The pain vanished all at once.
I slowly opened my eyes. Namur was still sitting in front of me, lifeless. His eyes were closed, his head hanging forward against his chest.His skin had grown even paler after losing all of his blood, but somehow, he hardly looked any different than before.
I stared at him for a few seconds.
Seventy years.
I had seen his entire life through his eyes. His family, his choices, the people he had betrayed. I knew things about him that perhaps no one else ever had.
And yet, looking at his corpse, I felt nothing for him.
The fact that Namur had never been able to feel anything himself didn't excuse what he had done. He had understood the consequences of his actions. He had simply chosen to go through with them anyway.
He deserved this.
I picked up one of the knives and made two cuts across his neck, destroying any clear trace of the bite. Then I ran my tongue over my lips, wiping away the last taste of his blood.
My body felt strange for the first few steps. I dismissed the feeling and headed upstairs.
When I reached the top, Hadan was the only one waiting for me. He stood against the wall with his arms crossed, but the moment he looked at me, his expression changed.
His brow furrowed slightly.
"Are you all right?"
"Yes. Why?" I asked.
"No reason." Hadan studied me for another moment before continuing. "How did it go? Did you manage to get anything out of him?"
"Quite a lot."
I started with the people inside our faction Namur knew were secretly reporting to Kudur, naming them one after another, whether they were chosen or not.
Hadan suddenly raised a hand.
"Wait, wait."
I stopped.
He stared at me for a few seconds, his earlier concern replaced by disbelief.
"You got all of that from him?"
I nodded.
Hadan let out a laugh. At first it was only a short breath, but then he shook his head and laughed again.
"Sorry." He gestured for me to continue. "Go on."
So I did.
This time, I gave him the broader picture: who was firmly on Kudur's side, who still supported my father, and who had remained neutral. I also made sure to tell him that Azel was innocent.
Hadan listened without interrupting, but the more names I gave him, the more serious his expression became.
Then I reached something that had bothered me since I saw it in Namur's memories.
"There's something else. The cultists aren't working for Kudur."
Hadan's eyes narrowed.
"Are you sure?"
"Namur was there when they first appeared. Kudur's people knew nothing about them either. They only took advantage of what was happening and used it to frame my father."
Hadan stayed silent for a moment.
"So whoever is behind the rituals is still out there."
"Yes."
"If we could find proof, that would be ideal" he muttered.
I nodded.
"That's everything important."
It wasn't everything.
Not even close.
I could have told him about conversations Namur had heard years ago, names that had barely mattered to him, places he had visited, and dozens of other details buried somewhere in those memories.
But I had no idea how long I had actually been downstairs. So I limited myself to what could actually help us now.
"What a terrifying rune..." he said, almost to himself.
Then his eyes settled on me.
"Don't tell anyone else what it can do."
"Don't worry. Besides you, only Kisaya and Lureh know. I trust both of them."
Hadan nodded slowly.
"Good."
He looked down for a moment, already seeming to sort through everything I had told him.
"Well done, Prince. This changes a lot. I'll start putting the information to use immediately."
Then he looked back at me.
"Do you need anything before I go?"
"Yes. How did you keep Namur's disappearance from raising suspicion?" I asked.
"Last night, a group was sent out on an emergency mission to investigate movements from Kish that might interfere with the coronation. As far as anyone else is concerned, Namur went with them."
Perfect.
If it had been an emergency, Namur wouldn't have had time to leave another tablet before leaving. It wasn't the first time something like that had happened, either. Even if Kudur found the silence a little strange, he would have no reason not to accept it.
Hadan turned to leave. "Go back to the workshop. Get some rest and clear your head before we continue this afternoon."
Clear my head?
Why?
Before I could ask what he meant, Hadan was already walking away. I watched him for a moment, but eventually dismissed what he had said and headed back toward the workshop.
The moment I stepped outside the temple, the sunlight struck my eyes. I raised an arm to shield them and continued walking.
The city was loud. For some reason, it bothered me more than usual.
Merchants shouting from their stalls, footsteps against the streets, carts moving past, people arguing somewhere nearby. With the coronation only a few days away, the city had probably grown even more crowded than usual.
I found one of the quieter streets and took the most direct path back to the workshop. I doubted anyone would recognize me, but I kept my head down and moved carefully anyway.
When I reached the workshop, I found Kisaya laughing with Lureh. She turned toward me, and the laughter vanished from her face almost immediately. Before I could say anything, she walked over and placed a hand against my cheek.
"What happened to you?"
I tilted my head slightly.
"Nothing. Why?"
Her eyes narrowed. She kept looking at me for a few seconds before speaking again.
"How many years?"
I stared at her. She could tell just by looking at my face?
"A little over seventy."
The words had barely left my mouth when her arms wrapped around me. She rested her head against my chest and simply stayed there.
What was happening?
Hadan had told me to clear my head too. I looked down at Kisaya, still trying to understand what both of them had noticed that I hadn't.
Several moments passed.
She was still holding me.
...
Why wasn't I holding her back?
Ah.
Now I understood.
My emotions felt... distant. After living Namur's life, some of the way he experienced the world had lingered with me.
I slowly wrapped my arms around Kisaya. Her body trembled slightly the moment I did.
"Don't worry" I whispered near her ear. "It'll pass with time."
I was sure it would.
I could still feel those emotions somewhere inside me. They hadn't disappeared. I just needed to find my way back to them.
I gently lifted Kisaya's face, gave her a soft kiss, and smiled.
"Everything will be fine."
She gave a small nod.
After a moment, she slowly pulled away.
"Do you want to eat something? I feel like making some food."
"Yes."
Lureh had been staring at us the entire time, clearly having no idea what was going on. Kisaya and I headed toward the kitchen, but when I glanced back, Lureh was still standing exactly where we'd left her.
"Are you coming?"
She hesitated, clearly unsure whether she should intrude without knowing what had happened.
I went into the kitchen and started preparing a fish stew. A little while later, Lureh finally came in and joined us.
While I was preparing the food, Kisaya spoke.
"Isn't this bad for you? Doing it so many times... living so many years. It has to affect you somehow."
I understood what she meant. And if that were the case, it would be worrying.
But...
"At first, with Akhem, I thought it might become a problem. But I don't think we need to worry about that anymore. Ever since Liraya, it's been different."
I paused, trying to figure out how to explain it.
I could feel those lives inside me, but they were secondary. Separate from my own. I could reach for them whenever I wanted, remember everything they had seen and felt, without losing myself in the process.
"Imagine a room with tablets" I said. "Each one contains someone's life. I can choose one and remember everything as if I were that person. But even when I do, I'm still me."
"Then why are you like this now...?" Kisaya whispered.
"This time was a little different. Namur... he didn't feel emotions. After living his life, I suppose some of that stayed with me."
Both of them fell silent.
I picked up one of the fish and started cutting it while they processed what I had just told them.
"Eresh" Kisaya finally said.
I looked up at her.
"What?"
"Promise me you won't do it again unless it's absolutely necessary."
"I already told you, there's no—"
"Promise me" she interrupted. "You're sixteen, Eresh, but you've lived more than two hundred years through other people. That isn't normal. Something could go wrong."
She was right.
I hadn't really thought about the consequences after Liraya. So far, I only carried the memories of three people: Akhem, Liraya, and Namur.
Akhem hadn't been my choice, and both Liraya and Namur had been necessary. I didn't regret any of them. But knowing there was a risk changed things.
Who knew where the limit was?
Maybe one day my mind simply wouldn't be able to handle another life.
I was fine now. But would that always be true? Even if the ability was incredibly useful, was it worth the risk?
I didn't like the idea of limiting myself, but after what had just happened…
I smiled faintly.
"I promise."
As the hours passed, the distance between me and my emotions slowly began to fade.
By late afternoon, Hadan arrived. I said goodbye to both of them, then put on a robe with a hood that covered part of my face and went outside to meet him.
Several guards were with him. They tensed the moment they saw me, but none of them said anything.
"You look calmer now" Hadan said.
I let out a small laugh, though it still didn't feel completely natural.
"Sorry for worrying you."
Hadan placed a hand on my shoulder.
"Don't let the killing bother you too much. It happens to everyone the first time."
Then we started walking.
It was time to meet the first man Hadan believed we could bring over to our side.