If there's one universal truth in life, it's this:
Don't interrupt a girl riding a twelve-foot boar during a magical beast stampede.
Too bad I never got that memo.
It started, as most things do, with me wandering into a situation I had no qualifications to be part of.
We were following a quest trail into a forest area northeast of Plume Market. Supposedly "mildly dangerous." You know, like hot tea or mildly rabid squirrels.
Then the ground started shaking.
"Is that… thunder?" I asked, clutching my quest map.
Lina narrowed her eyes. "Too rhythmic. That's hoofbeats."
Iris pulled me behind a tree. "Something big's coming."
And then—
BOOM.CRASH.SNORT.
A herd of massive horned deer, wild war-pigs, and one aggressively caffeinated squirrel burst through the foliage.
At the head of it all?
A girl.
Standing tall on the back of a tusked, armored boar the size of a carriage, holding twin whips, a wolf tail swishing behind her, and the angriest scowl I'd ever seen.
"MOVE OR BE STOMPED!"
We moved.
We launched ourselves into a ditch like cowards with dignity to spare.
"Who was that?" I croaked, still upside down in a bush.
Lina peeked through the leaves. "Beast Tamer. Probably a high-tier one. Did you see that boar? That thing had plated armor."
"She had a tattoo," Iris added. "Mark of the Wild Crescent Tribe."
I blinked. "That's a real thing?"
"Very real. Very anti-people."
"...Cool. So we just almost got pancaked by a magical misanthrope riding a murder pig."
"Yes," Iris said calmly. "Exactly that."
Naturally, like the moron I am, I suggested we go say hi.
Lina looked at me like I had suggested marrying a banshee.
"Did you see the aura around her? She probably uses wild beasts for toothbrushes."
"But think about it!" I said, holding up the slightly-gooey quest scroll. "This area is the monster source we were sent to investigate. If she's here, maybe she's involved?"
"She's involved in kicking people's teeth in," Lina muttered.
But I was already walking.
We found her in a clearing, surrounded by the herd.
She was muttering to a two-headed owl while using a stick to draw a map in the dirt.
Her boar—affectionately named Snortimus Rex, according to the nametag etched into his tusk—was chewing a log the size of a canoe.
I cleared my throat.
She didn't look up.
I cleared it again. Louder.
Nothing.
So I said, "Uh. Hi?"
That did it.
She snapped her head up and fixed me with the deadliest glare I'd seen since Lina caught me stealing her last health potion.
"You lost?" she asked.
"Uh… sort of."
"You in my forest?"
"I mean, technically the kingdom's, but—"
"WRONG ANSWER."
The wolf tail fluffed.
A vine slapped around my ankle and yanked me upside down before I could blink.
Lina and Iris both sighed loudly.
"See?" Lina called up to me. "Told you!"
I flailed. "Help?!"
The girl stood beneath me with her arms crossed. Up close, she was maybe my age, with amber eyes, messy brown hair tied in warrior braids, and ears that twitched like angry satellites.
"I don't like humans," she said.
"Cool! I barely qualify!"
"I REALLY don't like Guild people."
"I'm actually more of an aspiring—"
"And I REALLY, REALLY don't like boys who step on sacred dirt and interrupt nap time."
I looked down. The spot I had stepped in was literally labeled "NAPPING ZONE – DO NOT DISTURB" in flowers.
"Wow, my bad."
Eventually, Lina bribed her with smoked jerky, Iris complimented her beast bond technique, and I… mostly hung there upside down trying not to die.
Her name?
Kaela.
Occupation: Beast Whisperer, Lone Nomad, Local Menace.
Mood: 90% "I will eat you" and 10% "I might tolerate you if you shut up."
She eventually let me down. Sort of.
I landed face-first in mud. Snortimus Rex snorted approvingly.
"We're tracking corrupted creatures," Iris said. "You've noticed anything?"
Kaela eyed us. "...Yeah. Monsters are acting weird. Smells like system sickness."
"System… sickness?" I blinked.
But she didn't explain. Just turned, whistled, and her entire beast army turned to follow her.
"Leave my forest before I sic the chipmunk," she warned.
The chipmunk waved a tiny axe.
I waved back.
We watched her go in silence.
Then Lina nudged me. "She's gonna join us."
I stared. "What?"
"She's exactly your type. Dangerous, mysterious, emotionally repressed."
Iris nodded. "He does seem to attract those."
"I—what?! No! That's not a type!"
But in the distance, Kaela paused.
She turned slightly.
Smirked.
Then vanished into the trees.
My System pinged.
Potential Link Detected.
I screamed.
End of Chapter 19