Liv couldn't sleep that night, she tried all several means to do that but just couldn't.
The conversation she had with Ryan was still running through in her mind — the way he spoke, the way his voice had lowered with sincerity, the warmth of his hands on her shoulder kept running through in her mind like a scratched record she couldn't switch off.There had been something sincere in the way he said "we'll figure it out". A quiet kind of promise, not grand, sweeping but honest. And that scared her more than any cold silence could.
Right in the safety of her temporary room— still decorated with traces of Emily, it was a reminder to her that she was just a placeholder and nothing more. Liv sat up in bed and stared at the ceiling, painting was soft with lines across the floor. Everything felt still, almost too still.
She could hear the ticking of the clock placed in her room. Could feel her own heartbeat trying to convince her that she was fine, when she wasn't. But the truth sat heavy in her cheast, she was starting to care and that was dangerous of her to do.
The next morning brought no clearness— only more pretend.
She was dressed carefully, choosing a soft black blouse and grey slacks,her hair pinned back effortlessly, though it had taken her back fifteen minutes to get right. She didn't know why she cared about how she looked when she's around Ryan. It wasn't like he was looking for love in this marriage. Yet, some part of her wanted to meet up to his taste, to hold her ground.
Downstairs, the scent of strong black coffee went through her nose before anything else. Ryan was already in kitchen, sleeve rolled up, leaning over his laptop, guess he was busy. A half-eaten piece of toast sat forgotten beside his mug.
"Morning", she said softly, unsure of why her voice dipped low.
He looked up at her, blinking like he just realized someone else also lived here. "Morning", he replied, hus voice lower than usual.
They stood in the quiet hums of the kitchen, if a single cricket court pass they would here but that can't happen can it, sunlight streaming through the windows, and for a moment, it almost felt… normal.
"I made extra coffee", Ryan added, nodding towards the French press.
"Thanks," Liv said, moving to pour herself a cup.
As she reached for a mug, their hands brushed. Just a second, just a touch but it was more than enough to make her glance at him, fully enough. He didn't pull away immediately either which made her nervous. His gaze dropped to her hand before he returned his attention to his screen, the spell broken their gaze unaligned.
"We have lunch with the Martin's today", he said, matter of fact. "Family friends, investors will be there".
"Of course we do," she murmured, sipping the coffee like it could keep her from drowning.
The Martin's were warm people. All charm, wealthy and polite curiosity. Liv had met enough powerful families to know how to play her role right. It would be all smiles, nods and make just the right amount of eye contacts
"You two make such a great couple," Mrs Martins said,her eyes crinkling as she smiled across the table. "It's lovely to see a marriage where the couple actually get along quite well."
Liv forced a laugh. "We're still figuring things out between ourselves."
Ryan's hand brushed lightly against hers beneath the table— a warning of a comfort, she couldn't tell.
"Well take this from me," Mr Martin walked in swirling the win in the glass. "Half of this marriage is pretense while the other half is deciding if it's worth continuing the act."
Everyone laughed and drank, but Liv felt the words like blades slashing between her skin and ribs.
Later that night, they were both exhausted and too tired to even start a conversation or simply talk. The car ride back to the house was filled with silence—thick, but not cold. When they reached the estate, Liv slipped out of her heels in the entryway, the tiled floor cold against her toes and feet.
"Long day," Ryan muttered, loosening his tie.
"You could say that again."
Liv lingered by the staircase, unsure whether to return back to her room or say something more. She looked back at him. His expression was tired but softer somehow. Less than stone she could say.
"I meant what I said last night," he said suddenly.
She blinked. "About what?"
"About figuring this out. I'm not great at this …" he guestured with his fingers pointing at both of us,"….relationship stuff. But I don't want to make this harder for you."
Liv's breath caught in her throat. It's wasn't romantic. It wasn't some grand confession. But it was kind. And kinda meant something to her.
"I appreciate that Ryan," she said quietly while trying to hide her blushed face.
They stood like that for a beat— strangers but not quite strangers anymore.
"Goodnight, Liv," Ryan said finally, breaking through the silence before acending up the stairs.
"Goodnight, Ryan," she finally muttered.
But even as she said those words,something inside her stirred or maybe she was just imagining things. A strange ache.not longing,not yet, but maybe a seed of it.
The next few days were quite eventful on the surface. Liv attended charity events,smiled for photos, nodded politely at investors. But inside her and her relationship, something had shifted.
She noticed Ryan more. Not just the way he looked, but the way he tried, quietly without fanfare to make things easier for he. A cup of tea left waiting on the kitchen slabs for her when she came down with a cold. An umbrella held silently over her head when it started to rain. She never thanked him out loud,but she noticed. And she felt it .
One evening, after a particularly exhausting event, Liv sat on the edge of her bed,trying to untangle her necklace from her neck . It had caught on the clasp, hooked to her hair and her fingers were too tired to fight with it and she was starting to get tired.
A knock sounded on the door to her room
"Yeah?" she said.
The door creaked open and Ryan stepped inside the room, tie undone, hair roughed like he had run his hands through it one too many times. "You left this in the car," he said, so I decided to bring them for you,holding out her small evening clutch.
"Oh. Thanks." She reached for it, trying to get it fro him but he hesitated. Which surprised her.
"You okay there?" he asked, his voice unusually gentle and soft .
Liv hesitated, but then she turned slightly. "Can you assist me with this?" She motioned her hand pointing directly to the necklace.
Ryan stepped closer, his breath hitched against her neck as her bent down towards her neck and for a moment, she felt the heat of his presence behind her. He moved carefully, his fingers brushing the nape of her neck as he helped unclasped the delicate chain. She closed her eyes at the touch of his hand on her neck, her breath catching slightly.
"There," he said after unclapsing the necklace . "Got it."
"Thanks." Her voice was quiet but she meant every word.
He lingered, just for a moment too long, before taking a step back. Their eyes met in the mirror.
"You look exhausted," he said.
"Yes, I can feel that."she admitted.
Ryan nodded, then turned to leave the room, but paused at the door. "You know, you don't have to keep pretending when it's just us alone ," he said, not turning his back .
Liv looked at his back, her emotion stirred a little at the man she barely knew but she was starting to see differently. "What if I don't know where the pretending must ends and when the real stuff starts?"
He gave a loud dry chuckle. "Then I guess we are both in the same boat then."
And with that, he left, the door clicking softly shut just behind him.
Liv stared at her reflection for a long time after that. Her bare neck, her tired eyes, the ghost of his fingers still felt warm on her skin. She didn't know where this was going, the o my thing she knew was that the felling between them was starting to be real and the pretend was starting to blur.
"And once it did, there was no turning back." That she knows well.