"Okay, fine. I think that was the plan, let it go as far as it could, wait until I shocked myself into saying it." Tanner's voice is calm, too calm. He speaks like someone who's been waiting for this moment for years.
He slips his hand beneath Jess's dress, fast and sure, like a man claiming what's his, but Jess grabs his wrist, stopping him cold.
His chest heaves. His mind reels. Disbelief crashes over him like a wave.
"How… How do you know?"
His voice is a whisper. Barely even that. He can't look at Tanner. Can't meet those eyes that suddenly feel like they've seen everything.
Tanner chuckles,,, soft, knowing, amused. The sound sends chills down Jess's spine.
He leans in, placing a featherlight kiss on Jess's cheek, but Jess has already turned his face away, heart pounding too loud to hear his own thoughts.
"Jess," Tanner says gently, "do you seriously think you just escaped that night? That it was the Moon Goddess's grace that let you slip through every guard and shadow?"
He pauses.
"I let you go. I stood there and watched you run because I wanted you to. That execution... it wasn't for you. It was for the one who tried to play with what was already mine."
Shock slams through Jess like lightning striking his spine.
He's trembling now, shaking, not just with fear, but with something deeper, darker, more tangled. Panic. Rage. Want. Confusion.
Tanner's eyes glitter as he lifts a hand. "Get this off. I'm craving to see the real you."
He slides the wig from Jess's head, letting the strands of brown hair fall naturally around his face, short, soft, striking. Jess looks exposed, like the wind just stripped him bare.
Then Tanner leans in, cupping Jess's cheek. His thumb smears the lipstick, then his lips follow slowly, deliberately licking and sucking the color away.
His mouth lingers longer than necessary.
He pulls back just enough to whisper against those now-bare lips, looking at them with contentment in his eyes.
"This is even better. Just like I remember seeing them, but never reaching them."
Then he kisses him again... deep, claiming, possessive. Jess doesn't respond even when his body is always out there, he doesn't fight it either.
He just lays there under Tanner, caught in the eye of this storm that he doesn't understand.
Tanner sounds dangerously in love. And Jess has no idea what to make of it. No idea how to feel, only that his body is trembling under Tanner's touch, and his heart is cracking open beneath every word.
"That night…" Tanner breathes, resting his forehead against Jess's. "I let you go thinking I could just find you whenever I wanted. A blink, a breath, how far could that kid really run? No money, no name, nothing."
His voice thickens with the memory. "But I made the greatest mistake of my life by not following you. I didn't hold you back. And I've paid for it every single night. Years. Years spent searching, cursing myself, tearing the world apart looking for you."
His eyes burn now, and Jess sees it_ raw, searing truth.
"I've never suffered like that before," Tanner says, breath shaking. "You wonder what kind of suffering I mean? I'll tell you."
He swallows. Hard. Like he's trying to force years of silence down his throat all at once.
"The first time I broke was at seventeen. When your father always brought you to the pack house. But the very first time I really saw you was at the grand mating season's opening ceremony. That day… you ruined me. You ruined my whole life."
His fingers clench against Jess's waist, not to hurt, but to ground himself, like touching Jess is the only way to stay present.
"From that day, I couldn't stop questioning myself. Why did I think a boy was beautiful? Why couldn't I stop looking at you?" His voice cracks slightly. "I've seen beautiful girls before, and I didn't stare that much, of which I was supposed to stare at girls, not to stare at a boy."
Jess swallows tightly, mouth dry. His eyes sting, This is a lot, a lot than he could ever imagine in his entire life.
"I didn't understand it," Tanner goes on, the words ripping free like torn stitches. "Days passed. Then weeks. Then months. And the questions got worse. It wasn't about why I thought this boy was beautiful anymore, it turned to... Why did I want to kiss this boy? Touch him? Hold him in ways I was supposed to want with girls?"
He pulls away just a little, his gaze searching Jess's face like it's a map he's memorized a thousand times but still needs to trace again.
"It tortured me. I couldn't concentrate in school, at home. Nowhere felt safe from it."
His voice softens, wounded and confessional. "I wasn't of age yet, so I couldn't blame it on the mate bond. I didn't know what to call it. I didn't know how to stop it."
He breathes, shakily. "Loving someone of the same gender wasn't even forbidden, it was unthinkable. No one even imagined it. And I knew it was unacceptable in every way. I didn't want it myself. I hated myself for it. I begged whatever gods were listening to take it away. But it never left."
He closes his eyes, voice just a breath now.
"I kept quiet. I suffered. And I longed for you dangerously, hopelessly, endlessly."
For a long moment he doesn't speak.
Tanner looks like he's just torn open his own chest, and Jess… Jess lies still, too stunned to move. His heart hammers. His skin burns. And inside, something fragile and wild is breaking open.
Because now, he doesn't know if what he feels is fear… or the overwhelming reveal. He doesn't know what to do with all this.
He wants to believe this is just a dream, some strange, vivid illusion, but it's not. He wants to tell himself Tanner is lying, that none of this is real. But in all his life, he has never heard someone speak with such raw, terrifying honesty. It rattles him to the core.