze. He smiled and hugged Josh with the happiest face he had ever seen.
Chase buried his face in Josh's shoulder, repeating the wish he had longed for. "Ha", he breathed a sigh of relief.
"It's really over now," he whispered.
Is he serious? Or is he just talking nonsense soaked in pheromones?
Josh grabbed his arm, barely trying to get his thoughts out of his dazed mind.
"Chase."
It took a ton of patience to suppress the desire to immediately knock him down and climb on top of him. Josh thought he might actually do it.
"Chase, wake up," he gritted his teeth and spat out. "Let's go out, let's go out first and talk."
He tried to force Chase to stand up, but he didn't have enough strength. Even if he was sane, just maintaining his senses was his limit, but it was impossible to get Chase, who was bigger than himself, to stand up and walk. In the end, Josh dragged him by the arm and tried to force him up, leaving him lying on the bathroom floor.
"Fuck!"
Josh looked at Chase's body, barely suppressing the urge to curse, and then stopped. Old and recent wounds were intertwined all over his body. Wasn't he on medication? What on earth happened?
"Chase."
He was about to call his name again and ask what happened when Chase blinked. His eyes, which had been blank and unfocused until then, instantly returned to purple and then turned golden again. But Josh could tell that he had regained some consciousness. Josh immediately dragged his knees in front of him and lightly tapped his cheek.
"Chase, are you awake? Chase?"
"...Joshua?" Chase blinked his wide eyes and called his name. The blank stare this time was for a different reason. He opened his mouth again, but it took another few seconds to make a sound.
"Joshua, is it really you?"
"Yeah, it's me."
Josh suppressed his rising emotions and forced a smile.
"What is this, don't you know that I'm in love with your pretty face?"
Of course it was a joke. Despite his messy, unruly hair and sallow cheeks, Chase was more than enough to irritate Josh even more than the last time he saw him. Perhaps it was because his unfocused eyes, long fluttering eyelashes, and thin, quivering lips made him feel more miserable than ever. He was like an opera singer singing in the rain in front of an empty auditorium. When Josh bit his lip in pity, Chase took a break again then spoke. With a voice that trembled even more than before.
"So, are you going to abandon me now?"
"Don't be stupid, of course it's a joke."
Josh hugged his shoulders, deliberately hitting him. Josh paused as he saw the skinny body in his arms. What on earth happened all this time?
"How did this happen? Chase, who did this?" Josh asked as calmly as he could. As long as he found the culprit who made Chase's body like that, he wouldn't let them go.
Chase looked blankly at Josh's face, which had put on a very gentle expression, and then opened his mouth. "I did."
"What?"
"I did it."
For a moment, Josh was shocked and speechless. The killing intent that had risen inside him instantly retreated.
"Why, just why?"
"..."
"Why did you do this? Huh? Chase."
Although he was careful not to press him, he couldn't help but keep asking questions. Josh really wanted to know. Why did he hurt himself and got so sick?
"Because," Chase muttered like a complaint. "I can't take any medicine."
"..."
"If I lose my mind, I might go crazy. I might rape someone, and I can't take pills anymore."
"So," Josh caught his breath and asked again. "So you did this to yourself? To your body?"
"..."
"Are you trying not to lose your mind?"
Chase paused, then nodded his head. Josh was at a loss for words again. He endured everything on his own and eventually came this far. What would have happened to Chase if Josh hadn't came?
Chase's earlier face, which had been holding out his hands to him as he hallucinated, came back to life.
When was the last time his face looked so happy?
In Josh's hazy memories, he recalled the moment he proposed to Chase. Then he couldn't stand it any longer.
"Chase, do you remember what I said?"
Josh was breathing heavily, barely able to get the words out of his mouth. Josh continued, still hugging him. "I said you couldn't die as long as I guard you, right?"
"..."
"There's no way I would kill you, Chase, right?"
Chase still said nothing. Josh felt pressured to death by the pheromones and his silence. Chase, who had been silent while leaning on Josh, finally confessed.
"I don't want to go crazy," he pleaded with sobs. "Oh, please... Joshua, I don't want to go crazy."
Chase has suffered from that fear ever since he has manifested. Josh could tell. Chase's fear, self-loathing, and all other emotions became sweet pheromones that settled down on him thickly.
Crazy and sweet.
Josh couldn't resist the sweetness and cursed harshly. "Damn it, why didn't you call me earlier?"
If only he called, Josh thought for a moment. He had no other choice, but he would have been able to protect Chase and be by his side. He wished he could cheer him up, encourage him, kiss him.
Once again, he left Chase's side when he needed him most. For the first time, Josh felt a sense of shame and self-loathing.
If he hadn't manifested as an omega, he would have been able to continue to protect Chase and not leave his side.
After a moment of regret, Josh quickly shook his head. No, that was not true.
"Chase," Josh called his name. "Chase, look at my face."
He forced Chase to look at him. Chase's wet gaze fell on him as he held his shoulders and looked straight into his face, keeping his distance. It was a beautiful face that always captured Josh's soul. Josh looked at him and thought that this was how a sailor must feel when listening to the siren's song.
"Chase," Josh opened his mouth with a strong voice in order not to lose his temper.
"If you weren't an extreme alpha, we wouldn't have slept together then," Josh spoke slowly, emphasizing each word. "If you hadn't lost consciousness because you are an extreme alpha, we wouldn't have slept together, Pete wouldn't have been born, and we wouldn't have met again and fallen in love like this."
"Also, if I weren't an omega, I wouldn't have been swept away by your pheromones, and I would have just been busy avoiding you, and you wouldn't have left a mark on me," Josh paused and continued. "Then we would just pass by and live and die without knowing each other forever, and the countless times I kissed you and the times I told you I loved you would have never happened. Would that have been nice?"
"..."
"All of these were possible because you are an extreme alpha and I am an omega."
After speaking up to that point, Josh looked straight into Chase's eyes and declared.
"I don't regret a single thing."
"..."
Chase still said nothing. Josh realized it was time to choose. The choice left to them was extremely simple. Would he do it or not? Josh quietly stroked Chase's ear. The smooth ears, without a single speck, were infinitely soft.
What will happen to us? Josh wondered if he had ever been this scared. When he decided to have Pete, when he entered the OR alone, when Chase stood in the dog's way to save Pete. When Chase vomited blood and collapsed right in front of his eyes.
Every moment was with Chase. Josh couldn't imagine life without him anymore. Josh ended up hugging Chase tightly.
"Chase."
Taking a deep breath, Josh opened his mouth. Chase's heavy breathing sounded in Josh's ears. He continued speaking, believing that Chase could hear him.
"I'm going to put a mark on your ear."
He felt Chase flinch as their bodies touched each other. Josh caught his breath and closed and opened his eyes.
"Steward said if something goes wrong, either you or I could go crazy."
He felt a faint tremor. It wasn't necessary to check how much fear Chase had. Josh added between sighs.
"Still, I want to engrave a mark on you."
"..."
"Because it's better for you to live with me than for you to die and disappear."
Josh, who had said that, closed his eyes. He slowly lifted his eyelids and whispered.
"I love you, Chase."
Chase stopped shaking. Holding his frozen body, Josh continued his confession.
"I've never loved anyone more than you. It doesn't matter if you're an alpha or a beta."
Josh gave his final monologue. A confession that may be his last in a sane state.
"I love you."
By then Chase was unresponsive. He just froze and buried his face in Josh's shoulder. Josh didn't know the extent of his fears. He just waited for him to choose. Chase asked after a while.
"...Even when I get old, will you be by my side?"
Chase looked up. His face was white as his stamina reached its limit. Josh opened his mouth to Chase, who was looking at him breathing heavily and shaking his shoulders.
"Even when you get old."
What Josh had once told him about how no one will like him when he gets older and his appearance changes seemed to have stuck with Chase. Josh, looking at the shaking eyes, smiled briefly as if imagining something.
"You'll be a very pretty grandfather."
Then he kissed Chase's lips and whispered as their lips pressed together.
"Even then, I will be so eager to kiss you."
Chase blinked. The tears that had quickly filled up flowed on his cheeks. Soon he hugged Josh's body.
Haa, haa, haa, haa.
He couldn't even tell who the harsh breath hitting his ears belonged to. Suddenly, Steward's words came to mind.
I don't care, Josh truly thought so. It doesn't matter at all.
He wrapped his hands around Chase's neck and pulled him towards him. Heads crossed, breathing mingled. Chase didn't stop him or push him away. Instead, he hugged his waist and pulled him close. Josh tilted his head and placed his lips on Chase's ear as if to encourage him to do so.
"Now you won't be able to smell other omegas until I die."
"Is there any other desire and excitement this intense?" Josh whispered, feeling dizzying pleasure that made him faint.
"Until death do us part."
Then, he bit Chase's ear hard.