As I was led by the teacher into a room filled with electronics, I was immediately struck by the sight of shiny tiles and wires. I felt like I was in Rixton again, with the air conditioning and modern equipment.
Standing there, I faced a heavy-set man with medium hair and a squeaky voice seated beside the table.
"So, Mr. Adam..." He listed the names of all the students, and there was mine, as if it had been there from the very beginning. I didn't remember ever being in this school, nor did I recognize this place or the city I was supposedly from. Yet, somehow, the world was convinced I existed.
"Why did you hurt your classmate? That could be a Category 3 or even a Level 4 offense... straight to expulsion! But I am a kind man. Can you explain why you did it?" His emotions shifted wildly, ranging from calm authority to shouting.
I sighed. "Yes, I lost myself for a moment back then. I can't explain it to you, sir, nor do I believe I was right for doing so."
He smiled. "Adam, Adam. You're a Grade 12 student, almost ready for college—just a couple of months away. Did you really not think about that consequence?"
Yeah, I didn't think about that. I don't care.
"No," I stated flatly.
"If you can manage to convince me, then I might find a way for you... or not," he said, still smiling.
"Can we please stop this?" I asked.
"Stop what, Mr. Adam?"
"What's the punishment I'm going to get?"
"Well, it's not too severe, considering this is your first time: just a three-day suspension on any day I choose—which may or may not be important, like your exam day—and twelve hours of School Punishment Work," he said, smiling broadly. Then, his face went blank. "You can leave now, Mr. Adam."
As I left, he called after me, "If you ever punch another classmate again, well... it will be expulsion, Mr. Adam."
Walking away and going back to class, I sat down and boredly covered my face. The students didn't mock me anymore; they just whispered quietly and went back to their own things.
I wasn't special after all. With average school work and an average routine, I could feel myself getting tired and weakening. My stomach felt empty and hollow. Trying to learn and write notes while feeling weak was one heck of a struggle. I remained tired until I left school, but that was fine. I'd been through worse: when I was driving with Yoku in some parts of the stratum, we went days without food. I could manage this.
I was happy because at least I had someone.
It wasn't like I hadn't experienced things; I had changed. I needed to do what needed to be done. Walking away from school, I went straight to a store owner—a young lady with a handbag.
"Excuse me, ma'am. I want to be hired. Can you give me a job?"
She shooed me away. "Go away, young man. Kids these days, trying to get money even when their parents support them."
Excuse me, ma'am, that is not the case at all, I whimpered quietly.
I went to a labor office and tried to sign up for a job.
"Sir, I can do everything you want me to do, if you'll just hire me."
A large, bearded man with a slightly torn shirt replied, "Sorry, kid. You don't have an identification number to work, and you're a minor." He pushed me away.
Again and again, the rejections continued. I tried everything I could think of—grocery store stocker, warehouse storer, cleaner, package delivery—but I was turned away from every single place.
I was getting tired and hungry. I hadn't eaten in days, and the hunger was bothering me. Then a voice entered my mind, seeping through my brain.
(Just steal... Get the money, and you'll have your own food.)
Shut up... shut up... I can't hear what you're saying, I thought, disoriented and exhausted.
(Everything isn't real, so why follow the moral law? Why be good when it doesn't change anything?)
He was right about one thing: why did I need to follow the rules of this fake world when I could just do the things I wanted? I lay down by a tree, watching the hay wave gently in the air. But that isn't who I am. I refuse to become something I don't want to be.
"So go away... Please... I want to be..."
An Old Man approached. "I see you're still walking in a cycle, going on and on... looking for a job," he said, smiling. "I figured you need help, kid." He stood weakly, supported by a cane.
I stared at him.
"Not everyone is evil, and not everyone is good," he continued. "You just have to find the right person." The hay waved, and the sunset fluttered, turning the fields a gold-red.
"So, kid... do you want a job taking care of all the hay?"
Man, old man, why are you so... I mumbled quietly.
"Yes."
He smirked. "Then I guess I have to feed my workers. We can't have any weak workers! C'mon."
We walked toward a small hut built of wood and planks. I saw no electronics anywhere. Inside the empty house, the old man was the only other person.
In a pot, there was a bowl of cooked rice and some beans.
The Old Man eats "What arent you gonna eat?" Adam stayed awkward as there was another plate, the food was large enough to fill an entire family.
But the only other person here was me and this person, i dont even know his name as i take many spoonfulls as he just ignores it. And many handfull of rice.
The food was scrumtious the beans were yummy, and crunchy. The texture mixing the white and red beans makes it look colorfull. With the soft and hard rice.
Finally i can calm down.