Cadec had failed miserably to contain his own desire. The kiss with Eugene still had a great effect on him, satiating part of his instinct while making him want more. Even now, as the cold wind and rain fell heavily, he still felt the sweet taste of Eugene on his lips. The flame burning inside him could only burn no more when he saw Lucian watching them from the side door of the ballroom.
"Lucian?"
"What?" Eugene turned quickly, surprised to see Lucian walking towards them.
The younger prince watched the scene from afar, but it was impossible to ignore his presence. There was something in the look of Lucian — a dangerous calm, as if he was analyzing every detail. Cadec knew he couldn't just go out and pretend nothing happened.
Automatically, the alpha held Eugene's wrist and pulled him close, trying to protect him when Lucian finally caught up with them.
"Your Highness..." Eugene looked at him with eyes full of surprise and shame.
Lucian sighed low and turned to the young omega.
"You should get in and warm up, before your brothers start worrying."
"But..."
Lucian touched his shoulder and smiled gently.
"Please. I want to talk to the First Prince. And we know your brothers will make a mess if they see you stew."
Eugene was undecided between listening to him or staying to try to ease the tension. But it was the touch of Cadec to release his wrist that gave him the last push to get out of that heavy rain. Defeated, the omega agreed with his head and ran into the hall, leaving the two brothers alone under the rain.
The Eighth Prince only looked directly at Cadec, moving his head in a simple request for Cadec to follow him. Cadec, with a sense of inevitability, accompanied him to the royal carriage, where they could talk without interruptions or curious ears.
When they got into the carriage, Cadec stood still for a moment, his soggy clothes sticking to his body, as he tried to process what had happened. Finally, he sighed, accepting that the conversation was inevitable.
"You saw, didn't you?"
"Yes" Lucian answered, using a handkerchief to dry his hair. "Be relieved it was me and not Magnus. He certainly wouldn't be as lenient as I am now."
Cadec knew that Lucian was right. Magnus and Jesse were Eugene's older brothers, both known to be fiercely protective. Magnus, in particular, had little tolerance for any threats or disrespect to his family. The case of Count Moutuni, killed by Magnus in a fit of fury, was a grim reminder of what happened to those who dared touch Eugene without permission.
"I guess you don't intend to tell him..."
"That depends" Lucian crossed his arms, leaning forward, eyes shining in a bewildering way. "What do you really want, Cadec? I had already talked to Eugene about him considering getting involved with someone his age, but it seems that I'm the only one bothered by this."
Cadec clenched his fists, still trying to organize the chaotic thoughts surrounding him. He could not deny that the age difference bothered him. But there was something deeper, something he tried desperately to keep under control.
"So you knew his feelings."
"Yeah" Lucian replied calmly, drying the rest of the water that ran from his forehead. "But what I do not know are your feelings. How do you feel about Eugene, Cadec?"
Cadec closed his eyes for a moment, feeling the pressure of the question. He knew there was something darker behind this attraction, something beyond what he could control.
"It's not a matter of desire for him to be younger, Lucian" Cadec murmured, his voice low and loaded with frustration. "I'm not that kind of man."
Lucian stared at him, waiting for more. When Cadec said nothing, he raised an eyebrow.
"If it's not that, then what is it? If this feeling isn't just desire, why are you running away from it?"
Cadec took a deep breath, trying to remain calm. He looked at Lucian and then turned his gaze to his hands, which were drenched with rain.
"I am the First Prince, Lucian. I'm trying to take the throne. Do you know what that means? I don't have the luxury of allowing myself a mistake... of allowing me a weakness. How could I drag Eugene into this?"
"Drag him?" Lucian asked, intrigued. "Or are you just using it as an excuse to avoid what you really feel?"
Cadec clenched his teeth, feeling the instinct roar inside him. He wanted to deny, wanted to fight against the insinuation, but could not. Knew that Lucian was partly right. He was running away, not only for fear of hurting Eugene, but also for fear of losing himself in this desire.
"You know very well that living in the palace is not the best for him" Cadec murmured, more to himself than to Lucian "Elyon is gone, we have already lost other siblings before that. Even my mother was a victim of endless ambition... Do you think it's right to bring him to my side just to satisfy desires?"
Lucian watched him in silence for a moment before leaning forward, his expression softer than before.
"Precisely because I knew this well that I talked with him and questioned about it, but what to expect from a Grimwood?" Lucian paused, his clear eyes fixed on Cadec "He desires you, and like a Grimwood, he will fight to get what he wants."
Those words hit Cadec like a direct blow. He looked at Lucian, his mind spinning in confusion. It was as if suddenly all his sense of duty and sacrifice were being challenged. Eugene loved him, and maybe... Perhaps he was underestimating the strength of that love.
"But how can I bring someone into this chaos?" Cadec muttered, once again trying to fight the tide that pulled him. "How can I allow myself to be vulnerable... allow myself to feel?"
Lucian sighed, leaning back in the carriage seat.
"Maybe that's exactly what you need" he said softly. "If you keep running away from your feelings, you'll end up alone. Eugene knows what he is asking of you, even though this difference of yours is uncomfortable."
"Running away..." Cadec faced his brother, who has changed so much after having married to the point of looking like someone else "Do you consider me a coward, my brother?"
"Who am I to judge you?"
"Precisely because I abandoned you too."
Lucian hesitated and petrified in place. It was a sensitive subject for them, after all Cadec hardly touched on the matter. In that silence covered by the rain, Lucian stared at him seriously until he sighed low seeming to give up something.
"Did you do this of your own volition? You said the other time that I was the one who walked away."
"Neither did I come after you. Immersed myself in my duties as First Prince, I told myself that as long as you were safe, I would have nothing to worry about. In addition, there was another person taking care of you, keeping you company so that you would not feel alone."
The memories were so bitter for Cadec, that they could crack that cold posture he usually had in front of others. Closing his fingers, he squeezed them to the point of trembling.
"Indeed, Raven has been a great support for me over these years. Although I feel slightly guilty for not returning such affection in the same way" Lucian leaned towards him and looked at him seriously "But I have memories of us being close when we were children... and there was someone else with us. A younger boy."
"Arthie." Cadec whispered that name, feeling his chest clench "Yes, the death of Arthie, my younger brother, and our mother was enough to push me into a hell that I will carry for the rest of my life."
The little boy with dark hair and gentle smile. Arthie and Cadec, children of the same mother and the Emperor. Cadec could remember perfectly how much Arthie loved Lucian and ran after him to play, since they were very similar in personality. Even Cassander liked to see them together.
They were half-brothers who got along well, contesting even the nobles who insisted on fomenting gossip full of rivalry between the Consort and the former lovers of the Emperor. Yet Cadec knew that his mother would never do any harm to anyone. She loved the Emperor and wished him happiness when she heard that he would marry someone else. Just like your brother was raised loving Lucian and Cassander as part of his family.
But in the end... the rose was planted in the garden, burying its ashes next to those of its mother.
"Forgive me, Lucian. But I have not yet overcome their death to the point of bringing Eugene to this hell. Nor am I strong enough to ignore this fervor in me."
"He deserves to know your deepest thoughts. But the time is against you two, since you need to get married. And I doubt that adorable mini version of Grimwood will give up his feelings so easily to see you with someone else."
Cadec was silent, feeling the internal tension finally beginning to give way. It was true that he feared what love for Eugene might trigger. He feared what passion, desire and commitment could mean for his quest for the throne. But at the same time, Cadec knew that running away forever was not an option.
"Maybe I underestimated Eugene" admitted Cadec, with a note of resignation in the voice.
Lucian smiled lightly, pleased with the admission. Perhaps, after all, there was hope for the brother.
"If you regret the tragic end that we, royalty, are destined for, then perhaps you need a new horizon for when you sit on top of the world" Lucian said looking at it with a thin smile, which surprised Cadec "Decisions must be made so that we never regret. At least be honest about the person you want to live with until your last breath."
Cadec just nodded, knowing that in a way Lucian was right. Even though the struggle within was far from over, there was something different now — a new spark of acceptance. He was not ready to give in completely, but perhaps he was willing to take the first step.