Time passed—not quickly, not slowly, but with the steady rhythm of something earned.
Expeditions came and went. Some long, others short. Titans were sighted, fought, studied. And each time they returned, Merlin gave his reports to Erwin in that calm, precise voice that made the impossible sound routine.
No casualties. Not once.
Each report was clean, factual—and quietly impossible.
Erwin never said as much, but the weight of his gaze after each mission lingered like the press of storm-heavy skies.
Hange, on the other hand, practically lived in Merlin's orbit when they weren't working. They'd drag him from his squad between drills, grilling him about theory, testing spell reactions to Titan proximity, even trying to see if he could "see" the difference between normal and abnormal Titans with his eyes alone.
(He could and his instincts hadn't failed them yet.)
Moblit despaired. Merlin smiled. He liked it.
The squad grew tighter too. Petra hummed while brushing her gear. Eld and Gunther argued over patrol paths. Oluo still postured, but now, when Merlin smiled at him, he only scowled for half a second before muttering "shut up, pretty-boy" under his breath with something almost like fondness.
Sometimes, they joked with him. Other times, they leaned on him. Merlin learned how to fight in unison—not just beside others, but with them. He became a constant, even when he still stood out like something carved from myths.
And then there were the evenings.
Levi's office became something of a second home.
Not officially, of course. But sometimes, Merlin arrived with tea before Levi could even notice him missing. Sometimes Levi spoke, most times not. Occasionally, Merlin stayed when Erwin ordered him to sleep (at least once a week), curled up on the couch while Levi worked through the last of his reports. Those nights, the silence between them was soft—not strained.
And lately, in the last couple of months… their eyes lingered. Not for long and not obvious, but just enough for Merlin's breath to catch or for Levi to glance away, his ears just slightly red as he muttered something about dust on the windowsill.
Merlin didn't push, as he liked this rhythm. The quiet knowing and slow build of something more. He wasn't even sure when it had shifted.
It hadn't been a grand gesture. No sweeping declaration, no dramatic pull into arms. Just… little things. Subtle things. Not only the way Levi looked at him longer now, even when he thought Merlin didn't notice. But the way his fingers would brush Merlin's shoulder under the pretense of adjustment—lingering just a second too long. The way his voice softened at night, when it was just the two of them and the world outside could fade.
It wasn't like Merlin hadn't always been affectionate. Even the original Merlin—aloof and tangled in prophecy—had a habit of teasing, of standing just a little too close, of smiling in ways that made people forget the weight of his eyes. That detachment, that deliberate distance, had always been a choice.
But this Merlin? The Merlin he was was different, as he had no prophecy binding him, no Avalon to retreat into. He could feel things if he wanted. He could indulge.
And he wanted to. With Levi, especially.
There was something in the man that drew him in—not just his strength or precision or that raw, quiet presence he carried like an unspoken threat. It was the discipline masking care. The exhaustion hiding gentleness. The way he ruffled Merlin's hair like he didn't realize what it meant. Like he didn't know that each little touch left ripples Merlin carried with him into the night.
It made Merlin ache.
But Levi was careful. Distant, still. And Merlin understood that, too.
He wasn't blind to his own nature. Not just what he was, but how he acted. He was soft in a world made of steel. He smiled too easily and touched without thinking. People saw him as something strange, something other—sometimes whimsical, sometimes threatening. Always too much.
And with Levi… Merlin didn't want to be too much.
It was a ridiculous fear; he knew. He could summon illusions and bend light to will, speak languages long dead, and see through veils of fate—but the thought of pushing Levi too hard, of breaking that gentle tension they'd grown into, made his chest tighten in ways no spell could ease.
So he tempered himself and let his hand linger on Levi's arm only for a second, instead of two. When he leaned in to whisper a joke, he didn't brush his cheek close.
He hugged Petra and Eld with ease, laughed with Oluo and tousled Gunther's hair—but he never hugged Levi. Not yet. Mostly because Levi still looked at him like Merlin was a storm he couldn't predict.
And Merlin… Merlin didn't want to be the storm this time. He wanted to be the quiet between them. The calm after.
Something worth staying for.
And if that meant going slowly—if that meant waiting for Levi's walls to lower one inch at a time—then he would wait. Because for the first time in his long, tangled existence, he wasn't waiting for destiny to unfold.
He was just waiting for someone.
It was a kind of peace he hadn't expected when he first woke in this strange world. A steady heartbeat in the middle of a battlefield.
It wouldn't last. He knew that.
But for now?
He treasured every second of it.
.
The steam from the tea curled like smoke between them, soft and quiet. Levi sipped his cup in silence, seated in his usual chair near the cracked-open window. Merlin, lounging with one leg tucked beneath him on the opposite end of the small table, watched the dusk outside bleed into night.
"Erwin's gone to Trost today," Levi said after a long stretch of silence.
Merlin hummed, twirling his teacup between his fingers. "Recruiting the next wave?"
Levi nodded. "From the 104th Cadet Corps. Says there's some talent there."
Merlin leaned back against the arm of his chair, expression thoughtful. "It's strange to think it's been a year already."
Levi's brow lifted slightly.
"A year since I joined the Survey Corps," Merlin clarified, his voice soft. "And almost five years since I woke up and stumbled into this world wearing a name too old for the dirt under my boots."
"You made it fit," Levi said, deadpan.
Merlin chuckled, tilting his head. "Did I? I was the only new recruit last year, remember? Which means once Erwin drags someone back from Trost, I won't be the newest anymore."
"Tch," Levi muttered. "If there are new ones."
"With the lack of causalities lately?" Merlin arched a brow. "Are you doubting your Commander?"
"I'm saying no one's ever stupid enough to want to die like we do."
Merlin grinned. "And yet, here I am."
Levi didn't answer. Just looked at him for a moment—longer than necessary, really. The dim light caught in Merlin's pale hair, and for a second, something unspoken passed between them.
Then Levi leaned forward and ruffled his hair. It was gentle. Familiar. Practiced by now. But Merlin still froze, just a little, breath catching in his throat.
"Will I be still your favorite recruit?" he asked, smiling into the touch.
Levi's mouth twitched like he might smile, but didn't. His hand lingered a second longer before pulling back. "You were the only one of your batch."
"That makes me special, doesn't it?"
"Or unlucky."
The silence that followed wasn't uncomfortable. It hung between them like soft fabric—folded, intimate, and worn in. Then Levi cleared his throat. "Get to sleep. Tomorrow's another expedition."
Merlin raised his cup in a lazy mock salute. "Aye, Captain."
He slid down from the chair and crossed to the couch, where the worn blanket Levi always left was already folded over the edge. Merlin lay down, already on his sleeping clothes as he pulled it over his body with practiced ease, one arm curled under his head.
Levi stood to rinse the cups, but Merlin's voice drifted toward him as he did.
"Good night, Levi."
Levi paused for a beat, back turned. Then, just loud enough to be heard, "Night, Merlin."
It was quiet after that.
The kind of quiet that only existed between people who understood each other. Merlin closed his eyes, letting it settle over him like the last line of a lullaby. He didn't know if he would dream that night. He only knew that, if he did, the silence Levi left behind would carry him through.
.
The dream came like smoke.
Flickering shapes. Screams. Fire curling through stone. The Wall—Trost—cracking like glass under the weight of something monstrous. People scattering. Blood on rooftops. Lightning splitting the sky. And then—A boy with dark hair and wild eyes. Rage and hope twisted into a single flame.
"Eren," Merlin gasped in the dream, reaching toward the chaos.
He woke with a sharp inhale and a name on his lips, hands trembling, chest rising fast.
"Bad one?" Levi's voice was low, but sharp with concern. He stood near the couch, already dressed for the expedition, with his arms crossed and eyes narrowed.
Merlin blinked, grounding himself in the dim light of the office. The scent of tea still lingered faintly. The world hadn't ended. Not yet.
He rubbed a hand over his face, exhaling shakily.
Levi took a step closer, something weird in his tone that Merlin was too tired to attempt to read, as he said, "You said a name."
Merlin looked up, throat dry. "Did I?"
"Eren," Levi said evenly. "Sounded important."
Merlin frowned, brows furrowed. "I… I don't know him. Not yet. But he's important. I know he is."
Levi hummed low in his throat, thoughtful. "Doesn't sound familiar, so it could be one of the new cadets—from the 104th."
Merlin nodded slowly, trying to calm the pounding in his chest.
Levi studied him. "Was there more?"
Merlin hesitated. Then, voice soft, "It looked like Shiganshina. I couldn't tell when. But soon, I think."
For a beat, Levi didn't speak. Then he moved again—closer this time—and ruffled Merlin's hair, like yesterday, like he did on mornings like these, after Merlin had a rough dream. As if grounding him helped ground Levi too.
"Then don't worry about it yet," Levi said, quiet but firm. "We've got an expedition today. I need you alert. No more gloomy dream-staring."
Merlin let out a shaky laugh, trying to find his usual smile. "Yes, sir…"
But then he reached up. Not playfully or teasing. He took Levi's hand—the one still tangled in his hair—and pressed it gently against his cheek.
Levi stilled.
Merlin closed his eyes, breathing slowly as he curled into the warmth of the touch like it was the only thing keeping him here at this moment. He wasn't trembling anymore, but something inside him still quivered from the images.
So he held the hand there, grounding himself in the strength of Levi's calloused fingers and steady presence.
Levi didn't pull away. Instead, after a moment, his thumb brushed across Merlin's cheekbone—slow. Gentle. His fingers traced along his jaw, then brushed across the corner of his lips.
Merlin's eyes fluttered open.
Levi was staring at him. Not confused, but quiet. And there. His pupils were slightly dilated, his breath carefully controlled, like he wasn't sure if he should speak or move. Like something in him had shifted.
Merlin smiled softly. Then he leaned forward, just enough to press a kiss to the center of Levi's palm. It was nothing more than a breath of warmth. But Levi's hand twitched slightly. His gaze didn't waver.
Merlin opened his mouth to say something—
Knock knock knock.
"Captain Levi?" Oluo's muffled voice came from the other side of the door. "Everyone's ready to go. Hange's calling."
Levi's hand pulled back, and the moment snapped like a thread.
Merlin blinked, face still soft, unreadable, as Levi straightened, expression folding into something more familiar—tight. Controlled. Only the faintest flush along the edge of his ears gave anything away.
"I'll be there in a minute," he called back.
There was a pause, then retreating steps.
Neither of them spoke.
Merlin stood slowly, brushing his hair back into place. Levi didn't stop him. Didn't speak. But when Merlin passed him to grab his clothes from near the door, he didn't look back, either.
He was preparing himself. He knew today will be difficult, so he wanted to be bold for once. Today was an opportunity as he usually awoke before Levi came from his quarters to his office, already dressed and prepared for Levi. So he changed in front of Levi, like it was a normal thing for him to do. He did so quickly, but with enough seduction in his movements to get a reaction.
.
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I'm alive!!!
And tired af
For a couple of weeks I've been doing late shifts and those are tiring. Also, it's summer here and I hate this season because I'm more sweat than person. Luckily, I'll have a vacation in two weeks, so let's hope I've better shifts after that T.T
(Most of my close family is going to return to our Mother Country so I've been helping for the preparations that didn't help with the busy period. My mom is going in a couple days and two of my sisters will go in a couple of weeks)
Anyway, sorry.
Two chapters for u
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Also, if you want to support me and read chapters ahead, go to my p@treon: JorieDS