This sudden emotion caught Ayanami off guard.
"What is this? Why do I have such a strange feeling…"
The girl knelt and sat in the meditation space.
Fingers pressed against the ground.
Countless fragmented memories continued to surface~.
It was a scene she had never seen before—but when the scene of her own death replayed countless times, Ayanami understood.
It turned out she had died N times, and every single time, she had died under Ikogentang's control.
An inexplicable sense of familiarity.
And a fierce hatred in her heart.
The sealed emotion exploded, and her eyes wept.
Although she was a spiritual body.
Nothing could stop her from hating.
Once, she had been an apostle—unimaginably powerful.
She had followed the ancient summons and come to Earth.
In the end, she became someone else's doll.
The body was sealed.
The soul was stripped!
Countless experiments made her suffer unbearably.
At that moment, Ayanami flew up—and her reflection was Lilith's body.
"What the **** should I do?"
The girl was lost.
She didn't know why she didn't want to fuse with Lilith. Because once she did, she would be swallowed by endless rage.
She would cease to be herself.
In the surviving memories.
She had been vaguely influenced by Ikugui's remnant soul.
At this moment, a beam of divine light fell from the sky. Ayanami looked at the light—it was a figure far stronger than her body, countless times over.
A voice from the depths of her soul told her:
If you go to that great figure, you will surely find true peace.
So Ayanami began to fly.
Though her soul weighed her down and she nearly fell many times, she pressed on toward the gods, seeking real redemption and true peace.
Maybe a year. Maybe ten years.
Ayanami did not know how long she had been traveling. There was no sound in the darkness.
Only the enormous divine form illuminated Ayanami like a beacon.
She did not see it—but each time she tried to move forward, the shadow beneath her was weakening. Until at last, she arrived before the gods step by step.
Ayanami finally smiled.
But she had already run out of strength, and her body fell involuntarily.
There was no pain. Instead, her body felt as if it were soaked in a hot spring.
When Ayanami's soul was nourished, she finally woke. She looked up into the palm of the gods above her.
Gazing at that immense form.
Ayanami knelt on the ground devoutly, and said softly: "God, can You help me solve my doubts?"
"What do you wish to ask?"
A gentle yet majestic voice rang in her ears.
Ayanami hesitated for a moment, then said with a tremble: "I know that I am an apostle, and at the same time I can sense Lilith's suffering. If I abandon that part of myself, I will no longer be me.
But I also know that if I do not abandon it, I will be swallowed up by hatred. May I ask the gods—what should I do?"
"Lilith is your predecessor. She possesses only animal nature but no reason. This body, this soul now—it is your own evolved existence.
When you came to the world of meditation, you saw Lilith in the depths of your soul.
Abandon the animal nature and keep the reason.
This is the path for all living things toward wisdom. Though hard, it is worthwhile."
Ayanami understood. She looked down at her body.
Without Lilith—only her own shadow remained.
The hatred was gone.
She had regained her true self. And she could hate… or love… or miss.
A complete soul.
To be precise, the divine power had washed away her animal nature and complemented her soul.
Having come to understand all of this.
Ayanami knelt on the ground and whispered: "Thank You, God, for Your help. Ayanami will never forget this, and I will go to serve You soon."
"Well, go back… you should wake up! As for how to deal with the chief priest, I think you will handle it."
"Yes, God!"
White light blazed before Ayanami.
Then consciousness returned to her body.
The injured skin no longer pained her. The white jade body made Ayanami smile.
She was now a human body.
But it had ten times the power of an apostle.
She could even kill Ikogen Hall.
Yet Ayanami did not do this. Instead, she looked out at the distant starry sky, where many of her own kind dwelled.
"The fruit of wisdom is not so easy to obtain… Forget it. They are just beasts…"
The sky was bright at this hour.
Ayanami packed up her clothes, and vanished from the room.
The next moment, she had already arrived at NERV's base. Lilith's body was completely exhausted.
············Ask for flowers······
Because the soul had departed.
The body no longer had the ability to heal itself.
"It seems I need not do anything…"
Ayanami murmured, then turned and left.
She already had emotions—and naturally, she did not want her body to be treated as an experiment.
When Ayanami appeared again, she was already behind Ikogendo.
"Have you recovered your memory?"
Looking at the fury in Ayanami's eyes, Ikagendo was still somewhat afraid.
The stronger the person, the sharper the perception.
He felt deeply uneasy at this moment.
Like prey standing before a lion.
His Adam's apple surged slowly.
He swallowed a mouthful of saliva.
"Yes. So I need to ask something of you."
"What?"
.0.....
"The emotions that should have been there!"
*Ayanami slammed a punch and struck Ikaki Gendo's glasses.*
There is always a saying: blow your glasses.
Now Ayanami had done it. Not only did she blow out Ikaki Gendo's glasses—she relentlessly beat this man.
Punch after punch.
Fist meeting flesh.
"Using my wife's soul fragments to interfere with my soul—you deserve this punch!"
"This is the sin of cutting my flesh, and I should bear it!"
"Every time you die, you should break a bone!"
Ayanami mercilessly swung her arms. Every time her hands struck, there came the sound of cracking bones.
In this quiet chamber.
Ikage Gendo began a journey through hell.
And yet his heart was still very calm.
He had done such cruel things. He deserved to be beaten. This was what he had coming.
Although he was being beaten.
Ayanami did not take his life.
Thirty minutes later.
Ikigentang lay on the ground, his face covered in bloodstains, and the floor was marked with countless cracks.
Ling Poli wiped the blood from her hand and said coldly: "From today onward, we have settled the two of them. Let's go back and fix the altar—and let me know when it's done!"
"Thanks… cough… thank you for sparing me."
"You should thank the gods, stupid mortal! If you had not been the priest of the gods, I would have killed you just now."
Ayanami gave him a fierce look, then turned and left.
This time, she wanted to go for a walk by the sea.
To relax. For once.
———
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