"Qin Yu..."
Hearing Shenhe's soft call, Qin Yu snapped back to reality from her daze.
I spaced out again.
Though Zhongli's prescription had greatly reduced the frequency and intensity of her trances, she still occasionally slipped into these inexplicable states.
What's wrong with me? She had asked Mr. Baizhu at Bubu Pharmacy, but he shook his head, admitting he wasn't yet sure.
It doesn't seem like an illness... If it's not an illness, what could it be? Could my time be drawing to a close? Ha, how absurd... Qin Yu found the idea ridiculous.
"Hmm, I'm here. Is something the matter?" Qin Yu asked with a gentle smile.
"You were spacing out."
"Ahahaha, I was just thinking about some things. Sorry about that."
Shenhe shook her head. "No need to apologize. I was just worried you might not be feeling well. If that's the case, you should rest first."
"No, really, I was just lost in thought! I was thinking how happy I am that Shenhe is staying over tonight, but then I realized I didn't know what we should do next. I'm a bit confused," Qin Yu said with a smile.
Evaluation: C+
"I'm happy too. As for what to do... I have a suggestion."
Qin Yu hadn't expected Shenhe to make a suggestion at a time like this.
What could it be? Unable to contain her curiosity, Qin Yu asked, "What is it?"
"Master told me that when female friends stay overnight at each other's homes, they often chat in bed, catching up on old times. Sometimes they talk until late into the night."
Hearing that Cloud Retainer had suggested it, Qin Yu instinctively felt uneasy. But then she thought, Sometimes that's just how it is, right? Though she wasn't entirely sure.
Chatting? It's not like it's a bad thing.
Truthfully, Qin Yu didn't mind either way. Being with Shenhe meant she never felt awkward, even if they didn't have anything specific planned. Maybe it was because they had grown so used to each other over time.
Still, doing something optional wouldn't be bad.
Qin Yu already knew she'd be doing most of the talking. The thought suddenly drained her motivation.
Never mind. As long as Shenhe's happy. When she's happy, she's more reasonable.
"Sure, that sounds great! I'd love to chat with you, Shenhe. But let's finish dinner first."
"Mm."
Qin Yu took a few bites of her homemade stew, her expression relaxing.
Ah, good food is essential for a good life after all!
Time for the usual feedback request! Qin Yu turned to Shenhe beside her, smiling, and asked, "How does it taste? Is it too strong?"
"No, it's as delicious as ever."
Aiya, she can actually say that! I'll give this answer a 90 out of 100 for now, Qin Yu thought cheerfully.
"Besides," Shenhe continued softly, taking another bite with her spoon, "the home-style dishes you make always have a nostalgic flavor. I really like that."
Not just a simple "it's warm" anymore.
Nostalgic flavor? She's talking like I've been cooking for her for ages... No, it's been a few months, hasn't it? But still, using the word "nostalgic" seems a bit much.
It feels like family, Shenhe had blurted out during her last overnight stay, and those words echoed in Qin Yu's mind.
Could she be referring to this?
I'm not your family.
...It can't happen. As Qin Yu mentally dismissed the possibility, a muddy depression welled up, rapidly dragging her mood down.
Shenhe, oblivious to Qin Yu's inner turmoil, simply continued to enjoy her dinner.
After a brief chat following the meal, Qin Yu excused herself to take a shower first.
"I'm going to take a shower first."
"Okay."
In the bathroom, warm water cascaded over Qin Yu's skin, bringing waves of soothing warmth. She exhaled deeply. Ever since I let Shenhe stay overnight, everything has become so strange.
And after this, Shenhe will use the same bathroom I just used...
Qin Yu shook her head abruptly, banishing the intrusive thoughts. It's already happened once, she reasoned. There were no issues last time, so there won't be any this time either.
But should I keep letting Shenhe stay over? We didn't agree it was just for one night.
If I get used to Shenhe's presence and let her into my life even more... that wouldn't be good.
But at this point, would it be awkward to say, "This is the only time you can stay over!"?
Lost in thought, Qin Yu stayed in the bathroom until she felt dizzy. Finally realizing how long she'd been in there, she hurriedly dried herself, got dressed, and left.
Back in the living room, Shenhe had put down her book.
"Let me help you dry your hair," she offered, reaching out.
"Ah... okay."
Qin Yu handed her the towel and sat with her back to Shenhe. Soon, she felt Shenhe lean in close.
Qin Yu couldn't help but let her mind wander again. If we stay overnight more often, will even this become routine?
Evaluation: B
Go, go, go.
"Your hair has grown longer," Shenhe suddenly remarked.
"Yeah, I haven't had a haircut in a while, so it just naturally grew out. Sorry if it's a bit of a hassle to dry," Qin Yu replied.
Maybe it's time for a trim.
But it certainly wasn't because she thought Shenhe would have trouble drying it. Who gets a haircut just because someone else finds it difficult to dry their hair? No, wait, maybe some people do, but I'm not one of them.
Shenhe responded softly, "It's not a hassle at all, and I don't mind it. Leaving it this long isn't so bad."
That would be way too long.
"Turn around."
Qin Yu turned and lowered her head, letting Shenhe vigorously rub her hair with the towel.
"All done. I'm going to wash up now," Shenhe announced.
"Go ahead."
Qin Yu had assumed Shenhe's change of clothes would be something new, but they were exactly the same as what she usually wore.
Could it be that Cloud Retainer prepared many sets of these clothes for her?
"Let me help you dry your hair!" Qin Yu offered.
Shenhe nodded in acceptance and sat down with her back turned.
Still as silky smooth as ever... As Qin Yu marveled at this, Shenhe spoke up:
"Speaking of which, why does your shampoo smell the same as Hu Tao's?"
"Hu Tao gave me this shampoo. I think it works pretty well," Qin Yu replied casually.
"I see..."
Well, Shenhe's using mine... Never mind, Qin Yu thought.
Shenhe's chest felt slightly heavy, Qin Yu's scent now completely overwhelmed by Hu Tao's.
She had recognized this feeling as "jealousy" before. But Qin Yu's unchanged demeanor and casual tone made Shenhe wonder if she was overthinking things.
"Turn around."
As Shenhe turned to face her, even the strands of hair brushing her forehead didn't distract her gaze from Qin Yu.
Why are you staring at me like that? Qin Yu wondered. "Shenhe?"
"Mm."
No, I'm asking what's wrong, and you just say "Mm"? What's that supposed to mean? Qin Yu grumbled inwardly. Well, it probably isn't anything important. If it were, Shenhe would tell me herself.
Meeting Shenhe's gaze, Qin Yu returned her stare.
After an inexplicable moment of mutual gazing, Qin Yu gently tugged at Shenhe's bangs, which nearly obscured her eyes, lifting them to reveal her full face.
"Wow—" Qin Yu exclaimed unconsciously.
"Wow?"
Snapping back to reality, Qin Yu's ears flushed. She stammered, "N-nothing. I just think Shenhe's eyes are really pretty."
Evaluation: A-
"I see."
When Qin Yu asked Shenhe about sleeping arrangements for the night, the answer was predictable: they would sleep together.
I knew it, Qin Yu thought.
Since nothing had happened the last time they slept together, there shouldn't be any problems this time either. Still, she felt a twinge of nervousness.
Fortunately, they sat on the bed chatting for a long time before going to sleep, which eased her anxiety.
Conversations with Shenhe might not cover many topics, but precisely because Qin Yu never felt awkward doing anything with her, even the most mundane topics could sustain their exchange.
As the hour approached, Qin Yu naturally grew sleepy.
Noticing her eyelids beginning to flutter, Shenhe asked, "Tired? Let's sleep now. Should we leave the light on or turn it off?"
"Turn it off," Qin Yu replied.
The only time Qin Yu could sleep with the lights off was when she was with Shenhe.
Accustomed to bright environments, Qin Yu cherished these rare moments of darkness. Of course, if she were alone, this fondness would transform into stark terror, as swiftly as a Sichuan opera mask change.
As Shenhe turned off the light, Qin Yu had already settled into bed.
Sensing the familiar presence, much of Qin Yu's fear of the dark instantly vanished. She lay on her side, gazing at Shenhe.
"Um... did you have fun tonight, Shenhe?"
"Yes, I enjoyed myself thoroughly. Thank you for inviting me."
Don't make it sound like I actually wanted you here! This is just fulfilling our agreement!
Qin Yu chuckled. "Because we made a promise, right? Alright, let's sleep now. We can go somewhere fun again tomorrow morning."
"Okay. I'm looking forward to it."
Qin Yu hoped her sleeping posture wouldn't become too awkward as she let sleep pull her consciousness into the darkness.
Noticing Qin Yu had already fallen into a peaceful slumber, Shenhe was about to close her own eyes when, accompanied by a soft rustling, that familiar warmth pressed tightly against her again.
Opening her eyes, she saw it was Qin Yu, just as she'd suspected.
Every time they slept together, Qin Yu would unconsciously pull Shenhe into a tight embrace.
Shenhe didn't mind this at all. On the contrary, the tighter the embrace, the more she felt a familial warmth.
She closed her eyes again.
After some time, Qin Yu's breathing suddenly became erratic. Shenhe, a light sleeper, noticed this and woke up. She saw Qin Yu's brow furrowed tightly, as if trapped in a nightmare.
Just as Shenhe hesitated whether to shake her awake, Qin Yu jolted awake.
"Haah—uh... Shenhe? You're still awake?" Qin Yu asked in a panic, her eyes widening as she saw Shenhe staring directly at her.
"I was asleep, but you seemed to be having a nightmare."
"I'm sorry. I must have woken you up," Qin Yu murmured softly.
Shenhe shook her head gently, her concern evident. "It's alright. I'm more worried about you. Has this been happening often lately?"
"N-no, not really," Qin Yu stammered.
Only occasionally.
But even "occasionally" would worry Shenhe. So even if it were happening "often," Qin Yu wouldn't dare admit it.
"Want to talk a bit longer?" Shenhe asked after a moment's thought.
She thought talking might help Qin Yu fall back asleep.
Feeling Shenhe's genuine concern, Qin Yu felt a flicker of warmth in her heart.
Evaluation: A+
I don't need it, she wanted to say, but the words caught in her throat.
Qin Yu was torn between not wanting to cause concern and craving attention. Caught in this contradictory state of mind, she was momentarily at a loss for what to do.
After a brief hesitation, Qin Yu nodded.
"I... actually have a question I want to ask you, Shenhe," she said softly. "Of course, you don't have to answer if you don't want to."
"Go ahead and ask," Shenhe replied.
Should I really ask this? The more Qin Yu felt Shenhe's care and kindness, the more she yearned to know the answer.
"...Shenhe, do you want me to become your family...?" Qin Yu whispered, her voice barely audible.
Evaluation: S
She keeps saying such strange things—that she feels like we're family, that I'm like her family... Qin Yu had previously tried to subtly probe whether Shenhe still saw her as a sister.
But Shenhe had denied it.
Since subtlety didn't work, I had to ask directly.
But the moment the words left her lips, Qin Yu regretted them.
This question was far too dangerous. Whether Shenhe answered "yes" or "no," it could irreversibly alter their current relationship.
"Ah—I just blurted it out," Qin Yu said hastily. "Sorry, just forget I said anything..."
Shenhe had clearly caught Qin Yu's question.
She opened her mouth to answer, but Qin Yu hastily clamped a hand over her mouth.
"You don't have to answer!"
Shenhe blinked, puzzled by Qin Yu's reaction.
Why ask a question only to stop me from answering? She truly couldn't comprehend it. But since Qin Yu didn't want her to answer, Shenhe simply nodded in acceptance.
Qin Yu finally relaxed, letting out a relieved sigh.
"I'm sorry for being so jumpy..." Qin Yu apologized sincerely.
"I don't understand why you wanted me to answer, yet wouldn't let me," Shenhe said plainly.
Qin Yu shrank back.
Yeah, it must seem really strange... Ah, if only I hadn't asked.
"However, I can answer your question anytime you want," Shenhe added softly.
Qin Yu's eyes widened slightly.
Shenhe murmured softly, "My answer has always been the same. You can ask me anytime."
Evaluation: SS-
Qin Yu's face burned so hot she instinctively pulled the blanket over her head.
"Mmm... thank you," she mumbled from beneath the covers.
After the initial elation, Qin Yu suddenly wondered: What exactly was Shenhe's unchanging answer? Though unlikely, what if it was "I don't want to"?
No, that's too pessimistic a guess.
Still, without asking, she could only speculate wildly. And without confirmation, she couldn't dismiss the possibility. This realization left Qin Yu feeling deeply unsettled.
But asking would inevitably change their relationship again.
Let's not think about that for now, Qin Yu thought, sighing softly. I'm really being such a handful. If Shenhe had made friends with anyone else, things would have gone much smoother.
The more she pondered, the more exhausted she felt. Qin Yu leaned her head out and took a deep breath.
"Let's sleep, shall we?" she asked with a smile.
"Mm-hmm."
This time, Qin Yu had a dream.
It wasn't a nightmare, but it was quite peculiar. In the dream, she was a child again, playing with a similarly childlike Shenhe.
They were like family.
But this was a nonexistent past, and Qin Yu felt no nostalgia for it, only the thought that this dream was rather pleasant.
"Qin Yu..."
"Huh?"
She blinked, snapping back to reality.
Qin Yu realized she was in the living room, and it was already the next day.
"You spaced out again," Shenhe said.
"Ah ha ha, sorry, sorry," Qin Yu chuckled sheepishly.
It was the afternoon of their second day off. Shenhe had said she wanted to talk to Qin Yu about something, so they had returned to their rented apartment.
Regaining her composure, Qin Yu asked with a smile, "What did you want to talk about, Shenhe?"
Shenhe fell into an inexplicable silence.
After a brief pause, she finally said, "I've just learned that I still have 'kin' in this world."
"........Huh?"