College looked nothing like I'd imagined. Probably because, well...I'm in Nigeria. Oh yeah, in an Air Force school.
"Roommates," I whispered to myself. I'd wanted to stay off-campus - guess you already know how that conversation went. "No, no you can't," she sighs. I've never stayed away from home and was at least hoping I'd be by myself. Never really liked people, or in this case girls. If I talk to a girl that has no anime or game interests, damn I'd be bored and it'd be awkward.
I guess as a former tomboy (again, forced to change) with zero fashion sense I actually like - only female clothes now - and blessed with curves that recently decided to expand (my hips and ass got bigger, so my walk developed this sway from left to right). Sorry, I'm just whining to myself. Put it this way - I don't know how to interact with my own gender at all.
From the dorms, I moved quickly to my room and picked the top bunk because it was away from people. No one really sits on the top bunk - it'd be really weird if someone climbed up and just laid in your bed.
I don't know what gave me a sudden shift in confidence, but I spoke up to my first roommate, Angela, a second-year Economics student.
"How's college and how things work here?" I asked.
"College is basically stress. And at this school? Let me just tell you - avoid the soldiers here at all cost or they'll really trouble you, especially to get your number," Angela said.
Angela told me a lot of stories about the school, making the room feel less boring. My second roommate came in - Ene, first year studying International Relations. We exchanged pleasantries while Angela kept the conversation going like a human entertainment system, temporarily stopping my boredom.
Aside from that, music became my go-to escape. Never really had a phone with internet access, but luckily I had a bunch of downloaded anime to binge during breaks. Even some music - mostly anime soundtracks. No earpiece or headphones, so I had to listen through the speaker.
Music is like an escape from reality, a break from troubles - truly helpful if you have an active imagination like me. My past imaginations were about true love and my imaginary best friend. I still believe he's out there somewhere. I even wondered if my best friend could be my soulmate too.
I think I've lost my soulmate - aka my first love. Believe me when I say I've never had a crush in my entire life. Even all those anime boys I gushed about? Didn't actually have crushes on them. They're just drop-dead gorgeous but...never real feelings. Yeah, my first love wasn't actually a close friend. After graduation, I completely lost feelings within weeks. I sometimes forced myself to remember him and recreate those imaginary scenarios, until it got tiring and I stopped feeling anything at all.
Now my imaginations are mostly career-focused - me studying abroad, putting in my best effort to graduate at the top of my class. Trust me, before the heartbreak of being told I couldn't study my dream subject, I had life plans. Serious, perfected plans. But life chose to teach me that not everything you plan actually works out.
My third roommate walked in - Beloved, second-year IT Engineering student. More pleasantries exchanged while Angela kept the room lively. I won't lie, there was a tiny spark of excitement about how college might be tomorrow.
I tucked myself in after saying a prayer - though doubting if anyone was really listening - then picked up my phone to search for jobs or quick cash opportunities. Mostly quick cash. I saw an ad for a game:
"Play for seven days and get ₦100k transferred to your Opay account. This could be it..." I paused with excitement. "Or it could be a scam. Let's hope sha," I muttered.
I stayed up all night playing the game. "Yes! Got fifty thousand, just fifty more to go. I hope this is real."
Rose continued playing through the night. The sun rose after only a few hours of sleep.
Tired, she groaned: "Guess it's time for this God-forsaken class."
After a quick bath, she headed to class.
"Okay Rose, just remember - you're going to leave here. It's just a matter of time," she told herself.
The class was boring. Sleep threatened to overtake her, but she fought to stay awake. Sitting alone, she secretly pulled out her phone to search for more job opportunities.
"I already hate this class. Boring teachers, over-serious students in front, friend groups formed impossibly fast. Just looking at the lecturer...she's saying absolute shit," Rose thought, scanning the room and observing people's behaviors.
"This is pointless. I'm not staying here. I'll make that cash and go," she resolved.
When the eternity of class finally ended, she waited for the next one while watching Mortal Kombat on her phone. A guy noticed and asked about the movie. They started discussing it, then he showed anime on his phone. They had a long conversation about anime and how cool it was.
After the long day, she returned to her room and picked up her phone again - only to be interrupted by her mom's call.
"Hey Mom, how are you?"
"I'm fine, thank God. How was class and everything?"
Rose thought: "How do I tell you I hate this school and this entire course?"
With faked excitement: "It was fine, Mom."
"Thank God. Remember to be serious - God will help you. I love you."
"I love you too."
"Want to talk to your brother?"
"Don't worry Mommy, I don't-"
"Come on, talk to him."
What followed was the most awkward conversation ever:
"Hey."
"Hi."
"How are you?"
"Fine."
"Bye."
Mom sighed. "When you're together, you two talk constantly. Now it's just 'hi, hello'?" she said, mimicking their voices.
Rose burst into laughter. "Mommy, it's not like that!"
"It's exactly like that," Mom said. After a pause: "Fine, it's fine. Okay, just rest for tomorrow, okay? And let's pray tonight - you didn't call yesterday."
"Okay Mom, I'll make sure to call. Bye, I love you."
"I love you more."
Rose blushed hard and ended the call. Her thoughts immediately robbed her of the peaceful moment. "I have so much work to do. So much."
For several days, she sacrificed sleep. "Christmas is coming, so we'll be on break soon. I need to finish on time and get this hundred thousand naira. It's like the closer I get, the slower the money comes. Fifth day and only ₦1000? This progress seems so fucking slow. Just gotta be persistent."
The next day arrived, and as usual, she was exhausted. "I need to register this room to finally complete registration."
She went to the Student Affairs office and waited outside.
"I've been here for hours. This feels like a year," she muttered.
"Next!" a man shouted.
"Finally." She walked in.
"How can I help you?"
"Sir, I want to register for my hostel."
"Which room?"
She provided all the necessary information.
"Your room has been taken, and there are no other rooms available in any of the hostels," the man stated.
"Sir, I don't stay in Kaduna and-"
"I'm sorry, I can't help you. Next!"