Ezra was still panting, staggering like a zombie after being chased by two mutant rats. His HP stuck at 1. His breathing sounded like he had just run ten marathons.
"I... need... a miracle," he muttered, kicking a small rock in front of him.
Suddenly, from behind the crumbled ruins, appeared a figure in a tattered cloak. The hood covered almost the entire face, only a thin smile visible.
"The Blade of Thousand Deaths awaits... Only for a brave soul," the figure rasped dramatically.
Ezra blinked. "Blade of what now?"
He immediately became suspicious. In this world, the more dramatic the quest offer, the higher the chance it was a death trap.
But with 1 HP and no other choice, Ezra raised his hand.
"Okay, fine. Deal. I'm in."
> [Quest Accepted: Retrieve the Sacred Relics]
***
**The task sounded simple — in theory.**
Collect three sacred relics scattered around the desert.
In practice? A complete nightmare.
The first relic was said to be inside "The Old Serpent's Nest."
Ezra approached a large hole in the ground. As he peeked in, a giant serpent spewed hot air like a broken hair dryer.
"OH SH*T!!"
With ninja reflexes, Ezra threw a small rock to the other side of the hole. The serpent chased after it, giving Ezra a chance to snatch the relic — a small glowing purple stone.
> [Sacred Relic 1/3 obtained]
***
The second relic was located atop the "Jagged Stone Peak."
Ezra had to climb a spiky rock formation that looked like a devil's tooth.
With 1 HP, one misstep meant instant *game over*.
"Please, system, don't glitch while I'm climbing, please," he whispered.
He crawled up, holding his breath. Midway, some loose rocks slipped, almost sending him plummeting down. With veteran gamer reflexes, Ezra managed to cling onto the rock with his teeth.
Finally, he reached the second relic: a shard of blue crystal.
> [Sacred Relic 2/3 obtained]
***
The third relic was hidden in a "Poisoned Well."
Ezra found an old well with dark greenish water bubbling suspiciously.
"In any normal world, this would definitely violate environmental laws," he muttered.
He dipped his fragile wooden staff (his starting weapon) to poke something at the bottom.
Suddenly, a black slime emerged, trying to grab him!
"YAAAAAAH!!!"
With an absurd leap, Ezra snatched the third relic — a rusty ring.
> [Sacred Relic 3/3 obtained]
***
Exhausted and nearly fainting, Ezra dragged himself back to the tattered NPC.
The NPC nodded dramatically.
"You have proven your worth, brave one... Accept the Blade of Thousand Deaths!"
The NPC handed him a glowing object wrapped in dirty cloth.
Ezra unwrapped it with high hopes... and found...
... **A TINY WOODEN SPOON.**
Item description:
> [Broken Wooden Spoon]
> Damage: -1
> Durability: 1/1
Ezra: "..."
Ezra: "...WHAT THE ACTUAL F***?!?!?!"
The NPC laughed, a glitchy, broken-record kind of laugh.
In a flash, the NPC vanished into a burst of blue glitches.
> [Hidden Achievement Unlocked: You Got Scammed LOL]
> Reward: Permanent +0.1 Luck
Ezra gripped the spoon, trembling.
"...I hate this world."
***
**Deadpan, Ezra walked away, grumbling to himself.**
But not far ahead, his UI started glitching badly.
> [Unauthorized Access Detected...]
> [Hidden Path Unlocked...]
The ground beneath his feet trembled. Before him, the sand parted, revealing a glowing blue glitchy hole.
Ezra stared at the pit.
"...Why do I have such a bad feeling about this?"
With a heavy sigh, he stepped forward — and the world changed again.