The Pantheon Vault had three defenses:
The Celestial Lock (required solving a divine riddle)
The Thousand-Eyed Sentinel (a security system made of stolen godly eyes)
The Fine Print (literally cursed paperwork)
Luo Feng's shadow, however, had developed opinions about authority.
It peeled off the ground, snatched the vault key from a passing angel's belt, and waggled it at him like a proud thief.
[System Alert: SHADOW REBELLION DETECTED]
[New Status: "Owner of a Kleptomaniac Silhouette"]
THE BREAK-IN
Step 1: Distraction
The Death Queen flirted with the Sentinel until its eyes all dilated at once
"Darling, blink if you're into toxic relationships."
Step 2: Bureaucracy Hack
Li Qing froze the Fine Print into brittle, shatterable ice
"Legal loopholes are just weak points with footnotes."
Step 3: The Actual Theft
Luo Feng's shadow pickpocketed the thunderbolt while he pretended to solve the riddle:
"What's the ultimate weapon against gods?"
"Uh… bad Yelp reviews?" (The lock clicked open.)
THE ESCAPE
Chaos ensued:
The thunderbolt thrashed like a captured star
The Sentinel sneezed (Death Queen's poison finally kicked in)
The vault's self-destruct fine print began counting down
Luo Feng's shadow, meanwhile, also stole:
The Sky Father's favorite sandals
A jar labeled "Primordial Darkness (Do Not Open)"
Someone's divine lunchbox
[Acquired: SKY FATHER'S THUNDERBOLT (PRIME)]
[Bonus Loot: Celestial Snacks, Forbidden Jam, One Angry Shadow]
THE AFTERMATH
Back at base:
The Death Queen modeled the stolen sandals
Li Qing preserved the thunderbolt in ice (it kept trying to bolt)
The Fox Spirit's dream-fox demanded a cut of the loot
And Luo Feng's shadow?
Now wearing the jar like a hat, ominously rattling.
[New Quest: "Shadow Intervention"]
[Penalty: Your Silhouette Might Start a Cult]
The plush demons began worshipping the jar.
END OF CHAPTER 69