7 YEARS AGO
"Oh come on kazimir! Its just a date."my dad insisted while on his knees, still taller than me.My head jolted. I didn't want to go on a date. In my opinion, I never even wanted a girlfriend. I don't believe in love.
No. I don't love my dad. Yes he's my dad and he's family but i don't love him.
Love isn't real. Love is a four letter word that people say when they feel like they want to be with a person or have something forever . Love is something "you feel" for a person. A true feeling. Fuck love for all I care. Anyone can say " I love you" then stab your back like a liar,
because there is no truth in a world full of lies and everybody knows it.
Since my dad told me the story between him and my mom I started being more cold to the girls in my school. Especially to Katerina… We were never friends anyways.. Well.. we were until 4rth grade..
" Kazi! Catch!" kate yelled throwing the ball back at me. We're playing ball catch with susan, my neighbor. We were all in a trio, me,Kate and Susan.
Before i could , Susan catched the ball and looked at Kate with a scowl. "Susan, the ball was supposed to be catched by kazi!" kate drawled coming to Susan wanting to get ball.
"I don't care.! It's my ball anyways! And i wanna play hide and seek." susan pushed kate away..
" Hey! Me and kazi wanna play ball catch! So if you don't like it the you can leave the ball and go. Right, Kazi?" kate asked turning her head to me." No! He wants to play hide and seek with me! Right, Kaz?" Susan asked me too.
They wanted me to…. choose?..
I didn't want to choose between them. I was personally comfortable with both games but… i had to choose.
"Hide and seek seems fun tho…?" i said shy looking between them
"Ha! He chose me!" Susan exclaimed in kate's surprised and hurt face.."Come on, kazi!" Susan pulled me after her, leaving kate alone in my front yard.
After that day, kate kept ignoring me and stoped hanging out with me. I also started ignoring the guilt i felt in my heart and sometimes i would have bullied her . Our talks were only the one's where we'd judge each other until we'd fight.
"Kazimir. It's really just a simple date with Katerina. What's so wrong with that?She's nice isn't she? She's beautiful, she does ballet-" my dad tried insisting but my frustration cut him off. "No. I said no and that's my choice. I don't want a girlfriend, dad. I don't want her."
I don't deserve her..
I could never see her or myself the same as two years ago. I could never see us the same as before.. Every single relation between us has disappeared beside our mutual hatred.
Sometimes.. I wish I haven't chose to go with Susan… She only made my life harder. After a week of our ignorance between me and katerina i tried reaching out to her to apologize and wanting to be friends again but Susan stopped me, making me choose again.. I remember that moment every day.
" Kaz. You need to choose . It's either me or her."
I chose her. stupid choice. When i went to apologize she just started mocking me so that's when i decide to just.. Give.Up.
"Kazimir. Don't be silly. She's perfect for you. And about you and her, why don't you meet with her anymore?" dad asked probably thinking i'll tell him the true story.
"Nothing. I just.. got bored." i told him ready to go back upstairs but stopped when hearing a similar voice.
Katerina
Shit.
My dad must've thought i would agree and already set the damn date.
"Sweetie! You came." my dad exclaimed . " Mr. Alexeev." her dad interrupted. " Mr. Ivanov. Pleasure to see you.. Can we… talk in private?" dad asked clearly going to tell him i rejected the date. "Ofcourse." . With her dads approval , they left.
I was alone. With her .
Shit.
After hearing the soft sound of the door closing, my head turned around ,only to see Katerina standing there and looking at me with a glare.
"Missed me, идиот?" she asked, a provoking smirk appearing on her face."Would never ,раздражает." I answered with an easy scowl. "So what have you planned for our little "date" ?" she asks taking a few steps further with a full on smirk. " Nothing. I won't be going on any dates with you.Ever." She'd wish she could date me. I may not want to date anyone ,but the ladies love me.
"Aww.. little Kazi's shy?" It didn't surprise me that she had so much confidence and such nerves to come here and pretend to like me for a date. She hates me, I hate her. It's a simple hatred relationship between us. And everyone should be aware of it, but since our families are kissing each others ass every month, it's obvious that we can't tell them that ,it would just make a problem.
Maybe if we hadn't fought years ago, we'd be best friends and could've at least fake dated,but since we aren't friends and never will be again, we'll just act like we're "friends."...
Fuck that anyway. She's a brat. She doesn't know how to act
normal for once. All she does is ruin things.Ruin feelings.Ruin hearts,shattering them into tiny little pieces until it feels like sand that cuts the skin every time you touch it,making it soak with blood when you hold
it tight in your palms.
She feels like the devil. She can create things but also destroy it in one quick snap from her gorgeous smooth fingers.Her beauty may be obsessive,making your mind wandering to her every day,imagining her in everything,thinking what would happen if you fall for her, but the same beauty your mind imagines every day is the same beauty the evil mother of rapunzel had when rapunzel sang the song for her. But remember when she cut the hair? She turned out as an devilish witch. The same devil that smiles in your mind is her.
It's kinda making me think.. what would've happened to her if we were friends? What if we never even met? What if one day i would just suddenly die out of the nowhere ?Would she even come to my funeral? Would she cry? Would she change or would she just turn out even worse than before? Kinda makes me wanna try it.. Just cut my neck or snap it.. What would happen?
Wait..
Why am i even thinking so much of her? She's your enemy,dumbass. You shouldn't think of her at all!
Maybe i should just leave her alone. Maybe i should just leave her all alone in this big house… Yes. do it-
"You're going." my dads voice is heard from his office door.