(Gossip Girl )
•••••
Melanie pov
"She's not worth it, Vaughn."
I remember Jake saying those words to Vaughn about Camila. Oh God, why do those words keep haunting me now that I'm trying to close my eyes to sleep? This is so infuriating. I roll my body to the side, restless. Maybe I should try counting sheep to get it out of my mind.
Jake wouldn't have said something like that if Vaughn had really moved on, right? Jake must have known that Vaughn was still living under the shadow of his ex-girlfriend.
Shît. I should have been aware of the aftereffect of the kiss before I allowed him to kiss me. Now, I'm becoming such an insecure girl.
Because it's too good to be true. I've never felt something like this before. The chemistry between us is real — or at least, I think so.
He's too good to be true, but at the same time too real for me to pretend like he doesn't exist. And too dangerous for my vulnerable heart.
I like him. I really do.
To the point that I'm afraid that everything will be shattered once I enter too deep.
I mean, look at his ex-girlfriend, who is basically a Goddiva. I'm nothing compared to her. Maybe I'm just a distraction to him. Or a rebound.
That sounds so pathetic.
I bury my face in my hands and begin to count sheep.
*****
I'm walking down the corridor of my campus after finishing Fluid Mechanics class, which felt rather tiring because I didn't get enough sleep last night, thanks to Vaughn.
I don't have any more classes this afternoon, so I should iust go back home. But my legs bring me further to another specific place. Again, my body is betraying my mind.
Every step I'm taking brings me closer to the dance club rehearsal room. I don't know what the hell I'm doing. I guess that there's this curiosity kicking inside me. I just want to i know more. I just want to see him.
While I'm walking closer to the door, a girl emerges from it. She pants, her hands slid down to her knees. It looks like she's taking a break from the dance practice. She looks exhausted. Noticing my existence, she looks up at me.
"Hey," she rasps, still catching her breath. She's a cute girl, with tanned skin, big chocolate eyes and curly dark brown hair. "Can I help you?"
I just stood, not knowing what to say. I bite my lower lip, regretting my impulsive decision.
Maybe I shouldn't have come.
The door to the rehearsal room is half opened, and I can't help but peek.
"You know, I didn't expect they would drill me right away," the girl mumbles, cocking her head toward the room. She laughs, shaking
her head as sweats roll down her forehead. "I wasn't prepared for the hard training in my first week of joining the club. But it's really cool."
Oh. So she's a freshman too.
I plaster a slight smile, trying to be polite. "I can see that."
"Are you interested in joining too?" she asks, being so friendly. "I saw you at the booth during the promotion day."
Wow. She remember me. Maybe she noticed me at that time while I was too busy fangirling Camila in her video.
I chuckle. "I'm not that good of a dancer. I was drawn to the video back then."
The girl's eyes widen, and she beams as I talk about Camila. "I know, right?" she exclaims. "Camila is pretty much a star here. She's my role model." She sighs. "Too bad that she left."
Now that startles me. "Left? What do you mean?" She stares at me as if she's amazed from hearing my question. "You didn't know about au the it couple?"
I swallow.
"Girl, you're missing out." She laughs, approaching me closer with her hands on her hips before shaking her head in amusement. "But I guess it's me who spent too much time browsing the college of my dream."
I start to feel impatient, wanting to know more. Luckily, this girl here can pass as the descendant of gossip girl in those TV series.
"She dated the most wanted guy here, who is none other than our football team quarterback," she chatters.
Oh, right. Of course, I know that.
"But then she broke up with him. I heard he was so devastated, because she just left him without a reason," she continues to spill, and that leaves me surprised.
Apparently, Camila broke up with Vaughn and not the other way around.
"But... Why?" the words escape my lips, even when I don't remember moving them.
"No idea, but you know what's more shocking?" The girl shakes her head like she's about to reveal unbelievable information.
I shake my head slowly, signalling that I have no idea.
"Three months after she called it off, she disappeared," the girl says frantically. "Like, literally disappeared. Poof! No news, and suddenly she was gone, like vanishing into thin air." She's so good at making it sounds so gripping that it even sends chills through my body. Maybe she should become a storyteller.
My jaw drops. I'm still trying to process the information in my brain. "What?"
She leans closer and whispers in my ear, "Trust me, the seniors in the club are still talking non stop about this. I heard the guy went batshit crazy, looking for her. But all her good friends here still resent him, thinking it was his fault."
My mind is blank now.
"Come to think of it," she keeps rattling. "Who would have left after two years of hard work, suddenly missing in the third year? I mean, she basically dumped all of her studies here and her future." The girl sighs. "And all of her friends have tried to talk to her family but got nothing. No one knows where she is now."
My head spins as the penny drops. That's why people always watched us when we were in public. That's why I received those glares. It's not because of jealousy, although perhaps some of those girls were jealous. It's because Vaughn and Camila were basically the public's golden couple who had an unfinished story, and suddenly I came into the picture.
"I can't believe you didn't know about the couple." The girl shrugs. "But hey, it's not like you've been here forever." She smiles.
Yeah. Now I feel like I'm living in a cave. Jake must have known about this, even way more accurate and classified than the stuff this girl just threw at me. But then again, I can't talk to Jake. That will be too embarrassing.
While I'm pondering in thought, another girl inside the rehearsal room catches sight of me. She starts to eye me suspiciously, making me want to get out of here immediately. I hope that she's not one of the girls who have seen me hanging out with Vaughn.
"By the way, that's not the introduction I intended to give you about the dance club," the girl says. "Sometimes, I just babble around. Bad habit." She scratches her temple.
Clearly. We don't even have each other's name.
"I'm Taylor." Finally. "I wish you could join the dance club too. We can learn together as newbies." She smirks, stretching her hand to shake mine. "You are?" she asks my name.
I accept the handshake, returning the smile. "Melanie." I want to bite my tongue for exposing myself, but it seems pathetic to lie. The senior inside the room starts to approach us, and I automatically prepare to turn on my heels. "I'm sorry. I gotta go now."
With that said, I gave Taylor an apologetic look and walk away from that place.
*******
So, this is how it feels when you're afraid to fall for someone. It's better to think that he's out of reach. Or maybe because I'm used to watching my brother play around with so many girls that my unconscious mind tells me not to trust any guy that easily.
Now that I've learned a bit about Vaughn's past, I don't know whether I should feel grateful for it or regret it. Grateful for knowing about it before I fall deeper, because there's this possibility that his ex-girlfriend can come back anytime. Or regret it because it ruins all the happy feelings inside me when I think about our moments. What if Camila comes back? They still have an unfinished story. Even though she broke up with him and left him, they still haven't had proper closure.
A week has passed since I found out about those facts from Taylor, and I don't answer any of Vaughn's texts. He must be wondering why I'm acting like a bîtch.
Or he must have known that I'm in big denial.
I sigh, slinging my backpack over my shoulder as the lecturer prepares to leave our Bioenergy class. I exit the lecture hall and am walking along the corridor to catch my next lab session when I saw Vaughn heading in my direction. He strides along with two of his football buddies, laughing and listening to them chattering about something.
I abruptly stop in my track. Just before I turn around, he catches a glimpse of me. Luckily, he collides with a girl, making her books fall to the ground that he has no choice but to help her.
Striding along the hallway to escape him, I curse silently. Why am I becoming like this? Such a coward, I am. Such a fool.
I turn around the corner and hide, slumping against the wall, trying to catch my breath. My heart is beating rapidly.
And that's when I realize it even more.
That I really like him.
*******
"The deal is crazy," Jake says on the phone. I flop myself on the couch in my living room as I listen to him tattling about his work. "I mean, he literally makes billions of dollars in such a short period of time."
I laugh, taking into account how he sounds so excited. Billions of dollars? That doesn't sound strange in the oil industry he's working at.
"You sound happy," I say, smiling.
Jake chuckles. "What can I say? I'm having all the experiences I've been dying to get. Oh, and let me tell you, there's this new girl who also got into the company as an intern like me, and she's... Oh, God."
Now that piques my interest. Jake has never talked about girls to me before. "Oh God what?" I tease.
"At first, she was such a pain in the ass," he mutters, and I find it cute as he grumbles. Who would have thought that a girl can make this notorious playboy fume? "But then, as we work together and the more I get to know her, I realize she's pretty cute. And smart. Really smart. A cute and smart girl like her makes me want to dominate her even more."
"OK. Who is this girl?" I ask. "The one who actually made Jake Spencer say something like that?"
Jake laughs. "Relax. She's just an ordinary girl. And I've only known her for like... Barely a month?"
I roll my eyes. "You like her, Jake." My thoughts fly to this mysterious girl he's talking about. How lucky she is. I'm sure that she likes my brother too, because.. come on, who doesn't? Jake is a great guy, aside from him being a player.
Right. No one is perfect. Maybe that applies to Vaughn too.
"I gotta see and work my magic," he says, and I know that he's smirking, although I can't see him. "But really, with the job, and this new girl I know that he's smirking, although I can't see him. "But really, with the job, and this new girl who piques my curiosity, things are doing great | for me."
I smile. "I'm happy that you're happy."
"Well, I'm happy that you're happy that I'm happy," he jokes, and we laugh out loud.
"What about you, Mels?" he asks. "How's life over there?" I'm thinking for the answer when | he adds, "How's your love life?"
His question startles me. Since when did he ask about my love life?
Usually, he would just say 'Did someone bother you again?' or 'Where is this jackass I need to knock out?"
Wow. What a sudden change. Has he finally realized how much he has contributed to my single-without-a-oyfriend-for-God-knows-how-long life?
I open my mouth to talk about Vaughn, but no sound leaves my throat. Now, I feel guilty that Jake is talking about how he's planning to woe this random girl in his office while I can't even e tell him about kissing with his best friend.
"Nothing much," I lied. "College is great. But you know about the latter. My love life is doomed." I pretend to scoff, playing with my hair.
He laughs. "Don't say that."
"Jake..." I begin, thinking whether I should tell him or not. Maybe I can't tell him about what happened between me and Vaughn, but I can ask him about Camila. I clench my fist, gathering my courage.
But I can't bring myself to do it. What business do I have for asking about Vaughn's relationship with his ex-girlfriend? That's highly suspicious, and Jake may find out that I have a thing for his best friend.
"Hm?" he hums.
"Nothing," I say. "I just miss you." I do really miss him. I want to cry because I miss him so much.
"I miss you more, Mels," he says.
Our call ends not so long after that, and I put my phone on the table. I'm getting up from the couch when my phone beeps. I tilt my head and see a message.
Vaughn: OK, you're definitely ignoring me. I saw you today.
Vaughn: Talk to me. What happened?
I decide to ignore it and head to the kitchen instead.
----
It's 7 PM, and I find myself too lazy to do any of my assignments. My mood is just being uncooperative right now. I settle in the couch, watching TV, but I keep switching the channels because there's nothing interesting to watch.
That's when the doorbell rings. Wondering who it is, I got up and head to the door. When I open it, I'm taken aback. Vaughn stands before me, and my heart thumps hard against my chest.