*The Church of the Seven Deadly Sins, Post-Christémas Play*
*Top Secret Update for Esteemed Readers' Eyes Only*
Doris - currently reprising her regular role as a strikingly beautiful, elegant, mature-aged librarian...
["But of course...!!!" Several Audience members exclaim even as they roll their eyes - and their powerstones - towards Author 💖✨ As always, Thank you for your contribution! 🤭🌻]
- has just finished up her librarian duties for the day, sweetly seeing off the gaggle of chattering Kindergarten kids and their lovely, nice teacher - Sonya, she believed her name was? Oh, What a kind young woman... 👀✨ - that had accompanied them to borrow some books, and now, at last! The time has come for her to kick off her favourite nighttime past-time - Voodoo practice!
Everyone has different hobbies. Some people joined clubs, exercised, played sports, others grew plants, played games, painted or drew.
But... who knew?!
It just so happened that the nice, relaxing thing that Doris liked to do... was Voodoo ✨.
You see, Doris' hobby - to de-stress and unwind - happened to require a kind... of bind... to certain 'talented' people that would experience Surges, and act upon their Sinful urges...
That's right. Pride, Greed, Lust, Envy, Gluttony, Wrath, and Sloth. Every human being had, to varying degrees, experienced the effect of these "Seven Deadly Sins" on their lives.
But Waste not, want not!
The Veda of Voodoo, as taught in the Sutra of the Seven Deadly Sins, allowed Doris to put all that good ol' human Sinfulness to good use. By means of an Effigy - essentially a voodoo doll - augmented by a Link - also known as a 'Tag' - that came from the "Sinner" in question, Doris would be able to create a cursed connection!
- This was a conduit, which allowed her to gain, via a means that was truly insane, more and more Seven Deadly Sins Power, and which was collected, pretty much, on the hour!!!
[A/N: Do not try at home. This is a fictional novel created for entertainment, and does not advocate for, nor endorse any imitation or replication, of "Voodoo", or any otherwise disturbing or illegal activities! It is strongly recommended to exercise CARE and common sense! -Thanks, from the Management.]
Ironically, she had found from experience that the more 'outwardly holy' someone appeared, then the more pent-up inner vice that they often actually possessed. For example, the higher-ups of many religious groups that outwardly claimed to dedicate their lives to 'Good', did certainly include some pious people, but at the same time, more often than not, as the saying went, the Spirit was willing, but the Flesh, was weak. And as it turned out, the Flesh was, quite often, very, very weak indeed...
This was, of course, due to the Law of Net Positive Zero. For the pretenders and the ascetics, the more they tried to artificially deny their natural nature, then the more the pressure to Sin would escalate and build, like a shaken Koké bottle, until eventually, like a breaking dam, all their pent-up urges to Sin would burst forth in an even more outrageous, unhealthy way than if they were just normal, every day people that did their usual, average share of good and bad things.
This, of course, was not an excuse to avoid aiming for a more Net-Positive lifestyle, nor any condemnation of any particular way of life, but still, the phenomenon and principle remained.
The Pope of the Seven Deadly Sins, Doris, of course understood this principle and phenomenon, and accordingly, had quite the collection of puppets, voodoo dolls, and various effigies which were currently connected to various religious leaders and outwardly 'good' folk, which as usual are left generic and unnamed in order to let the esteemed reader to fill in the blanks according to their own preferences, allowing for a more boutique, customized reading experience...! 🫢✨
Anyway, regardless, for tonight's session at least, this was all beside the... point.
Yes, that's right! As you know by now being a Great Grandmaster Reader of this novel, this was, of course, as usual, literally.
Doris' hands hovered past the assemblage of effigies that represented a long list of priests, vicars, Reverends, Youth group leaders and Elders of various Institutions, as well as her carefully curated catalogue of pins, needles, and various other… dubious spiritual motifs and tools, until she arrived at the latest and greatest addition to the collection - a powerful potential 'Tag' that she had recently received.
Indeed. Her bosom beau, Reverend Eli, had, apparently, painstakingly, ardently tussled with a young man, on the ground, lasting several rounds, before managing to pull out...
-some of his hair, at the climax of the whole creamy affair...!
(Meanwhile, Reverend Eli shuddered at the ignoble insinuations which had come about from Author's, as usual, poor phrasing, but there was nothing he could do!!! - Except to point the esteemed readers back to Chapters 260-268, and Chapter 276 in order to provide a more complete context for the cursed connotations...)
Hugo Heartbreak. Apparently, these... whiskers, this hair, belonged to a man who had Sheer, unadulterated Sinning talent beyond compare...
Not only had he assaulted a baker and a Reverend in broad daylight, in the middle of a Christémas Play...
Not only had he gorged upon and thrust himself face-first into two massive, cream-filled buns and guzzled down and manhandled two huge jugs, filled to bursting with fresh, nutritious milk...
But he had even been dressed up as Santa Claus in the process?!
Not to mention, engaging in a three-way, confetti-of-cream confrontation, that had culminated in, according to her sources, a kabedon of the bashful Baker, and ultimately, leading to him having a hand in... a Giant Cream Pie?!?!?!
Well, well well.
Doris' beady eyes gleamed, and she licked her lips in eagerness, the tuft of 'Hugo's hair' in her hot little hands... Hmm... it was unusually... Pale, almost translucent, but well, whatever. Regardless, one way or another, the Connection would be established...
If all went well, then this could well be the source of a sensational amount of Seven Deadly Sinning, and then! Well, wouldn't they be Winning…! 🤭Why, with this Power, she might be able to return both El [Reverend Eli] and herself to their blissful twenties, and then! Oh! They would get to, finally, live out their dream love life with true happiness a-plenty!
After hastily affixing the wispy hair to a stuffed felt figurine, a 'voodoo doll' that she had prepared earlier, Doris' eyes began to glow with Arcane magic...
And. Around 9696.7 km away... Suddenly, a Link was established!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!