(Got a New multiversal fic on Patreon called WEATHER WIZARD SI. It starts in DC and quickly divulges into other dimensions. Check it out as the first chapters are free)
Early chapters on Pátreon.com/Herd99.
-
Kain didn't sleep.
He wanted to. He tried—twice, in fact.
But the anticipation kept tugging at his eyelids, keeping them half open even as his body screamed for rest. His ribs still throbbed. His arms were sore from simply lying still. But something in his brain had locked in on the moment ahead.
Revenge was close.
And it had a deadline.
The faint rustle of a plastic bag broke the silence.
Kain's eyes flicked open.
There he was.
Garp, the living hurricane, sitting upright on his cot like nothing in the world could touch him. He stretched, yawned loudly, scratched his head, and reached for his rice crackers.
"Huh, almost empty..." Garp grumbled shaking the bag.
Without paying any attention to Kain, the Vice-Admiral got up and like a man in a trance, left the infirmary.
Kain counted the seconds until Garp's return half a minute later...with more rice crackers.
THE Rice Crackers.
'Here it comes...' thought Kain, giggling inside.
The cursed bag crackled as Garp ripped it open with one hand. Kain's fingers curled into the blanket.
First bite.
Crunch.
Second bite.
Crunch-crunch.
Garp leaned back against the infirmary wall, eyes half closed in bliss, like a man who had just ended a war and now deserved a snack.
Kain peeked through barely open eyelids.
Nothing yet.
Was it too soon? Did he mess up the dosage?
Then Garp's expression twitched.
Just a flicker. Barely noticeable.
His eyes narrowed slightly. He sniffed once. Paused mid-chew.
And then the sound came.
His belly gurgled.
Kain almost choked holding in the laugh. His shoulders tensed, mouth clamped shut. He looked away and bit the side of his lip to keep from breaking.
Garp froze.
One hand went to his stomach.
The other still held a cracker.
"…What the hell?" the old man muttered, his tone low and suspicious.
Another gurgle. Louder.
Garp's eyes widened. "No. No, no, no—"
He jumped to his feet, almost knocking over the cot.
Kain couldn't take it anymore. He burst into laughter, wheezing through cracked ribs, tears streaming down his face.
"You… you ate the whole bag!" he gasped between laughs.
Clutching his stomach, Garp spun toward him, face twisted in betrayal and disbelief. "You—you did this?!"
Kain was doubled over now, holding his side, wheezing. "Revenge is a dish best served with fiber!"
Garp's fists clenched.
His Haki flared instinctively.
But before he could move, his eyes widened again.
He turned.
And bolted out of the room like his pants were on fire.
Screams echoed from the mess hall bathroom.
Explosions of verbal fury.
Toilets slamming.
Metal doors shaking from sheer impact.
The walls of Marineford trembled—not from a pirate raid or natural disaster—but from one of the most feared Vice Admirals on the Grand Line fighting a losing battle with the violent storm in his belly.
Kain lay back against his pillow, still chuckling under his breath.
He winced with each laugh, his body sore, but his soul—his very spirit—was lighter than it had been in days.
The Shonen System chimed softly in his head.
[Mission Complete!]
-Objective: Add laxatives to Garp's rice crackers and laugh at him when he suffers the consequences.
-Reward:5,000 BSP
-Bonus: Free Nap Pass (20 uses)
Kain sighed contentedly. "Finally… some peace."
He pulled the blanket up to his chin, eyes fluttering closed at last.
But before sleep could take him, another notification blinked in his vision.
[Passive Perk Unlocked: Petty Genius]
-You now gain bonus BSP for pranks executed with dramatic flair.
He didn't even open his eyes. Just smiled faintly.
"Yeah. That tracks."
Kain's nap didn't last long.
Maybe 10 minutes. 20, tops.
He awoke not because of the usual nightmares from Garp's training, but because the ceiling above him had suddenly vanished.
Well, technically it was still there-just not whole. From his perspective—being airborne—it no longer served its purpose.
"What the— Aaaahhhhh!!!"
He didn't finish the thought before gravity reminded him it existed.
Moments earlier, Garp had burst back into the infirmary, still red in the face, his aura flaring like a demon with indigestion and revenge in equal parts.
"You think you're funny, brat?!"
Kain had only managed a sheepish "maybe?" before Garp's fist slammed into him like a divine judgment, blowing him and the cot through the roof of the building.
Now he was soaring.
Above Marineford. Above the clouds. Above sense-the punch had literally spun his head around and he was just now regaining logic.
The world blurred into blue and white, the wind howling past his ears. He twisted once, twice, and then leveled out, arms flailing in slow circles.
"-!"
He yelled, but the sound vanished into the wind.
[Please rephrase the statement]
"--!!?"
[Please rephrase the statement or you will be ignored]
"I SAID! WHY ARE HIS FISTS AN AIRLINE?!"
[Would you like to spend 15000 BSP to find out the answer?]
The Shonen System chimed cheerfully in his head like a tour guide on a doomed flight.
"15000_? Are you out your- ack!" Kain was cut off by a fly entering his mouth.
[Come again say what?]
A choking Kain flipped off the notification.
[System Notification: Antagonist Behavior detected]
-10 free nap passes retracted as penalty for rude antagonistic gesture.
-Current protagonist Status: Cresting over >10000 meters above sea level.
-Please endeavor to conduct yourself in a manner befitting a shonen MC, Kain-san.
Kain tumbled again, this time catching sight of a strange patch in the clouds ahead. A formation that looked too… solid. Flat. Structured.
His heart dropped faster than he was.
"No way…"
The clouds gave way, and suddenly, there it was.
Skypiea.
Not a dream. Not a legend. A full, living island in the sky.
He crashed through one cloud, then another, then—
Whump.
Not a graceful landing.
He hit the ground hard, face-first into soft grass that might as well have been stone.
His body groaned before he could.
"Okay," he muttered into the dirt. "Not dead. Probably. That's something. Also, fuck you system. Gimme back my nap passes."
[5 free nap passes retracted for repeated offence]
"Fine fine. lesson learned...no more cussing." Kain sighed.
When he rolled over, the sky was spinning.
Then faces appeared.
Pale, wide-eyed, feathery-outfitted people peering down at him like they'd just discovered a new species of fish.
"He fell up? from the Blue Sea?" one of them asked.
"Survived impact. That's… impressive."
"He looks dead."
"I'm not dead," Kain mumbled."Just need a minute..."
The group leaned in closer.
A woman crouched next to him, her voice softer than the others. "Are you from down below?"
He nodded. "Technically I was thrown from down below. Long story. Involves laxatives."
There was a pause. Then someone stifled a laugh.
He sat up slowly, brushing the cloud-dust from his hair.
"I don't suppose you've got a way down from here?" he asked. Besides falling.
The woman tilted her head. "Why would you want to go back? You just got here."
Kain blinked.
And then—because his brain was still somewhere over the ocean—he blinked again.
"…I don't know. That's actually a good point."
-
Back on the ground, Garp stood on the edge of the Marineford balcony, arms crossed, squinting into the clouds.
He grunted. "Little punk really flew. Hah."
Sengoku approached behind him, arms folded. "Do I even want to know what happened?"
"Just discipline," Garp said with a grin.
"Do I want to know whose discipline?"
"Mine."
"That...okay. You do you." Sengoku gave up
Down below, the mess hall was in chaos—shattered toilets, unconscious cooks, a shattered rice cracker bag pinned to the wall like a murder weapon.
Sengoku rubbed his temples. "He's not going to cause trouble wherever he lands, is he?"
Garp's grin grew. "Oh, I hope he does."
Kain leaned against a cloud-tree, watching the floating landscapes shimmer in the sunlight.
"Aaah. This is the life." He moaned, enjoying the shade and unbothered by the crowd watching him.
Maybe fate had done him a favor. Up here, there were no surprise punches, no monsters, no system missions involving exercise or pain.
Just… peace.
The Shonen System pinged again.
[New Mission Available!]
-Objective: Explore Skypiea and accidentally cause a diplomatic incident.
-Reward: 12,000 BSP
-Failure Penalty: Banishment (With Style)
Kain sighed and rolled his eyes.
"Of course."
Still, he stood up.
"Alright, Skypiea. Let's see what trouble you've got. I'm overdue for a nap—and probably another concussion."
And with that, the Lazy Lieutenant took his first step into the sky.