Gobu Kuang scratched his head, thoroughly baffled.
"Since when did Master Bill's embarrassing stories spread around?
Even the boarfolk know about it."
"Pfft…"
"There was that time he got completely wasted, sobbing and saying he… couldn't perform in that area," the rabbit-woman innkeeper chuckled, nearly laughing out loud.
"Loads of people witnessed it; I'd almost forgotten.
Looks like his chances at picking a consort are slim!"
The reason none of the female beastfolk showed interest in him was now all too clear.
But then—
"Wait, I nearly forgot!" Gobu Kuang quickly corrected himself.
"The Boss also said he'd arrange for Master Bill to get some… donkey kidneys!"
"Yeah, I remember him mentioning that," Gobu Tian said, scratching his chin thoughtfully.
Upon hearing this, the surrounding female beastfolk swarmed in with eyes brimming with excitement.
"Brother Kuang!
Brother Kuang!
What did you say?
His Majesty is going to save poor Bill?!"
"With… donkey stamina?!
No way!
I've got to get dressed up right now!"
"Is Master Bill finally going to become a real man?
I can't miss this!"
"It's not about Master Bill's… kidneys, or his status—I just love smithing!"
"Yes, me too!
I just love forging alongside him!"
Seeing this enthusiasm, Gobu Kuang and his companions felt reassured.
"Seems like Master Bill won't be lonely anymore.
He might even thank us for the publicity, and we can get him to make us some enchanted gear!
Heh!"
Soon enough, with their continued hype, what had initially garnered no interest ignited excitement throughout half the royal city.
Whether noble flower-spirits, alluring spectres, or the grotesque boarfolk and mighty apes, all were trying their best to doll themselves up, hoping to catch Bill's attention.
"Honey, maybe we should get a divorce.
You deserve someone better; just give me a bit of gold to get by!"
"Alright, dear!"
"My daughter, you missed out on marrying the Goblin King, but you can't let this chance slip by!"
"We, the sweet sisters of the scented mice, will definitely capture Master Bill's heart!"
…
In the royal palace…
Lin Tian instructed, "Prepare an open carriage; I'll be standing with Master Bill in it soon."
"No need, Your Majesty.
I've already got it ready," Bill replied, pointing to the palace square.
There, a steel-crafted enchanted carriage awaited, adorned with floral decorations, white drapes, and wedding-like decor.
Even the mechanical horses were white—an ideal 'white knight's steed' for any woman.
It was an open carriage, too, perfect for standing and picking out candidates.
Lin Tian laughed, "You old rascal, prepared so well, aren't you?"
Bill grinned sheepishly.
"Hehe, that's not all.
Watch this."
He walked up to the enchanted carriage and pressed a small button.
"Shua!"
Instantly, a layer of red steel drapery unfurled over the carriage, a celebratory sight.
Bill, still in the throes of pride, boasted, "Look here!
I even enhanced the shock-absorption features—no matter what happens inside, there'll be no sign of movement from the outside."
"Is that so?
Let me see."
Lin Tian leaned in for a closer look.
At first, all seemed well—until he noticed the interior was stocked with a bizarre collection of toys, belts, and whips—everything imaginable.
"Damn, Bill!
Are you really that freaky?
No dignity for an old man?"
Bill's face reddened.
"I—I was only thinking about my consort!
Who knows what they might like…"
"For you?!
Really?!"
Lin Tian wiped his face in disbelief, thoroughly taken aback.
These kinds of things, he'd only ever seen in his past life on Earth.
Here?
A first.
He hadn't expected Bill's tastes—or quirks—to be so forward-thinking.
But the idea of him using them for himself was a little off-putting.
Suppressing his distaste, Lin Tian coughed, "Forget it.
Cough… make me a set like this sometime.
Let's get going."
Bill's eyes lit up.
"Your Majesty, you… you like this kind of thing too?"
Lin Tian shot him a glare.
"The opposite, actually.
I'd use it on others, not on myself.
Now, let's go!"
The enchanted carriage revved up.
It didn't move like a real horse-drawn carriage, as that would be a bit too advanced.
Instead, small wheels were attached to the horse legs, functioning similarly to a car.
Its power even exceeded top-tier supercars of the modern world.
Just as they exited the palace, they saw beastfolk and monsterfolk of every kind lining both sides of the street.
"Master Bill!
Choose me, choose me!
I can cook, clean, and bear children—at least twelve per litter!"
"Know your place!
Who would choose a boarfolk?
We, of the catfolk, are adorable and affectionate!
Master Bill, pick me!"
"Master!
Master!
I love that clash and sweat of forging!
Choose me!"
"Don't listen to those loose-stitched ones!
Us mandarin duckfolk choose only one partner for life—I'm clean!"
"Me too!
Pick anyone else, Master, and you might end up with flowers* down there!
Plenty of loose-stitched folks here!"
"Go to hell with that!
Who's loose-stitched here?
I can give Master skills that none of you can!
Trust me, Master, I'll serve you so well, you'll be wrapped around my finger!"
"Y'all go after the dwarves—I want the Goblin King!
Look at me, Your Majesty!
I love you so much, I feel itchy all over every day!
If I can't have you for a second, it feels like bugs are crawling in my bones!"*
"If you're that itchy, grab a stick and scratch yourself.
The Goblin King wouldn't even look our way."
The entire street roared with chaotic noise.
Many of the beastfolk were indeed quite striking, but plenty seemed rather oblivious to their chances.
And shockingly, there were many males, too!
Lin Tian couldn't help but snap, "Get lost!
The Goblin Empire doesn't allow male bronze*!"
Beside him, Bill's eyes practically sparkled.
"My goodness!
They're beautiful!
I hadn't realized the royal city had such beauties!
Tall, fiery, healthy—and most importantly, they can bear children!"
"Oh?
Who?"
Lin Tian glanced around, baffled.
"I don't see anyone.
But if you're looking for a good experience, maybe go with the catfolk.
That succubus could be fun too, though she's… loose-stitched."
Bill shook his head at each suggestion.
"No, look there!
Looks like… a boarfolk woman, maybe?"
Stunned…
For a full second, Lin Tian froze in disbelief.
"What?
The boarfolk?!
Are you serious?"
That snout, those tusks, hair covering her from head to toe, and bristling to boot.
Not even a blind man could go for that.
"Your Majesty, you don't get it!
A wife needs to be strong and sturdy—her build is perfect for helping at the forge!
But the real kicker—the thing that makes her irresistible—isn't obvious to you?
You really can't see it?!"
Bill's voice raised a few notches, practically buzzing with excitement.
The more Lin Tian looked, the more the boarfolk woman's painted red sausage lips made his stomach churn.
"Sorry, I just don't see it.
I didn't expect you'd be… into this kind of thing…"
"You're blind!"
Suddenly, Bill shouted in exasperation.
Pointing at the boarfolk woman, he continued, "Look at her!
She has dozens of boobies!
Dozens!
It's a dream come true, with multiple to satisfy you endlessly!!"
"Oh, hell no!"
Lin Tian nearly fainted on the spot!
…
*itchy is a synonym of being in heat, or being horny.
*flowers refer to rashes from STDs.
*male bronze refers to gays.