(Kisaya POV)
Why isn't he back yet? Should I go after him? But… if I do, where would I even start looking?
I couldn't stop pacing, back and forth, over and over again. The silence only made it worse. What if something happened to him? What if he needs me?
He hasn't been well these past few days. And this is already the second time he's left like this and taken too long to return.
I should just go with him next time.
I gave a quick nod to myself.
Yes. That's what I'll do.
And I swear to the gods, if the first thing he says when he comes back is some stupid joke like last time…
I'll hit him.
Yes.
I'll hit him.
I was just clenching my fist when the door suddenly opened.
"Eresh!"
I was about to ask where he had been… but the moment I saw him, something felt off. There was something wrong.
"What happened?" I asked, my voice flat.
He smiled.
"Many things… too many. I can't tell you right now, but don't worry. Everything's fine."
I just stared at him in silence.
Many things? And he couldn't tell me?
"Even with a spiritual zone?" I asked. I had been practicing it—by now I could form it more easily and hold it for longer.
He shook his head. "It's too dangerous. Trust me."
Too dangerous? What could possibly be that dangerous that he couldn't even say it?
But… he was fine. That was what mattered.
I would learn the rest later. In the end, I gave a small, slow nod.
"Have you eaten?" he asked. The sudden shift caught me off guard.
Why was he asking that?
"I wasn't planning to."
Without another word, he moved over to the tannur and the table beside it, grabbed a bowl, and scooped in some of the ground barley flour I had bought a few days ago.
I blinked.
Was he… cooking? Ereshgal?
"Do you even know what you're doing?" I asked, raising an eyebrow and crossing my arms as I watched him.
"Just because you can't cook anything without burning it doesn't mean no one else can."
…Oh. That hit a nerve.
"And how dare you say that to a lady?" I shot back.
He glanced around, as if actually looking. "Do you see a lady anywhere?"
"…What. Did. You. Just. Say?" My cheeks puffed up before I even realized it, and I was already moving to hit him. He raised both hands in surrender, laughing.
I stopped.
Watched him.
And then… I smiled.
I had missed this.
He went back to cooking, making a small hollow in the center of the flour, then poured in some water, a pinch of salt, and a bit of sesame oil. Without hesitation, he started mixing everything with one hand.
When the dough was ready, he set it down on a flat stone and began working it, his movements smooth and practiced.
I watched in silence. For a moment, I couldn't say anything. He moved like someone who had done this many times before.
And then I noticed it.
A new ring. Set into it was a red stone, faintly catching the light. It reminded me of…
Could it be? No, that's impossible.
Then he cut off a small piece of dough, rolled it into a ball, and began patting it rhythmically between his hands until it flattened into a thin round.
He stepped over to the tannur, now properly heated, and with a quick, practiced motion, pressed the dough against the inner clay wall.
While he worked, we kept talking.
Laughing.
Remembering things.
It felt… normal.
For a while, it almost made everything else fade.
A few minutes later, the bread puffed up, its surface swelling with small, charred bubbles. He hooked it free just before it could fall into the coals, then pulled it out and held it toward me.
"Careful" he said. "It's hot."
I didn't answer right away. My eyes stayed on the bread he was holding out to me. It looked… perfect. Taking it, I shifted it from one hand to the other so I wouldn't burn myself, while Ereshgal just stood there laughing.
I hope it tastes awful.
But the moment I took a bite, that thought vanished. Crisp on the outside, soft on the inside. Warm, light… simple, but done just right. Not something extraordinary, but better than most bread I'd ever had.
I glanced at him.
"Well?" he asked, that confident look already on his face.
I wanted to say no.
I really did.
"…It's good."
A small smile crossed his lips. "Glad to hear it."
I ate a few more while we kept talking. Of course, he didn't eat… and he didn't sleep either.
Time passed without me noticing. At some point, I started to feel tired. I could push it back with spiritual energy if I wanted to, but that wasn't ideal.
Still… I didn't want to leave.
"Go get some rest. We'll continue tomorrow." He had noticed.
I shook my head. "I can't."
Leaving now would mean breaking my edict. He watched me for a moment, then gave a small nod. He understood.
…Though if I had known what he was about to ask next, I might have wanted to leave, even if I couldn't.
"I don't know if you'll want to answer this…"
That immediately caught my attention. Why would there be something I wouldn't want to answer?
"What was your trial of will to become ascendant?"
I froze.
…What?
My trial of will? Why did he want to know that?
The shift in my expression must have been obvious, because Ereshgal spoke again before I could say anything.
"If you don't want to tell me, then don't."
Should I tell him? And if I did… would he blame himself? But I didn't want to keep things from him either.
I closed my eyes and clenched my fists, then chose to tell him.
"As you know, my mother died when I was born. My father was everything to me, and when he died too, it left a hole inside me I thought would never be filled. But somehow… you did."
My voice faltered for a moment, but I forced myself to continue.
"You became everything to me. And when you supposedly died, it felt like I lost everything all over again. I wanted to die…"
Ereshgal frowned.
"But I wasn't brave enough for that, so instead I kept throwing myself into suicidal missions. One after another. Kudur allowed it. If anything, it was convenient for him if I ended up dying in one of those places."
I lowered my gaze for a second before continuing.
"One of those missions was when I found you."
I looked back at him.
"I recognized you immediately, but you were completely out of control. I tried to call out to you, but you didn't respond. You were too strong… so strong that if I wanted even the slightest chance of stopping you, I had to attack with the intent to kill."
My hands tightened slightly.
"But… I couldn't."
I took a deep breath. My hands were trembling, so I laced my fingers together and squeezed them tight, trying to stop it.
"I didn't want to hurt you. I didn't want to fight you. So I stopped resisting and gave myself up, knowing you would kill me." My voice grew quieter. "I was going to give you one last hug before I died."
I reached out, rested a hand against his cheek, and smiled faintly.
"But at that moment, you came back to your senses. You stopped."
I held his gaze.
"And right after you lost consciousness, I became ascendant."
For a second, he said nothing. Then his hand rose and settled against my cheek. He leaned closer.
And before I could even understand what was happening… he kissed me.