The tavern was loud, crowded, and smelled like victory, regret, and very cheap ale. After surviving another brutal Guild War Trial match — and somehow managing not to explode, implode, or publicly humiliate themselves this time — the members of Linked Hearts collapsed into mismatched chairs around a sticky table. The innkeeper, already wary of Lina's "accidental" fireball during their last visit, served their drinks with the cautious precision of a man defusing a bomb.
It was Kaela who noticed him first — the bard.
He was slouched across the floor in front of the fireplace, one boot off, one sock missing, and his lute strung upside down. He strummed a chord so wrong it made a nearby cat flinch. His shirt was open in a way that suggested confidence but revealed more bruises than abs, and his hair looked like it had lost a fight with a thunderstorm.
"By the gods," Kira muttered, watching him attempt to sing a ballad to a barstool, "he's tone-deaf and drunk."
"He's been here for three days straight," the barkeep whispered to MC. "Keeps singing about heartbreak, dragons, and something called 'The Epic of Cheese.' I'd pay you to take him."
But MC was already intrigued. He watched as the bard, eyes half-lidded and voice cracking like dry wood, serenaded a bowl of soup before falling backward and landing in Iris's lap.
"...Ow," the bard said, blinking up at her. "You're either the most beautiful woman I've ever seen or I've died and gone to Goddess Tier Heaven."
Iris blinked once. "Both are incorrect."
Luna gently pulled the bard upright. "Are you okay?"
He gave her a wobbly thumbs-up, then tried to wink at Kaela and missed.
MC stood up, walked over, and offered a hand. "Name's MC. You, uh… got a name?"
"Jax," the bard slurred, accepting the handshake but somehow shaking MC's elbow instead. "Poet, musician, breaker of hearts, destroyer of sobriety. You're cute. Do you have ale?"
"...We might."
"You have a guild?"
"...Yes?"
Jax leaned closer, breath a mix of rum, regret, and bad decisions. "I'm joining."
"What?"
"You said you have ale."
"I didn't say—"
"I accept."
And just like that, he stumbled upright, pulled out his lute, and launched into a slurred battle anthem so offensive to rhythm that Lina's flames twitched in protest.
Kaela rubbed her temples. "We're letting him in?"
MC shrugged helplessly. "I mean… he has bard powers, right? Buffs? Music magic?"
Jax promptly tripped on his own instrument and faceplanted into a bucket. A single note rang out — and somehow gave MC +1 Agility for three seconds.
Kira stared. "Okay, that… that's either brilliant or cursed."
Luna giggled softly. "He's funny."
"He's drunk," Iris corrected.
"He's both," Jax said, emerging from the bucket with an apple in his mouth. "And I promise you this — if you give me booze, I shall compose the greatest anthem in all of guild history. It will be called: 'Harem King: The Ballad of Buttflames.'"
"Please don't," MC whispered, facepalming.
"Too late," Jax declared, raising a mug that wasn't his. "To questionable decisions!"
"To accidental recruitment," Lina sighed, clinking mugs.
And so, amid spilled drinks, awkward applause, and one overturned chair, the worst bard in the continent — or possibly the most brilliant one, depending on alcohol intake — officially joined Linked Hearts. He had no idea what he was getting into. Neither did they.
But at least he came with theme music. Sort of.
END OF CHAPTER 39