There I was. Sniffing her. "Annie," I purred, savoring the scent clinging to her skin, "that smell is very you."
Before she could slink away, I pressed slow, deliberate kisses along her neck. A trail, each one closer to her cheek, her jaw, and obviously, obviously, her lips. Flat palm. Right to my mouth. Denied.
"Brush your teeth."
I blinked, affronted. Excuse me? "Annie. I am a god. I don't have to brush my teeth. I don't have morning breath. I don't have cavities!" I flashed her my most dazzling grin, perfect, divine, flawless. Her eyes narrowed. Dangerous. Calculating. Then she grabbed my face. Ooh-la-la going to kiss me? I puckered in preparation. Then... Wait! Oh hells, she sniffed me!
Nose to lips. Full inhale. Right up in there. I froze. Wide-eyed. Absolute horror. "ANNIE! What in the flaming hells was THAT?!"
She stepped back, cool as a glacier. "Huh. No morning breath."
I gaped, scandalized. My hands flailed in the air. "I cannot believe you just did that!"
She crossed her arms, smug. "And yet, here we are."
Arbor flickered its lights like it was choking back laughter. I clutched my chest like she'd stabbed me through the heart. "I am too offended to kiss you now, Annie! That was rude. Disgusting. A complete violation of my person!"
She tilted her head, calm, mocking. "Oh? But sniffing me like a starving beast is fine?"
I gasped, audibly, dramatically. "That was different! That was appreciation! This, this was a crime!" She turned on her heel and walked away. Just walked. Like she hadn't destroyed me.
"Where are you going?" I called after her, still reeling.
"To get coffee, you insufferable drama queen."
"Oh no, no, no, you don't just walk away after traumatizing me, Annie Cinnamon Bun! You owe me!"
"I owe you nothing."
"Lies! Slander! Betrayal!" She ignored me. Of course. She always ignored me when I was right. Which was always. I hovered behind her like the world's most devastatingly attractive housecat while she pulled out cinnamon, espresso, and other delicious things that promised forgiveness. The scent hit me first, warm cinnamon, sweet coffee cake. I sniffed like a man being resuscitated back to life. She handed me a mug.
One sip-- "Mmmmf." A sinful, obscene sound left me. My eyes rolled back. Gods, it was bliss. I sighed, lounging in the chair like a king finally appeased. "Fine, Annie Streusel. Your coffee might get you halfway to forgiveness."
She sipped her own with a deadpan stare. "Halfway? After all your sulking? You're insufferable."
"And yet, you made me coffee." I wiggled my brows. "What does that say about you?"
She hip-checked me without mercy. "That I have poor judgment."
"And that you love me."
"I hate you."
"Oh, Annie Hot Lips," I purred, "you say the sweetest things." Arbor flickered the lights like a smug parent. Translation: This is your life now. Enjoy.
"You are insufferable," she muttered, cracking an egg. Didn't even look at me. "Breakfast?"
"Fine." I flopped back in my chair, chin in my palm. "But between coffee and breakfast, you are only ninety percent forgiven for the complete and utter disrespect you inflicted upon me."
She didn't even pause. "Ninety percent? What else do I have to do?"
I tapped my chin, smirking. "Beg for my forgiveness. Declare me the most handsome, most powerful, most irresistible being you've ever laid eyes on."
She cracked another egg too hard. A shard of shell dropped into the bowl. She stared at it. Then glared at me. "I'd rather eat this shell."
"Ah! So you admit it. You'd rather suffer than acknowledge my divine magnificence!"
Whisk: activated. She muttered, "Maybe I should have let you starve." I just grinned wider, sipping my coffee like the smug, perfect gremlin I was. Arbor flickered again, thoroughly entertained.