Alright, so here's how my genius brain decided to kick things off at the Eremite base.
I turned to Mr. Biceps himself, who was already looking like he regretted every life decision that led him here. "Alright, so you're staying here, yeah?"
Alhaitham gave me the tiniest nod, like confirming anything I said physically hurt him. Which, fair.
"Perfect." I slapped my hands together. "Alright, lovely ladies! And floating food! And uh… lizard? To Caravan Ribat we go!"
Greg perched on my head like a proud overlord, tail smacking against my forehead as if he was the captain steering the ship. Lumine groaned under her breath, Nilou laughed softly, and Paimon zipped ahead like she'd just filed her official disownment papers.
So off we marched. Me, my two definitely-not-girlfriends-but-also-kind-of, a floating snack with attitude, and a judgmental reptile who may or may not be the smartest one in this whole team. Still up for debate, honestly.
On the way, Nilou hummed lightly, glancing up at the sky. "It feels strange… like the desert is holding its breath."
"Probably because it knows I'm about to do something stupidly heroic," I said proudly.
Lumine smacked my arm. "Or just stupid."
Greg flicked his tongue and gave a little lizard nod, like she's right.
When we reached Caravan Ribat, guess what was waiting? The enemy boss who wasn't an enemy anymore, and Cyno—who looked like he was cosplaying Anubis all by himself and still managed to have jokes worse than mine. Which, by the way, is an achievement.
Rahman crossed his arms the moment we walked up. "Ah, my friend, you're just in time. Perhaps you can help me persuade Cyno… He's turned against our plan."
"Oh boy," I muttered. "Here comes the desert drama."
Cyno's eyes narrowed. "The plan is too radical and carries a high risk for casualties. I cannot agree to it."
Rahman shot back, "But it's the best plan we have. As a former matra, you should see the bigger picture, recognize the advantages—"
"I did," Cyno interrupted sharply. "And that is exactly why I see the dangers. Alhaitham's plan is even more radical than I imagined."
I clapped my hands once, startling Paimon. "Ohhh, it's a debate! Excellent. Let me grab my imaginary popcorn. Greg, take notes."
Greg licked his eyeball. Not helpful.
Paimon waved frantically. "H-hey! Why are you guys arguing!?"
Rahman gestured to me. "See? Even your friend notices!"
I put a hand on my chest. "Sir, I notice everything. Like the fact that Cyno's been holding in a lecture for three days straight, and he's about to explode. Watch this."
Nilou clasped her hands together, trying to ease the tension. "Maybe we should hear both sides before deciding…?"
Cyno turned toward Lumine and Paimon. "Rahman's plan is to have me work with the Caravan Ribat guards in my capacity as a matra. We'll arrest the mercenaries and escort them into Sumeru City."
Lumine's brows furrowed. "Wait… work with the guards?"
Paimon zipped back in shock. "How can we work with the guards!?"
Rahman gave a serious nod. "We cannot get through the wall easily. Caravan Ribat would never let so many unregistered Eremites into Sumeru City. My plan clears us of suspicion and lets us enter the city as a group. There is no better way."
Nilou tilted her head thoughtfully. "It does make sense… but it sounds risky."
I raised my finger like I was about to make a dumb joke. But then something in my brain, miracle of miracles, actually lined up correctly. "Wait, no—The Goddess is right. Think about it. If we go in as prisoners, yeah, we get through the gate. But if anyone higher up checks the records, we're immediately suspicious. 'Why did Cyno suddenly arrest so many people, and why are they all conveniently part of our secret plan?' Boom. Suspicion. Boom. Our cover's blown."
Everyone went quiet. Even Greg froze mid-tail smack.
Paimon's mouth hung open. "Wait… Shigeru actually made sense."
Lumine blinked at me like I had just grown two heads. Then she muttered, "…For once, he's useful."
I gasped, clutching my chest. "Did you hear that? She admitted it! Greg, write this down! History has been made!"
Greg puffed out his throat, looking smug, like yeah sure, but I'm still smarter than you.
Rahman frowned, conflicted. "He… actually has a point."
Cyno gave me the tiniest nod of acknowledgment. Which from him is basically a hug and a marriage proposal.
Nilou clapped softly. "See? Even Shigeru can be reliable sometimes."
"Sometimes!?" I barked. "Goddess, you wound me. I am reliable all the time. Like a cactus. Or sand. Or sand cactuses. Whatever those are."
Lumine pinched the bridge of her nose. "And there it goes again…"
Paimon groaned. "He was so close to being impressive!"
Greg flicked his tail against my head in perfect timing. Traitorous little lizard.
Rahman leaned back, arms crossed, eyes sharp but not hostile. "Anyway, if I'm being honest, I never blindly trust anyone. I've always had a good eye for people. I think he made a number of valid points. It's my own choice to trust you."
I had to admit it, the guy wasn't dumb. He had the kind of muscles that screamed I can lift a boulder just because it looked at me wrong, but behind those shoulders was a brain cell or two still hanging on for dear life. Smart villain, rare species. I nodded at him like I'd just approved a very expensive wine.
"You really are a likeable villain, man," I told him. "I'll give your biceps a nine out of ten. Needs a bit more symmetry, but still solid work. Very intimidating."
Lumine groaned beside me. "Shigeru, we're talking strategy, not gym ratings."
"Strategy is ninety percent confidence, ten percent biceps. I'm just keeping the math real." I shot her a grin.
Nilou giggled softly, trying to hide it behind her hand. "He's… not entirely wrong?"
Greg the lizard crawled up my shoulder like he was also judging Rahman's muscles. His tail tapped against my neck twice—my certified Greg Morse Code for this guy lifts. I puffed my chest. "See? Greg approves. That's like getting a five-star review from an ancient deity."
Rahman tilted his head, clearly unsure if he should laugh or be concerned.
Paimon huffed and crossed her arms. "Why are you making this into a gym contest? This is supposed to be serious!"
"Correction," I said, pointing dramatically at Rahman's arms. "This is serious. Those arms could crush a watermelon. Or me. Or both at once."
Greg flicked his tongue like he agreed.
Cyno cut in, serious as always. "If I make the arrests alone, I can control myself and prevent you from getting hurt, but I can't guarantee that kind of discipline from the guards. To make the whole thing more convincing, you'll need to resist to some degree. Casualties are inevitable once push comes to shove."
The guy had the emotional range of a rock, but I respected his effort.
"I'm okay with the deaths of enemies," Cyno went on, "but now that we're allies, I'm against the meaningless loss of our own."
Rahman chuckled, low and surprised. "Haha. I can't believe a matra would actually care about us. I've lived a hard life, and I can say that people like you are hard to come by."
Cyno's face stayed as still as a wall. "I've always treated my allies with honesty and respect. They have the right to know important things like this."
Rahman rubbed the back of his neck. "...Now, you're making this hard for me."
Nilou leaned forward gently, her tone soft. "That's a good thing though, isn't it? It means you can finally rest a little, even if just in trust."
Rahman blinked at her, then let out a breath that sounded almost like relief.
Paimon hovered closer, her little arms waving dramatically. "Hey, is there something we can do to help?"
I raised my hand instantly. "If there is no other way, I can help. I know what I'm doing."
Paimon tilted her head, suspicious. "You… know what you're doing?"
I hesitated, then shrugged. "Well, not totally. But Lumine does. Right, blondie?"
Smack. Right across my arm. "Stop dragging me into your nonsense," she snapped.
Rahman's eyes sparkled like he'd just been waiting for me to say something dumb. "Haha, I knew you would say that."
Cyno blinked once. I swear that blink meant I'm rethinking my life choices.
Paimon, eager as always, piped up again. "We can help 'fight' some of the mercenaries, which should reduce the number of times you'll have to struggle directly with the guards. That should help at least a little bit!"
I jabbed a finger at Rahman. "You hear that? Free labor. This is a limited-time offer. Normally, you'd have to pay extra to get me on board, but today, lucky for you, I'm feeling generous."
Lumine crossed her arms. "You're literally already part of the plan. You don't get to upsell yourself."
"Wrong. I upsell myself every day. It's called charisma."
Greg flicked his tongue in my ear, which I decided meant no, it's called delusion.
Nilou tilted her head, thoughtful. "We should respect the determination of Rahman and his comrades. They've come this far already."
Rahman nodded firmly. "Cyno, on behalf of my people, I thank you for your kindness. But this is a mission we cannot turn our backs on. We strongly value the lives of our friends, but the goal we are about to achieve is even more important. We have no fear of casualties, because we crave the spoils of victory. So, please lend us your support! We will show you the determination of us desert-dwellers."
I muttered under my breath, "Yeah, but have you considered craving a nap instead? Less casualties, more blankets."
Nilou gave me a look that was both amused and disapproving. She's got that teacher energy sometimes.
Greg slapped my cheek with his tail like he was siding with her.
Cyno exhaled through his nose. "...Well, now that you've put it that way, I can no longer refuse. But remember, you need to follow the plan and not do anything reckless. Candace made it very clear that we can only achieve our goals if we can ensure our safety."
I raised my hand again. "Define reckless. Because I feel like my definition and yours are on completely opposite ends of the scale."
Lumine didn't even hesitate. "Yours means existing."
Nilou snorted into her hand. Even Rahman cracked a smile.
"Objection," I said, standing like a lawyer. "Existing is my specialty. If that's reckless, then the world's doomed already."
Greg tilted his head like he was questioning if I had a point or just brain rot.
Cyno ignored me, which was fair. "Since you and I both recognize the significance of this operation, there should be no more animosity between the followers of the Dendro Archon and those of King Deshret. Everyone's life is equally important."
Rahman slammed his fist into his palm. "Okay, you have a deal. Let's do this for our shared dream!"
Everyone nodded, determination glowing in their eyes.
Me? I was still staring at his arms. "Still a nine out of ten," I whispered to Greg. "Maybe nine point two. Fine, I'll bump it up."
Greg tail-slapped my cheek.
"Okay, nine point five."
Nilou sighed with a smile. "You'll never change, will you?"
"Wrong," I said proudly. "I evolve. Like a Pokémon. Next form: ten out of ten arm critic."
Lumine rubbed her temples. "Please don't."
Cyno straightened. "The guards should be stationed in the courtyard nearby. You can find them there."
The tension in the air thickened. Strategy time. Battle incoming.
Meanwhile, me? I was already trying to calculate if I could somehow use Rahman's biceps as a shield.
Spoiler: I was definitely going to try.
________
End of Chapter 136
Quests Completed
*Survive a heated tactical debate without getting stabbed by Lumine or arrested by Cyno. Barely.
*Convince Rahman that maybe, just maybe, you aren't a complete moron (results may vary).
*Provide actual strategic input that shocks the entire party. Party is still recovering from the whiplash.
*Play along with Cyno's "totally safe" plan to infiltrate Sumeru City. Reminder: casualties not recommended.
*Earn Rahman's full respect by finally giving him a perfect 10/10 arm rating. Must not get tail-slapped by Greg during evaluation.
Rewards:
*+1 Temporary Respect from Cyno (expires in 24 hours or after next dumb comment)
*Rahman's Acknowledgment (comes with optional arm-crushing hug)
*Nilou Giggles ×2 (Rare drop)
*Paimon's Shocked Face (Captured forever in mental screenshot)
*Greg's Judgment Tail Slap ×3 (Critical hits only)
*+1 Point in "Actually Made Sense" Skill Tree (still level 1, cooldown 6 months)
*Rahman Biceps Review Unlocked (Currently 9.5/10)
*New Passive: "Reckless by Existing" (cannot be unequipped)