Chapter 27: Akos Live on TV (And the Studio Will Never Be the Same)
It started with a phone call on a Wednesday morning.
Unknown number. I thought it was MTN again offering me free minutes if I'd just sacrifice my soul.
But no — this time, it was GH One TV.
"Good morning, please. We're inviting Madam Akosua Badu to our show 'Morning Vibes' to talk about her viral videos. Ghana wants more!"
I froze like cold kenkey.
"You want her… on live TV?"
"Yes. She's hilarious. Real. Authentic. Just tell her to wear something colourful."
I made the biggest mistake of my week:
I told her immediately.
Auntie Akos screamed like she just won a visa lottery.
She began preparing outfits like a Grammy nominee.
At one point she wore a full kente wrapper and said:
"Do I look like a woman with spiritual insight?"
"Yes, Auntie. You also look like you're about to host a traditional wedding."
On Friday morning, we arrived at the station.
Producers greeted us with wide eyes and cautious smiles. They looked at her like, "She's small… but she looks like she could fight a camera."
On air, the host said:
"Ladies and gentlemen, with us today is the viral sensation, Auntie Akosua Badu!"
She waved like a queen. Then fixed her headwrap live on TV. Then pointed at the camera and said:
"Young people of Ghana, hear me now. Soup is life. If your soup is confused, your destiny is confused."
Audience: silent. Then — thunderous laughter.
She went on:
"I don't use measuring spoons. I use the Holy Spirit. He tells me when salt is enough."
"My apron is older than some of you. It's seen heartbreak, burnt rice, and stolen meat."
"If you can't pound fufu, don't propose marriage. You're not ready."
The TV host was crying. The cameraman shook so much the camera tilted. I watched from backstage thinking: this woman is national property now.
After the show, people were begging for selfies. One guy even shouted:
"Madam Akos for Parliament!"
She winked and said:
"Only if I can cook in Parliament too. That chamber needs soup."
End of Chapter 27