"Good boy~"
"Now hold still Nicklaus~, or there'll be no reward…"
Nicklaus Claus is currently in the middle of his… grooming, and danger is looming.
After 18 months of gradual growth, Nicklaus Claus' authentic Santa beard is now prime for pickings… hale for harvest!
*Snip Snip!* Nursing home lady snaps her scissors a few times in the air to warm up, in preparation for the reaping, all the while whilst the Audience is internally weeping, at the pitiful plight - a shocking sight! - of this poor retiree - and for such a measly fee! - about to be shorn, like a sheep for its wool, except it's his beard - which would leave his chin cool…
Of course, the situation was clearly far more chilling than even Nicklaus' potentially debearded face.
When the Santa Claus clause and beard-harvesting protocols had been first rolled out, even Nursing home lady, initially, had felt that there was perhaps something… strange, you know, a little odd, with the whole arrangement.
But, as is often the case, after enough 'official documentation', and by getting enough people and staff to actually do it, alongside some professionally-promoted propaganda, after a few cycles and well-publicized positive reinforcement for willing participants in the scheme, believe it or not… within the Nursing home community, everyone gradually became increasingly desensitized to the highly suspect nature of the whole, somewhat exploitative setup, and the process had gradually become… a normal part of the Nursing Home routine!!!
Even so. For better or worse, it was at this critical moment.
Nicklaus' beard had been bunched, and perfectly partitioned. The tangles had been tousled out. And now, Nursing home lady's scissors were cresting, as if in slow motion, towards the very first portion…
And of course. It was at this moment.
9696.7km away… a certain Librarian and Voodoo practitioner also known as 'Doris', Pope of the Church of the Seven Deadly Sins, affixes a tuft of hair - and yes, it *was*, of course, the authentic beard hair from a premium Santa Claus costume which had been worn by a certain Dark Rizzard called Hugo, which - yes indeed, esteemed reader, you got it right again!!! 🤭✨- Reverend Eli had mistaken for Hugo's own… - and activated the Voodoo connection…!!!
And it was at this moment.
In a Nursing Home, as the scissors approached, in mid-flight…
That Nicklaus Claus' originally dull, staring, lifeless eyes… suddenly began to glow, and blaze!!! with an unholy Light…!!!!!!!!!!!