I didn't just arrive. I made an entrance. Loud, late, and utterly impossible to ignore. Trumpets blared. Enchanted things I'd long ago charmed into eternal servitude, blasting through the grand hall until every self-important conversation was drowned out. Confetti burst from nowhere, showering down in gold and violet. Because honestly, what is an entrance without pizzazz?
I strode in with my arms outstretched, a conquering emperor expecting applause."Ahhh, don't get up, don't get up," I called, grinning at their sour faces. "Oh wait… you weren't going to. Rude."
They hated me. Perfect. I counted on it. The room was already boiling before I arrived. Gods bickering, voices overlapping, tension so thick I could have sliced it with one of Aerion's overcompensating swords. And the best part? I hadn't even caused it. That intrigued me. Something's got them rattled. And none of them are subtle when they want something. I drifted toward the dais like a king surveying his pathetic court, lavish, lazy, deliberate. Then the offers began.
"I'll grant you mountains of gold—""I will give you the richest, most fertile lands in all of Exsos—""I can provide information no one else has—"
I blinked. My grin sharpened. Oh, this was priceless. Leisurely, I strolled closer, savoring the spectacle. "Wait, wait, wait," I cut in, waving a hand. "Let me get this straight. You're bribing each other… over a mortal?" I gave a long, low whistle. The desperation in the air was thick enough to choke on. "Desperate times, I see."
Aerion stiffened. Jackpot. "This is no ordinary mortal."
"Obviously," I drawled, rolling my eyes. "How silly of me. Clearly this one insignificant creature is worth bribing other gods for. Gold? Land? Secrets?" I snorted. "Remind me, you do realize you're gods, don't you? What, is the divine portfolio running a little dry? Need a side hustle?"
Ravina bristled. "It's about what's at stake."
I clutched my chest in mock horror. "Oh yes, of course. How silly of me." Then I let the grin creep back, slow and insufferable. "But really. Gold, Aerion? We control wealth. What's next? Buy-one-get-one-free divine blessings? A little punch card, perhaps?"
His jaw twitched. Beautiful. Tucked away for later.
I swung to Ravina. "And you, land? What, are you drawing up a deed? Maybe fence off a cute little plot?" I tsked. "Try harder. At least make it interesting." Her eyes narrowed. Legacy. She always equates land with legacy. She's afraid.
Then Vitaria. "Secrets, though?" I grinned. "Better. Points for effort. But if your secrets were truly worth something, you wouldn't be tossing them out like candy." She didn't flinch. That meant she was holding back. Delicious. She always has the best secrets.
On the outside, I stretched lazily, popping my neck, the picture of bored amusement. On the inside? Every piece was sliding neatly into place. That's the game, then. They want this mortal. None of them know why. Perfect. I'll take them. And I'll be the first to find out what makes them worth bleeding for.
I slipped my hands into my pockets, strolling forward slow, deliberate. "I offer something far more precious." I paused. Let them itch. The faint rustle of robes. A flicker of interest behind their disdain. Good.
"For the next ten years," I said, "I will not commit a single prank against any of you."
The silence was immediate. Delicious. Hook, line, sink them. Confetti still fluttered lazily down around us, as if the universe itself agreed I was fabulous.
"Done," Aerion bit out. His jaw cracked on the word. Ravina exhaled, already imagining a decade of peace. Vitaria's nod was slow, deliberate. Always measuring. Always scheming.
I spread my arms wide. "Well. That was easy. You all really must work on your bargaining skills." I spun on my heel, heading for the exit. "Enjoy the peace while it lasts, darlings."
And just like that, the mortal was mine. Let's see what makes you so special, little mystery. If they want you this badly… then I'll be the one to find out why. Because I'm not just playing their game. I'm rearranging the board.