-Manda's POV-
"Senpai, what type of boys do you like?"
Those were the words my green haired kohai said to me.
He leaned in close with an easy, almost teasing smile, and golden eyes that gleamed with a mischievous mystique. My heart skipped a beat before pounding wildly in my chest.
Instantly, I felt my face heat up as our gazes crossed paths. I tore my eyes away, staring determinedly at the table.
Internally clutching my head, I banged it against an imaginary wall.
Ahhh I can't even look him in the eye! Plus his question was so sudden that I don't even know how to respond!
I groaned while reaching for my straw, tracing slow circles around its small mouth. It shouldn't be so difficult for me to reply...
I lifted my eyes briefly-only to drop them again, now staring at his hands instead; fingers twitching as I resisted the urge to reach out.
Who am I kidding, ofcourse it's gonna be difficult to flat out tell your crush that he's your ideal type. Especially since you've only known him for a month.
That's way too soon to assume mutual feelings...
Right?
Urgh, I don't know~!
My heart skipped a beat. But...what if he does feel the same?
A dangerous thought. One that sent my mind into a spiral of simulations. The following were my potential response:
"I like boys with green hair..." Too obvious.
"Uh, I like nice boys!" Too vague.
"Umm, I-I like them youn-" Next!
Banging my head against the imaginary table, I sobbed into my arms that would've been there.
AHHH!! I DONT KNOW HOW TO RESPONDDDD!!!
As I tried my darndest to not blow this chance, a harrowing realization dawned upon me.
I was taking too long to reply. And the consequences of my indecisiveness immediately took shape.
Monty's expression softened, his lips pressing together slightly before he lowered his gaze to the table and he drew back.
"Sorry, did I make you uncomfortable?" He fiddled with his thumb. His voice was noticeably quieter than usual and his broad shoulders slumped.
He seemed so tiny.
I panicked.
"A-ah, no-y-you didn't do anything wrong Monty-kun!" My voice suddenly raised an octave before quickly dying out.
My hold tightened, "I-I was just surprised that's all...I've never been asked that before so I was kind of caught off guard. In fact, I've.... I've never been in a relationship so I don't really know how to answer your question."
His fingers stiffened slightly beneath mine before relaxing. His eyes widened, then a light chuckle slipped from his lips.
"Is that so? That's a surprise."
I blinked. Huh?
I barely registered how, at some point, my hands had become interlocked with his. My grip tightened slightly, warmth creeping up my neck as a crooked smile broke out on my freckled features.
My heart. Can't. Take. This.
Then, Monty looked away.
A moment passed before he glanced at me from the corner of his eye, a smirk forming on his lips soon after.
I tilted my head, confused.
To be honest, I was feeling a bit anxious... Or maybe self-conscious was the right word? Anyway, I felt the need to question his reaction.
"W-what, is there something on my face?" I asked, brushing the tips of my fingers over my freckled cheeks.
He snorted, shaking his head. "No... it's nothing like that."
His golden eyes met mine again, but this time there was something different in them. Something that sent another strong jolt of electricity through my chest.
"I just can't get enough of how adorable you look when you smile."
I froze.
"Adorab...le?"
"Yes. You look adorable senpai."
My brain short-circuited.
Bzzt. Error. ᗴɽɽơɽ. Տɤ᥉ȶⱸ៣ ʆąίȴ𝚞⃫𝚛⃫𝚎⃫.
It felt like someone had reached into my chest and pulled out my heart with a pair of burning hot tongs.
My face burned brighter than a furnace, my vision swaying slightly from the sudden lightheadedness that gripped me. I think I'm falling in love...
Wait.
Aren't I already in love???
Before I could recover, Monty suddenly burst into laughter.
"Pfft-Aha-ahahaha!"
I blinked at him, still dazed.
...Huh?
"Ahh, Senpai, you're too easy." He grinned at me while shaking his head. "I was joking."
My heart, still clinging onto its last thread of life, promptly shattered into pieces upon its sudden fall.
I pouted, aggressively stirring my drink with my straw as I turned my head to look away. Yeah, laugh it up, Monty-baka!
He wiped a tear from the corner of his eye, his laughter dying down into a soft chuckle soon after. "Ha-hahaha. Haaa."
Then, suddenly, his tone changed. "But seriously, you do look cute. If you were more confident, I'm sure all the boys would be lining up for you and you probably would never be in this kind of dilemma again."
I stilled. My grip on my straw tightened.
But Monty-kun, I only want you to be in line...
I averted my gaze toward the table as my lips pressed against my half submerged straw before the warm liquid of my cappuccino started flowing into me at a constant, yet slower than moderate pace.
Of course, I couldn't say that out loud. It would be way too embarrassing for me to even think of handling such a situation.
Like, what if I got rejected?
That kind of thing won't leave me feeling particularly good about myself no matter how politely it happened...
I sighed. This is exactly what he's talking about, isn't it?
Confidence.
I won't know the answer until I try-but what sense is there in trying if I already expect utter failure?
I mean, sure, I like him, but there's no way he feels the same after just one month... right?
It's not like I did anything that would make him develop any kind of feelings for me either.
The best indicator of this is how nonchalant he is when talking about my looks.
He's quick to give me compliments and even quicker to take them back when I react a certain way for the sake of a laugh.
I paused my drink. But then, there are moment like just now when he's being completely serious about what he says.
Now I know all of what he says comes from a kind place and not anywhere with any sort of romantic interest but still... it's all so frustrating.
His words pull me in like an irresistible magnet and push me away so effortlessly like a leaf in the wind.
In fact, they're more akin to the constant push and pull of a needle in a rotary sewing machine.
Sharp, concise and none committal.
"But seriously. You do look cute."
...
Doesn't he understand how simple words like those make me feel?
"Tell you what," Monty suddenly lifted a finger.
"Hm?" I glanced up.
"How about we fix that?"
"Fix what?"
"Your confidence."
I frowned, stirring my drink suspiciously. "And how do you... plan to fix that?"
He smiled, "By having you interact with more people."
I slowly nodded. "Uh huh..." Then my eyes widened in realization. "W-wait-y-you don't mean like... going out and socializing, right, Monty-kun?"
"I do."
My stomach dropped.
"I-I don't think I can."
He merely grinned at my weak protest.
"It's better to try and fail than regret not doing so. No action, no results." He straightened his back, suddenly exuding the aura of a foreign noble, "For inaction will never give you the reaction you so desire."
'Inaction will never give the intended reaction, huh...' I mentally reiterated.
I stared at him, shell-shocked.
Did... did he just drop wisdom on me mid-joke?
Still, his words stuck with me.
He was basically saying that wishing for something without taking any steps toward it was pointless.
Oddly enough, it fit my situation perfectly.
If I keep hesitating, I won't move forward.
If I keep hiding my feelings, I'll never know what he thinks of me.
...Did he know that?
I shook the thought away. No way. He's probably just trying to sound wise again.
Still...he's definitely right about that.
I clenched my fists. "Alright. I-I'll... give it a shot."
Monty's eyes flickered toward my trembling hands. He studied me for a moment, then narrowed his gaze slightly.
Monty's eyes flitted to my hands. He studied me with slightly narrowed eyes, "Senpai, if you don't feel comfortable, you can always back out. I won't force you."
Unlike earlier, he was noticeably more serious. Was he...worried?
I relaxed my grip, my lips curling into a small smile. "There's no need to worry, Monty-kun. I-I actually want to be more outgoing."
His eyes narrowed slightly, faint traces of worry seeping into his tone, "Are you sure?"
I nodded and he exhaled softly, "That's good then."
Looks like he was concerned that he was being too assertive.
It was honestly funny how considerate he could be of people's feelings; when he wasn't joking around that is.
"Now who to choose..." I watched as the green haired boy scanned the crowded building, his eyes swiftly flickering from table to table of the room with a thoughtful look.
His gaze soon locked onto something...or rather, someone.
"Ah."
"See that guy over there?" He nodded towards the counter behind me.
I slowly turned around, my eyes eventually lasering in on a head of red at the other end of the room, "I've seen him by himself a lot in our year group, but I get the feeling he's waiting for someone to approach him so he can make friends."
Monty rested his chin on the back of his hand while watching me closely with a constantly growing smirk. "He seems like a good start, don't you think?"
My throat went dry.
"Ah, W-wait-"
Suddenly I didn't want to do this anymore.