| Rio POV |
First Xenolite's easy to find. Just follow the trail of scorched trees, shattered boulders, and Pokémon acting like they just drank twelve gallons of espresso and hate everything.
One quick aura burst later, the local wildlife is reconsidering its life choices.
[+ Quest Progress: 1 / ???]
Two more chunks are lodged in a dried riverbed. More swarmers. More punching. Same process:
1. Dodge teeth.
2. Smack hard enough to send something airborne.
3. Kick it before it lands, because style points matter.
By the fourth Xenolite, I'm getting really good at this. Too good. Like "the system might nerf me" good.
That's when I hear them.
Two voices. Whiny. Dramatic. Painfully familiar.
"…and I'm telling you, This region is terrible for our hair. Ash, humidity, volcanic fumes—my skin is in open rebellion."
"Oh poor you, is your delicate skin dry from our little trip? If only we'd brought more conditioner…"
I freeze mid-step. Slowly peek over the rock I'm crouched behind.
…
No way.
NO WAY.
''Its Jessie and James!''
By this point I don't care about staying hidden, I jump out from behind the crumbling wall I was peeking from.
"W-watch out there's another one of those glowing freaks! It's... Pink... And talks?''
Okay, ouch, that hurts, but I'll excuse it since it's James.
''Oh right, the entire region is an active biohazard zone, anyways, could you please give me the glowing rocks you have on you?''
I try my best impression of a door to door salesman a out to scam a ninety year old woman out of her entire pension.
Sparkling toothy smile, paws rubbing together excitedly, and even using a bit of fire to enhance the lighting around me.
James actually pauses, digging into his bag. "Well, since you asked so—"
Jessie smacks him upside the head. "James! No! This is clearly some kind of scam!"
Meowth narrows his eyes. "Yeah, ya think we're stupid?"
"Yes," I say without missing a beat.
They all gasp like I just slapped a baby Togepi.
"That's it!" Jessie points at me like she's serving a warrant. "Prepare for trouble!"
"And make it double—ow!" James yelps as a Volcanic Ashfly smacks him right in the face mid-pose.
I sigh. "Look, I don't have time for the full speech, I've got about a dozen more of these Xenolite things to—"
Wobbuffet pops out with his usual "Wobba!" salute, which I'm now convinced is his way of saying "you're not leaving this scene without nonsense."
"Okay so I don't usually do this," I say, cracking my knuckles. "But I'll give you a heads up since I like you, you don't stand a chance."
Jessie bristles immediately. "Oh-ho, is that so?!"
James adjusts his jacket like we're about to have a gentleman's duel instead of a back-alley brawl in a biohazard wasteland. "You underestimate us, mysterious… uh… pink thing."
"I'm Rio. Mostly a Lucario, but 100% a badass protagonist," I correct, as long as you ignore the times where I made out with the dirt "And no, I accurately estimate you."
Meowth steps forward, claws out. "Big talk for someone who's about to get Rocketed!"
Somewhere above us, the volcanic ash sky rumbles. It's probably just Groudon rolling over in his sleep, but it feels like even the weather's telling them they're about to lose.
"Alright," I grin, flexing my aura limbs. "Let's dance."
[Boss Battle: Team Rocket?!]
Objective: Acquire Xenolites. Optional: Send opponents blasting off again.
Oh, I have boss introductions now? Need to get Rotom to play some OSTs during my fights to complete the look.
Wobbuffet bounces forward, still grinning like this is all part of his mysterious long game.
"Wobba!"
Jessie points dramatically. "Wobbuffet! Show this… this fuzzy pretender the true might of Team Rocket!"
The air around Wobbuffet warps—pure defensive aura, the kind that makes you question your life choices. I flick a cleave at him experimentally. It bounces back hard enough to slice through a boulder behind me.
"Right, so… counter machine. And you've tanked hits from actual gods. Totally fair."
I just need to mix it up then. He can only counter either physical contact moves, or special ranged moves. Should be easy.
"...Okay. So we're doing that."
I rush forward, aiming to close the distance.
All I need to do is get into a range where he can't react to my attacks.
I'm not trying to nuke something that can definitely shoot my divine arrow back towards me with three times the power.
Wobuffet tries to counter my punch, a white glow covering its body.
But the hit never comes.
I stop before I make contact, an inch away from touching the barrier.
Loking up slowly, I offer him a friendly smile.
''No hard feelings.''
My cursed energy expands outwards, wrapping wobuffet's own shadows around it.
''Really, I would rather not to do this either, so... Blame your luck. And enjoy your flight.''
''WOOBUFFEEEEEeeeee...''
I watch in amusement as Wobuffet disappears into the horizon, thrown so hard he became a star in the distance.
''So,'' I turn towards the infamous rocket trio. ''Who wants to go second?''
''uh... Can we talk about this?''
Oh you sweet summer child. Team Rocket will be blasting off again. Wether you want to or not.
''Sure, we can talk. Let's talk about which of you is going second. How about that?''
''MEOTH THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!''x2
''M-me?! What did I do?! I'm just a silly Meowth! C'mon man, as a fellow talking Pokémon we have to stick together!''
''You traitor! Weren't you just talking about how annoying that Lucario is? That he won't even be able to beat Wobuffet let alone you?!''
Oh damn, James is about to tear him apart.
''I did no such thing! Do not slander me you slick blue haired Ratata! Plus, it was you who suggested that he would fetch a high price if we caught him. If anything he should send you to the moon first!''
Eh, ignoring the casual slavery, Pokeballs don't even work on me, May almost had a heart attack when she thought all of hers were fake. They cost quite a lot y'know?
''Can you two idiots shut up for a minutes? All this arguing is getting us nowhere!''
''Oh? And what are you going to do about it? Do us a favour, pretend to be a tree and leave while the men are talking!''
''Oh funny, who thought you that one? Professor oak?''
Did they... Forget about me...
''Agh! Can you two stop arguing for once in your lives?! We don't have the time for this!''
Neither do I Meowth... Neither do I...
''Welp, I'll be taking this and be on my way...''
[+ Quest Progress: 24 / ???]
I doubt they heard me, but I've already nabbed their bag, hopefully they won't get eaten by whatever monster their screaming attracts.
Truly. You should never meet your heroes...
(To be continued)
MC: My childhood is ruined.
Aww, here's a photo to cheer you up. (IMG)
MC: (⸝⸝⸝O﹏ O⸝⸝⸝)
We were all there once.