Chapter 13: Nakamori Ginzo Likes to Transform
Some people are simply not born for business.
Compared to Hikigaya's clumsy level of commercial promotion, his efficiency in upgrading and remodeling the Yorozuya (House of All Trades) was considerably more impressive. The Yorozuya was taking giant strides toward the "Tsukumogami" version he envisioned.
At the very least, it could now be summoned and un-summoned at any time. It could also spontaneously track customers who had a contract with Hikigaya, pulling them in the moment the relevant thought arose in their minds. What was particularly user-friendly was that whenever it did this—or planned to do so—it would always send Hikigaya a "notification text."
Hikigaya, who had been busy "playing" with Gin, decided to end the current job immediately precisely because he received such a "text." After all, at this stage, Gin wasn't very fun to play with yet.
Tugging Ena and Moe along, he rushed excitedly to the front shop of the Yorozuya. He plopped down behind the counter and waited for the shop to pull someone in.
With the sound of a gong, Nakamori Ginzo's figure slowly materialized in the shop.
The Inspector was a bit dazed by what was happening to him. He was wearing pajamas, holding a cup in one hand and a toothbrush in the other. To be fair, Nakamori hadn't had a good night's sleep in days.
Because of the "Small Iron Gong," the distance between him and Kid had closed significantly, but unfortunately, he could never quite make the catch. He was exhausted but kept coming up empty-handed. Consequently, he had taken a day off, deciding to get some proper rest and recover his strength today.
Naturally, while preparing to rinse his mouth and wash his face, out of a habit of doing a mental summary of his recent work, he briefly recalled the "Ghost Gentleman" who had sold him the iron gong. Then, he realized he was no longer at home.
The surroundings were filled with crystal cabinets housing all sorts of strange items. The lighting wasn't great—it was a bit dim. Before his eyes stood two girls and one boy.
One of the two girls looked like an athletic youth, clutching a sword in her arms, yet her demeanor held the air of a prestigious noble lady (the kind he had encountered during police cases). She was currently sizing him up with a curious gaze. As for the other, shorter girl, Nakamori felt there was something strange about her, though he couldn't put his finger on exactly what it was.
However, these two girls likely weren't the owners of this place, as they stood to the left and right, effectively acting as guards for the youth facing him.
By the way, where exactly is this? Nakamori Ginzo thought, completely bewildered.
He wasn't particularly afraid; ever since he'd met a ghost doing a sales pitch, he felt he could face the world with a calm heart, no matter the honor or disgrace. Anyway, nothing could be weirder or more nonsensical than a ghost looking for a human to do product marketing.
On the other hand, Hikigaya blinked and waited for a long time. Seeing that the Yorozuya wasn't giving him any more "information," he couldn't help but feel a bit disappointed.
'Strange, is it really this hard just to get the word out? I wanted to open a niche shop, not a half-dead shop.'
This was entirely different from the "mystical little shop that only exists in rumors with legends of being omnipotent" setting Hikigaya had imagined...
Though, it didn't actually matter much. Thinking carefully, this "Zero Visibility" mode where everything depended on a person's luck was actually quite good. Maybe in several decades or a century, it would become a legend. And if the Hikigaya of that time still had the whim to keep the shop open, it would be a very fun thing indeed.
Having come to terms with this, Hikigaya refocused his attention on Nakamori Ginzo. He stepped out from behind the counter and gave the dazed middle-aged man a friendly smile.
"Customer, are you satisfied with the merchandise from my shop?"
"Uh, your 'shop'?"
Nakamori Ginzo, holding his mouth-rinsing gear, processed the sentence in his head and arrived at an answer he found preposterous. The young man before him was either the Ghost Gentleman himself, or a direct associate like the Ghost Gentleman's boss. Nakamori hoped it was the former; if it were the latter, that would be far too depressing.
Then he heard Hikigaya say to him:
"That's right, it's my own shop. It was a bit rude of me not to trade with you here last time, so I'll give you an extra discount today."
"You really are the Ghost Gentleman?" Nakamori Ginzo felt both absurd and relieved; he was deeply conflicted and contradictory.
"Actually, I'm not some ghost," Hikigaya laughed.
"I'd heard your name a long time ago, so I couldn't resist playing a joke last time."
"Is that so..." Nakamori sighed with emotion. "But young boss, you aren't an ordinary person either, right? The thing you gave me is so miraculous. It turns out magic really does exist in this world."
"It certainly does." Hikigaya took two glasses of whisky mixed with soda from Moe, walked up to Nakamori, and handed him one.
Nakamori froze for a moment, looked at Moe who was standing by with a tray, and after a short hesitation, placed his toothbrush and rinsing cup onto the tray with an embarrassed expression. He then took the glass from Hikigaya and thanked them both.
"Don't mention it. The purpose of this shop is to make customers feel a warmth like springtime." Hikigaya squinted at Nakamori with a smile and began his instigation. "Speaking of which, since you're here, don't you plan to get some new products? We have new stock recently."
"New stock?"
"Correct. For example, 'Transformation Medicine' that lets you change back and forth, or perhaps a 'Why Give Up Treatment' brand anti-theft net, and so on."
"Transformation Medicine?" Nakamori didn't even consider the so-called anti-theft net for a single second—it sounded low-class just by the name.
"Are you interested in that, Customer?" Hikigaya's gaze turned a bit strange because he had just mentioned that on a whim; the thing he actually wanted to push was the net.
"This so-called transformation looks like a type of magic on the surface, but in essence, it is the activity of life force. Thus, an adult can become a child, and a man can become a woman. Expanding the scope, cross-species transformation is also easy. What is truly difficult is turning inanimate matter into a living being—that is the domain of the gods.
Rather than transformation, it's more like the creation of life."
"You have that kind of medicine?" Nakamori was tongue-tied—it sounded incredibly high-end. Wouldn't it be extremely expensive?
At this thought, he took a large gulp of the drink. The amount of soda in his whisky was clearly insufficient; the large gulp immediately gave his throat a refreshing burn. It was only because the product was so tempting that he forgot this wasn't beer.
"I have it, but... Customer, you don't happen to have some 'special' hobby, do you?" Hikigaya asked suspiciously.
What did transforming have to do with catching a son-in-law? Since your legs are short, shouldn't you buy a mount? Don't tell me you want to turn into a girl to pull a honey trap? But your son-in-law wears women's clothes like it's a game; if you turn into a woman and aren't even as pretty as his own drag, that would be awkward.
"I don't! I just thought that if I could transform, I would definitely be able to catch that guy," Nakamori said with a voice full of vigor. Looking at his expression, he seemed to be fantasizing about a badass scenario in his mind.
"Hmm... transforming, right?" Silently labeling Nakamori with a "weird fetish" tag, Hikigaya mourned for a second for his unmarketable electric net and then continued, "How many do you want? Let me explain: one pill only allows for one transformation, and the duration is ten
minutes. During the transformation, all your physiological characteristics will match the object of transformation. In other words, if you turn into an animal, you won't be able to speak. And this process is irreversible."
Hikigaya truly felt it necessary to warn the other party. In case he turned into a mouse and ran into the neighbor's dog, that would be quite a sight. Wouldn't it be a tragedy to be pounced on and killed by a dog at the nine-minute and fifty-nine-second mark?
As for why a dog was catching a mouse... have you ever heard of an "Overtime Dog" (overworked office worker)?
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