> "When the universe calls for a hero... I send Kazuma. Because I'm too busy pretending to be incompetent."
— Blank One, Internal Memoirs Vol. 1
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It was a peaceful night in Kuoh Town.
Too peaceful.
Which meant only one thing: something stupid was about to happen.
The moonlight spilled onto the MC's rooftop as he stood alone, staring at the interface glowing faintly in his vision.
[Dimension Chat Group: Blank Host Online]
> Welcome, Host. Quest system active.
You have received your Blank Starter Pack.
[Starter Pack: OPENED]
1x Talent Insight Lens (Appraise any talent)
1x Basic Skill: "Adaptive Training" (Lv.1 – Boosts growth of any learned skill)
500 Coins
0 Talent Points
Title Gained: [The Blank One]
"Not bad for a tutorial gift. Still not enough to summon nuclear-grade nonsense, though," he muttered.
Then it pinged.
[First Member Summoned: Kazuma Satou]
---
[Chat Group: First Contact]
Kazuma:
> Yo. Did I die again?
Blank One (MC):
> No. You've been summoned to a chat group that spans multiple dimensions. You're now an agent of the Shadow.
Kazuma:
> …Sounds sketchy.
Am I still in heaven? Is this Axis Church propaganda?
Blank One:
> No. You're alive. In your world. You just… have a part-time job now.
Kazuma:
> …What kind of job?
Blank One:
> Saving your world from collapse. First mission: Stop the corrupted Champion draining the Essence of Eris's panties.
Kazuma:
> …I'M IN.
---
[Mission: The Panty Purge]
World: Konosuba
Objective: Eliminate Champion corrupting divine essence via Eris's... undergarments
Reward: 1 Talent Point + 500 Coins + Random Skill (Tier 1)
Time Limit: 24 hours (World Time), 5 minutes (Earth Time)
---
MC's Room – Real World
He sat cross-legged, still in pajamas, as his body glowed faintly with the transfer seal.
"Five minutes here. That's enough."
The screen shimmered—and then, he was gone.
Like a whisper. Like a shadow.
---
[World: Konosuba – Midnight, Axis Town]
The MC landed silently in a barrel behind the Axis cult church.
Kazuma was already there, peeking around a corner with his rusty sword and a face full of tension.
"Are you sure the corrupted champion is inside?" Kazuma whispered.
"Yes," MC replied. "He has absorbed the divine concept of embarrassment. Every panty stolen weakens Eris. If left unchecked, she will be reduced to a cult meme."
Kazuma stared. "...Damn. That's so stupid it sounds real."
"It is."
---
[Church Interior – Boss Battle Begins]
Inside the church stood a glowing man with an angelic halo—twisted and dripping dark energy.
He held dozens of floating, spinning panties in the air. They pulsed with divine light.
"You can't stop me! Soon, I will become the Pantheon Warden! The Embarrassment of the Gods shall be complete!"
MC stepped forward silently.
"Shadow Doctrine, Phase I: Moment Seal."
Time distorted. The champion froze just enough for Kazuma to activate Steal.
The entire collection of divine underwear vanished in a second.
Kazuma fell to his knees in joy. "This… this is my magnum opus."
The boss screamed.
MC appeared behind him and whispered: "You played the fool too well, Champion."
And with a single burst of compressed shadow—Snap.
The corrupted champion fell, void energy consuming his form like a forgotten draft.
---
[Mission Complete]
+1 Talent Point
+500 Coins
Reward Unlocked: Skill Gained — "Environmental Trickster" (Lv.1)
Kazuma:
> …So, like, we do this often?
MC:
> Only when the worlds need saving. And only from the shadows.
Kazuma:
> Can I keep the panties?
MC:
> No. Those are divine-grade. They've been sealed.
Kazuma:
> Cruel. But fair.
---
[Back in Kuoh]
He blinked.
Five minutes had passed.
Outside, the morning birds were chirping.
Another day at Kuoh Academy awaited.
He put on his uniform, grabbed his bag, and looked in the mirror.
Just a mob character.
Unremarkable.
Forgettable.
Perfect.
> "The curtain remains open… and I remain unseen."
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