EXTRA
"Seriously?" Of course, Saber is against this idea. Why would she not be? There is no way she would want to sleep with Rin.
"It… would improve your performance by almost 200% and that's your best shot, I suppose," says Rin. "You know, it's not easy for me, either!" That… that does not really justify this! It is so out of the blue, too. I am really speechless.
"Okay," Mordred gives in. "Fine. But only 'cause of the strengthening. Touch my Master and I'll rip your head off." At least she still has the decency to keep Rin off me. Wait. Wait . Saber accepted ?! She cannot be serious. Now I could not possibly refuse. Does she realise what this means at all? I understand that she wants to win badly and I do not really want to die either, but still… This seems a bit too much for me.
"Sure," says Rin, as if it was the most normal thing to agree on conditions for a threesome with your crush and her girlfriend. "H-How to start?" Do not tell me Rin never did those things herself on top of all… This cannot go well. No way.
"Kissing, I suppose?" Saber shrugs. How can she be so indifferent? I am just a bystander, I feel so frozen, so taken by surprise.
I cannot even process much thoughts before, and especially not after I see Rin leaning in and kissing Saber. My precious, beloved, rebellious knight. Blushing now, a face of hers only I saw like this up until now. It hurts, and I can barely swallow.
Why can Saber not push her away? Why are they still going?! This is too much, I cannot watch this… Much less participate . I do not want my girlfriend being touched by anyone but me. I run towards the door of our room, smashing it close behind me and run. I keep running, not minding the hot tears flowing down my cheeks. I run, and run, and run.
I stop, due to my lungs hurting—which I have not noticed before, my whole chest hurts so badly anyways; emotionally, not physically. But I am not even sure anymore it is not really physically. I find myself quite a while away from the school building, on a field of grass. It is probably close to the limit of this whole simulation, I would soon run into an invisible wall if I kept going.
Or just be deleted, which seems quite welcoming right now. I sit down on the cold ground, pulling my knees to my chest, hiding my face. I just cannot stop crying, and I cannot stop thinking about what they may still be doing. Maybe Saber would leave me for Rin? I never doubted her love and I still do not, but… still. I am not really sure what to feel right now, besides pain.
Then, I feel a warm hand on my shoulder. I try to shake it off, whoever it is, I hope they just leave me alone. I am not going back, definitely not. "Master," I hear Saber's voice behind me, sounding worried. But I cannot bring myself to face her, not after what I have seen her do with Rin. Even though she did not initiate it, it was bad enough.
"Ritsuka!" She still tries to reach me, but to no avail. Just go to Rin and be happy, I think. But deep inside, I do not want her to leave. Then, she wraps her arms around me from behind. We do not talk for quite a while and stay just like this, up until my eyes seem to have run out of tears. She would not do this if she preferred Rin over me, right? Why am I so insecure all of a sudden?!
"I'm sorry," Saber says, her voice breaking. Is she close to tears herself? "I should've seen you were uncomfortable with this. Really… I'm sorry."
"I should have said something," I sob. I must sound really pathetic. "It just happened so fast and hurt so much and I just feel like doing something really violent to Rin right now." This makes Saber chuckle, which in turn angers me.
"It's nice to see that even you can get jealous, Ritsuka." So that is what I am, huh?
… So, this is how Saber felt, when Rin kissed me? Ouch. Or even whenever I mentioned her, possibly?
"Why did you never run off, crying like a baby?" I always thought Saber was overreacting, but now that I have been in a similar position… I feel like she has so much patience and self-control. This does not suit the "Knight of Treachery".
"Ah, well," Saber says, scratching her cheek. "Running away is like losing, not really my thing, I suppose." But this cannot be all there is to it, right?
"And why did you not jump on Rin? Or… did you, just now?" Saber seems offended at my question.
"Of course, I didn't! She started crying and ran off to her room as soon as you left. She kept mumbling 'sorry', I think. I tried not to freak out because I… care about you. I know that acting on hurt emotions won't end up nicely." Saber has such a distant, sad look in her eyes.
"You regret your past? Your rebellion?" Saber shrugs.
"I'm not sure, sometimes. But I know it ended badly for everyone involved, and even uninvolved people. I can't help the past but I don't want to repeat that."
"It was a mistake?"
"… I guess you could say so."
"Would you ever admit it to your father?" Saber's eyes fill with hatred for a second, but she manages to swallow that, somehow.
"Never. She got what she deserved, whatever she cared about in ruins." Somehow, I feel like Saber is not really honest with herself about this.
"Why did you agree to this?" It takes Saber a while to follow my change of topic.
"I didn't want to lose you. No matter what," she says, as if it was nothing.
But to me, those words meant the world. I feel so unbelievably stupid for ever doubting her love or loyalty. She is my knight, after all.
My legs feel too weak, so Saber carries me back to our bed.
I need to talk to Rin tomorrow…