Chapter :13
(Truth behind pain)
After hearing doctor words I feel bad , not bad but worst . I ..I don't know .it's my fault.
What should I do now?.
Just as I was about to give in to my despair, I heard a faint scream.
"Ahhhhhh"
Wait ..it's strange I think it's damiliad .It was a sound I had heard before, a sound that sent shivers down my spine. It was coming from outside, but no one is in the house except me and maid and she's busy doing work . Then it maybe from the basement.
I rushed out of my study, my heart racing with hope.its coming from downstairs . It was her voice. She was awake. That was good. That was great. Thank god. Nala . Nala you are alive thanks .
I run towards basement door. I rushed downstairs.
I took two stairs at a time, my heart pounding in my chest. as soon as I reach down , my eyes scanning the room frantically for Nala.
And then I saw her. She was sitting up in flor , her eyes wide with fear and confusion. She was alive. She was awake.
But why was she in the floor . Wait her hands .. they are bleeding not bad but ..it's it's the drip she removed it without being careful .
I felt a wave of relief wash over me, followed by a sense of trepidation.
I'm really relief atleast she's alive . She will be okay . Her wound will heal atleast atleast . she's alive .
Some tears threatening to fall down over my cheeks . I hold back . I can't cry . Especially Infront of her . I'm man and most important I'm mortifier .
But she's not looking well her strange expression is ..... She's ...
..
I was the reason I want to go to her but .
What would she say? What would she do?
She may think that I order Harper .
Yeah I did but I never want him to cross the line still it's my fault I should check at her .
I shouldn't let Harper torture her.
I had so many questions,
About everything . About why she didn't spoke what does she have been gone through .
About her scars but I didn't know if I was ready for the answers.
It not the time to think I should ...
I rushed towards Nala, she was on the other side of bed . I can't see her fully . As soon as I reached the other side . I was met with a sight that made my blood run cold.
Then I realized She was on the floor, her body covered in blood, her eyes wild with a mix of pain and desperation. She was hitting herself, her fists clenched and her arms flailing wildly as she cried and screamed at the top of her lungs.
I was so consumed in my thought .
That
I didn't hear her
"Why the hell am I living?" she wailed, her voice cracking with emotion. "What am I doing here? I deserve to die. I have to die."
Her words cut through me like a knife, and I felt a pang of guilt and regret. I had done this to her. I had broken her.
I pushed aside my thoughts and rushed towards her, she's hiring herself. I ask her "Nala calm down" but she didn't listen I try many times but all in vain .
I don't know what to do . How can I stop her and without second thought I grab her hands and holding them tightly to prevent her from hitting herself again. But even as I held her, she didn't stop. She continued to cry and scream, her body shaking with sobs as she struggled against my grip.
I held her tightly, trying to calm her down, but she was beyond consolation. She was hurting, and it was a pain that went far deeper than any physical wound. It was a pain that had been building up for years, a pain that had been Inflicted on her by people like me.
As I looked into her eyes, I saw a depth of suffering that I had never seen before. It was a suffering that was almost animalistic, a suffering that made her want to claw and scratch and hurt herself just to escape the pain.
I felt a wave of shame wash over me as I realized the extent of what I had done to her. I had taken everything from her. I had taken her freedom, her dignity, and her sense of self-worth. And now, I had taken her sanity.
As I held her, trying to calm her down, I knew that I had to make things right. I had to find a way to heal her, to restore her to the person she once was. But as I looked into her eyes, I wondered if it was already too late.
A child .he was screaming. Some gangster torture him hit him with belts, fists .
They also stab him .
He was crying crying so hard . His parents die Infront of him .
He don't know what to do . He keep crying and hitting himself. He wanna die so bad .
The memories of my past flash back .
She's same as me .
I wrapped my arms around Nala, holding her tightly as she continued to cry.
I tried to calm her down, whispering softly in her ear, "sorry . Sorry for everything . I didn't knew that you have gone throught much before and now . It's my fault that I let Harper do that . I'm sorry . Listen I'm sorry . I did bad . It's me who should die not you . You are innocent . You deserve to live . You deserve happiness . I don't know what happened but they are bad . It's in the past now. Its the time for you to be happy . Please calm down . Nala deserve happiness,"
"Nala deserve happiness. Please please . Please" I beg her "please calm down stop crying , stop torturing yourself stop please Nala".
I beg her many times but she was beyond consolation. She cried for what felt like an eternity, her tears drying up only when she had no more left to give.
As I held her, I couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt and regret. I had done this to her. I had broken her. And now, as I looked into her eyes, I saw a depth of pain and suffering that I had never seen before.
It took an hour for her to calm down. She finnaly stop crying and screaming . At first she remain silent then she realizes what happened.
she didn't speak. She simply moved away from me and sit beside the bed on the floor, closing her eyes. I could still see the pain etched on her face, and it was almost too much for me to bear.
I took a step forward and sat down beside her.
"I'm sorry . Sorry for what happened . I ask him to .. " I can't find the words.
"Sorry Nala for everything"
She remain silent .
I talk again .
"For some hours, I became afraid," I said, trying to change the subject and take her mind off her pain.
She remained silent, but I could see her eyes flicker open. "Won't you ask me why I was afraid?" I prompted.
She hesitated for a moment before speaking. "Why were you afraid?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.
I took a deep breath before answering. "Because of worry. I know it's my fault . You are innocent .I thought I would lose you. I thought I would never see you again. I thought that I.. I done something bad .Just for some time, I didn't know what happened to me, but I just felt helpless."
As I spoke, Nala's eyes fell open, and she looked at me with a glimmer of hope. It was the first time I had seen her real self, an innocent girl who had been damaged by the world.
She looked at me with a hint of curiosity, and I could see the pain in her eyes begin to recede.
"It's not your fault . It's mine that I ." She become silent again .
"It's not your fault. I become so desperate for revenge that I forget. I shouldn't have done that . Sorry again".
"It's okay." She says .
I did so bad . She suffer cause eof me and all she say is okay .
I don't know what to say . We remain silent for some minute untill I remember doctor words .
"The scars on her body.."
Yeah scars I don't know if it's the time but I think I should ask her . I should do that .
"Nala , can I ask about something"
I say .
She remain silent .
"It's about the scars" I says .
"Have you seen them" she become worried .
"No, no it's not me well, doctor tell me about them .and ..and then I came to check on you . I saw your hands I pull the sleeves and saw some on your wrist"
She stay still.
At first I thought she wouldn't answer and I'm just interfering but something within me wanna know what happened to her .
"Well, I have gone through much," she said, her voice still barely above a whisper.
I say "I have seen my loved ones die in front of me. That helpless feeling just came out for you. I don't know why, but it's…it's just…"
She look at me , and I could see the tears welling up in her eyes again.
"Sympathy," she said finally.
"No, it's not ... Well I was afraid that you will die like them. I just don't want anyone to die cause of me I know we aren't close and .."
"I was worried"
She cut .
"You don't want anyone to die, so you were worried. But listen, I'm not a thing for someone to worry about. I am made for torture and pain…"
I cut her off, my voice firm. "Hey, listen, no one deserves that. No one is made for torture . No one, even bad people and the devil, they don't deserve to be tortured like that. Without any reason and if someone do then it's a monster "
Nala looked at me, her eyes flashing with anger. "Well, I guess then you should consider yourself a monster, because you are one of them too."
Her words hit me like a bullet, straight to the heart. I felt a pang of guilt and regret, knowing that I had indeed become a monster.
I took a deep breath, trying to compose myself. "Well, listen, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I never wanted that to happen, but some people made me like this, and I hate it too. That I'm a monster."
Nala looked at me, her eyes searching mine. "No one was born a monster," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. "This world, these snakes covered in the body of humans, made them."
Her words were like a punch to the gut, leaving me breathless and reeling. I knew that she was right, that the world was full of monsters, and that we were all just trying to survive.
As I sat there, entranced by the anguish that poured out of Nala's very being, I felt the weight of her words settle upon me like a shroud. The air was heavy with the scent of pain and suffering, and I could feel the very fabric of my soul begin to unravel as I bore witness to the atrocities she had endured.
Her voice, a mere whisper at times, yet thunderous in its impact, shook me to my very core. The words spilled forth from her lips like a torrent of tears, each one a razor-sharp slash to my heart. I felt like I was drowning in the depths of her pain, unable to breathe or escape the crushing weight of her sorrow.
"Tell em .tell me what did those monsters did to you . I wanna know" I ask her .
She spoke of being cast into a living hell by those who were supposed to love and protect her. Seven long, arduous years of unrelenting torment, of being treated like a mere plaything for the twisted desires of those who held her captive. Her words conjured up images of a tiny, fragile bird, its wings beaten and broken, yet still it sang a haunting melody of hope and resilience.
As she spoke of the countless times she had been forced to endure the unendurable, of the moments when her very will to live had been tested to the breaking point, I felt my own wounds reopening, my own pain and guilt rising to the surface like a festering sore. I couldn't bear to look at her, couldn't bear to see the depth of her suffering, yet I was transfixed by her words, unable to look away from the horror and tragedy of her story.
Nala's voice cracked and broke as she spoke of her attempts to escape, of her failed attempts at suicide. She spoke of the man who had announced the fight, of her determination to win and escape, of the glimmer of hope that had sustained her through the darkest of times.
And then she spoke of her freedom, of the moment she finally emerged from the hellhole that had held her captive for so long. But even that moment was tainted by the realization that she was still trapped, still forced to do things she didn't want to do. The weight of her words settled upon me like a physical force, crushing me beneath its unyielding pressure.
As Nala finished speaking, the room fell silent, the only sound the heavy, oppressive silence that hung in the air like a challenge. I felt like I was frozen in time, unable to move or speak, trapped in the horror of her story, unable to escape.
And then, slowly, I looked up at Nala. Her eyes were dry, her face expressionless, yet I could see the pain still lurking beneath the surface, still simmering just below the boil. I felt a wave of shame wash over me, a wave of regret and guilt that threatened to consume me whole.
I had done this to her, or at least, I had contributed to her pain. And now, I didn't know how to make it right. The weight of my own culpability settled upon me like a physical force, crushing me beneath its unyielding pressure.
Her words , her story made me guilt . She have gone through so much yet I have increased her pain more . I have let Harper torture her to her end that she's ready to die .