Feeling her cheeks turn a shade of crimson, she shook off her thoughts.
She knew better than to hope for such a thing.
A subject of discussion will be her either way, so who knows what this evening might hold for her.
Maybe she will find herself in a hole by the time the sun rises.
Knowing that too might be a real possibility, she took the wooden cup from the table and washed away her desires with mouth after mouth of wine.
And with the empty cup back on the table, she turned her attention back to the ongoing conversation.
"I know what you two feel," began Blanc, looking at the twins with a sad knowing smile, "hopelessness, weakness, grief."
The twins stood silent as Blanc spoke, their eyes red from tears as they watched him.
"I cannot tell you not to feel that way because I do too. Grieve, cry, and miss them with all your heart. I do too. But after your grief, after that feeling of hopelessness as if you are underwater leaves your body, you need to get up. We need to get stronger, my brother and sister, strong enough that we might be able to do something about this. Understood?" Blanc asked the two.
Kael and Lune could not help but nod along as their tears escaped their eyes, getting up to hug their brother.
Blanc got up too, ready to receive their suffering.
He hugged them both. Holding them like that for minutes until they calmed down.
When they stopped, Blanc spoke again, "You can go to sleep if you wish, for the next ones we can decide alone as long as you trust me with the decision."
"We trust you, brother," said Lune, sniffing.
"Kael?" Blanc asked.
"I will go and be there for Lune," he nodded.
"Good boy," he said before kissing their foreheads.
"Good night," said the twins in unison as they did not turn around to face the rest.
After receiving a 'Good night' from Celine and Miyanna, they moved towards their room, leaving only the adults present.
As they left, Blanc rose to his feet and returned to the table, sighing.
"It will do them more good to hear about this now than after we left," said Celine, placing her hand atop his as he stood back on his chair.
"I know… It's just," Blanc wanted to reply, but Celine completed the sentence for him.
"It's just that you feel weak enough to not be able to help them. A feeling I shared the last few days, too," began Celine, "But we need to continue our talks."
"I'm sorry I made you feel that way," said Blanc, "But you are right. Now we need to discuss where to head next."
"Isn't the Domain of my family the only option worth considering?" Celine asked.
"Well, that and Blood Seraph. But there are issues with that as well," Blanc sighed.
Celine shook her head, "While I understand why you would think that, Blood Seraph's domain is not fit for the two, you know it."
"Why?" asked Miyanna, curious.
"Too hot," said Blanc, as he grabbed the wineskin from the table, "They hold dominion over volcanoes, which makes most of their Domain barren and way too hot."
"Oh…" muttered Miyanna, imagining the heat.
"Yes, I wonder how sister Sera is holding up with the news and the heat," muttered Blanc.
"Grieving, like we all are, surely," replied Celine to his wondering, "But I still think the Domain of Blood Maroux is the best option. Father holds enough influence and might to be able to negotiate your family's release, and if not, he has the might and backing of other Noble Bloods to amass a large army against the Iron Line and the Ulveth Kingdom."
"So be it, Blood Maroux's Domain it is," nodded Blanc, "But we need to think about the road ahead. We can't really travel through large cities or populated parts of the domains that are between us and Blood Maoux's. We do not know who might be on the side of the Empire or against it."
"Makes sense," Celine said, "We can take it through small villages and walk around populated areas. But that might take months."
"I know. We cannot go through the wilderness of other domains because we will get captured if caught, or if we go through the Surem Mountains directly to speed it up, that will be the death of us," Blanc explained.
"Either way, we can flesh out the course we will take the next few days until we recover, and if worst comes to worst, along the way, if things happen that we did not expect," Celine concluded.
Blanc nodded along as he moved the wine around his mouth.
"Anything else you wish to discuss, my love?" Celine asked.
Blanc's eyes turned towards Miyanna as he swallowed, "One last thing."
Hearing Blanc's words, Miyanna could not help to not grab the wineskin from the table and pour herself another cup full of wine before looking back at the two.
"It finally came, huh?" She asked.
"Yes. So, could I hear this story of yours as well?" Blanc replied.
"Will it make a difference? You killed before to protect your family. If you consider me a threat, why would my life story change so much the damn result?" Miyanna asked, her bronze eyes shining as the light artifact reflected from them.
"What a stupid thing to say," sighed Blanc as he grabbed his cup again, "If I wanted to kill you, why would I go through the trouble of healing you as well? You are too emotional, Miyanna. Put down the wine at least for now, it makes you act too cocky for your own good."
"What the?" asked Miyanna, offended by his words.
"He speaks the truth," intervened Celine, "The wine will not make this conversation easier. Leave it for now."
With a 'Tch', Miyanna clicked her tongue, putting the cup down, "Fine."
Miyanna's words and her thoughts did not match.
Her thoughts were more pure and hopeful, while her tongue and words were the same as always.
Cold. Keeping anything and anyone at arm's length.
A skill she developed over more than a decade of surviving on her own.
"But hold on, before any of that," Miyanna said, "You have to tell me why you killed the old alchemist woman. We spared her, yet you killed her. Why?"
"For survival. Why else? She would not sell me the potions all of you needed, so, instead of just taking them and risking her telling someone about it while we recovered, I decided to kill her and not risk discovery."
"Why would she not sell them?" asked Celine.
"She had to use them for her own son and grandson. Wounded by Moroi, she said. I had to choose between my own family and hers. So I chose mine. And after I killed her, as redemption, I promised I would return the Vita's Mercy that remained back at her home for her son and grandson to use to heal themselves." Blanc explained.
The two women remained silent.
Miyanna especially.
Survival, she thought.
She could understand best what that word meant.
She could not judge Blanc for what he did. After all, she had her own decisions haunt her past.
After all, her whole life was dictated by it.
By this 'Survival'.