Chapter 182: My Plunger Has a Vibration Function
"How is that even possible!?"
"How did he do that!?"
"An apprentice crafting a magical artifact? I must be dreaming."
"..."
While the other mages stood in utter disbelief, Allen completed the very first magical artifact of his life.
"Ta-da... The Silence Staff is born!"
Allen held up a toilet plunger, clearly satisfied with his masterpiece.
Just from the name alone, one could guess its function—it was a weapon that could shut people up.
Back at the training grounds, Allen proudly showed off his artifact.
Everyone stared blankly at the plunger-shaped weapon, completely baffled.
Fortunately, in this era, flushing toilets didn't exist, so nobody understood what a plunger was. Otherwise, they'd be keeping their distance.
Agatha, unable to suppress her sharp tongue, quipped, "So you made a weird little hammer? Planning to beat people to death like a warrior?"
"My Silence Staff is actually really powerful," Allen said with a cheeky grin. "Wanna test it out?"
"If I win, I don't have to be your mount anymore," Agatha proposed.
"No problem at all," Allen agreed readily, eager to test out his new weapon's abilities.
"Hold it right there!"
The white-haired mage stepped in. "Let me cast a protective spell on you both. Whoever's runes disappear first loses."
Although he claimed it was for safety, in truth, he was worried about Allen getting hurt.
After all, Allen was the designated future Sorcerer Supreme.
And Agatha's bow was no joke—one misstep, and the consequences could be fatal.
"Hurry up, old man," Allen flicked his hair with flair. "Don't interrupt my mount-training session."
Well, everyone had already seen Agatha serving as Allen's mount. It was clearly consensual, so no one felt the need to interfere.
Besides, those who'd dealt with Agatha before knew she often relied on her privileged background as a second-generation mage, and tended to be overbearing and sharp-tongued. Most were more than happy to see her get knocked down a peg.
The white-haired mage cast the protective spell on both of them, covering their bodies in glowing runes.
The crowd retreated to the edge of the training field, eagerly awaiting the clash between the two.
Of course, most believed Agatha had the upper hand—after all, she had been exposed to magic since childhood and started way ahead of other apprentices.
"Mount, I'll let you call the start."
Allen waved his plunger around, boasting, "This artifact is terrifyingly powerful—even I find it hard to look at directly."
"Start!"
Agatha didn't wait. She struck first, catching him off guard.
Even before she finished speaking, she pulled back her bowstring.
A glowing golden arrow shot through the air.
Pa—
Allen casually swatted the arrow away with his plunger, obliterating it.
With all three of his professions maxed out, his physical abilities were thirty-six times that of a normal person. Tracking the arrow's path was easy, and he fended off the attack effortlessly.
"You..."
Agatha's eyes widened in disbelief. She hadn't expected her attack to be neutralized so easily.
This proved that Allen could defeat her using brute strength alone.
But this was Kamar-Taj, the so-called holy land of mages—physical strength wasn't held in high regard here.
She fired again, unleashing a barrage of golden arrows like a shimmering thread.
Allen didn't dodge. He simply raised a hand and conjured a portal, which swallowed all the incoming arrows.
"He's using the portal like that!?"
"He doesn't even need a Sling Ring. I can't imagine how terrifying his talent is."
"I'm starting to think Allen actually has the upper hand now."
"..."
The other apprentices began murmuring in awe, each of them having learned something new from watching.
The white-haired mage nodded in satisfaction, realizing that Allen had an innate grasp of magic without needing instruction.
The same spell could produce vastly different effects depending on who cast it.
"Portals aren't just for defense—they can also be used offensively."
As he spoke, Allen conjured another portal beside him, this one reversed.
The golden arrows shot out from it, passing right by Agatha.
He had clearly done it on purpose.
Allen wasn't trying to kill her—he just wanted to show off.
Damn it. And he actually pulled it off.
The onlookers were visibly impressed.
Achieving that level of control didn't happen overnight.
To them, portals were just for moving things.
"So this is the gap between a genius and the rest of us."
"Don't even say it—I already feel like a complete failure."
"He doesn't even train! He just sits around meditating, muttering about cultivating immortality."
"Wait, what is cultivating immortality, anyway? I want to do it too."
"..."
Comparisons are truly infuriating.
And to be beaten by a lunatic—there were no words for the frustration.
Agatha rolled her eyes and decided not to attack anymore. She stayed rooted in place, glaring at Allen, frustrated. "Let's see how you use your portal against me now."
"Well well, you really are a magical girl—seeing right through my weakness."
The next second, Allen's face twisted into a wicked, smug smile. "But what if I just drop a portal right on your head?"
A portal materialized directly above Agatha.
Crap!
By the time she realized it, it was too late.
The portal dropped, engulfing her head.
She saw Allen up close, holding the plunger with a devilish grin as he slammed it down onto her face.
Pop—
Suddenly everything went dark. Agatha felt something suctioned tightly to her face. She reached up and grabbed the plunger's handle, trying to pull it off with all her strength.
But it was as if it had fused with her face—no matter how hard she pulled, it wouldn't budge. The painful tugging brought tears to her eyes, and a growing sense of suffocation set in.
At that moment, Allen's smug voice rang in her ears, explaining the finer points of portal mechanics.
"Did anyone notice? I didn't close the portal—I moved it away. If I had just shut it, she'd be missing a head. There are so many creative ways to use it. I'll demo more when I have time. But for now, let me introduce my Silence Staff—crafted entirely by hand. Once it sticks, you can't say a word. You've all seen that effect now, so I won't repeat myself. What I do want to highlight is the vibration feature—it's incredibly practical and, frankly, the perfect choice for some... quality alone time."
It vibrates!
Agatha could feel the vibrations coursing through the handle. A deep sense of dread welled up inside her.
Bzzz... Bzzz... Bzzz...
She couldn't hold the handle still—her hands trembled with it. As the frequency intensified, her brain turned to mush. She completely lost the ability to think.
With the plunger still suctioned to her face, her entire body started twitching uncontrollably.
Thud...
Within minutes, she collapsed, unable to hold out any longer.
"You're the first to fall to the Silence Staff. Consider it an honor."
As he spoke, Allen planted a foot on her forehead and yanked the plunger free with both hands.
Pop!
The plunger came off with a satisfying sound, leaving behind a bright red ring around Agatha's face—an imprint from the intense suction.
Her eyes rolled back, and a trail of drool dripped from the corner of her mouth. She looked completely wrecked.
Centuries later, when flushing toilets became widespread, just remembering the Silence Staff would leave her traumatized.
Allen looked pleased. "Looks like you did enjoy it."