"To be honest, I never thought you'd accept so quickly. I figured I'd have to wait months, maybe even years. There was a chance I might never see you again in my lifetime," Hu Tao said.
That's a bit of an exaggeration, isn't it?
Setting aside the months, even years or a lifetime of separation seemed impossible... No, wait, maybe there was a possibility of that?
Qin Yu wasn't sure. If she hadn't taken this half-step forward with a positive mindset, and had instead continued to wallow in negativity, Hu Tao's words might have come true.
But here I am, standing right here, Qin Yu thought, forcing a dry laugh. "Ahaha, that's a bit of an exaggeration—"
Hu Tao pressed a finger to Qin Yu's lips, silencing her.
Evaluation: D-
"Since you've agreed, let's get started right away. First thing: no more 'Aha ha'."
"Ah ha..."
Hu Tao raised an eyebrow. "Hm?"
"Ah h-ello!"
"So stiff," Hu Tao sighed, shaking her head.
Well, what do you expect? Qin Yu muttered to herself. You can't just change something like that overnight!
"So, how do you plan to help me?" Qin Yu asked.
Please don't suggest anything weird.
"Didn't I already say? Just hang out with me casually. Act naturally, and I'll have you stripped bare in no time!" Hu Tao teased, playfully waving her hand.
In the blink of an eye, Qin Yu had retreated five meters.
"I apologize. Let's pretend that last bit didn't happen. I'm very sorry for the disturbance. I'll be going now..."
Qin Yu turned to leave, but Hu Tao darted forward and grabbed her hand.
"I was just kidding!" Hu Tao exclaimed, flustered.
I know. If you weren't kidding, I have no idea what I might have done, Qin Yu thought irritably, subtly pulling her hand free.
"Just hang out with you casually..." Qin Yu murmured.
That doesn't sound too difficult.
But where? Qin Yu thought. The location is crucial. If it's on the street or somewhere crowded, I definitely won't agree.
The risk was too great.
This time was just a test; there was no need to gamble so much.
Qin Yu asked, "Where will I accompany you?"
"My room."
For a moment, Qin Yu felt a surge of resistance, but after careful consideration, Hu Tao's room was indeed the most suitable option.
Her own room wouldn't work. Though empty, if anything were to happen, being in her own space might unintentionally trigger unwanted memories.
Renting a private room elsewhere would cost money, and if there were eavesdroppers...
No choice.
Qin Yu sighed inwardly, resigned. "Alright, but I hope you won't do anything... strange."
"Strange things? Like what?" Hu Tao asked, feigning innocence.
Qin Yu strongly suspected Hu Tao was playing dumb. She didn't want to spell it out, but if she didn't set clear boundaries, Hu Tao might overstep.
Maintaining the right distance is essential in any relationship. Setting appropriate boundaries... Qin Yu thought this principle should apply here too.
Even so, Qin Yu blushed crimson as she whispered, "You know perfectly well, right? It's about..."
"It's about...?"
Qin Yu averted her gaze. "You know... that."
"Which 'that'? Oh come on, I can't understand if you don't explain clearly! I'm not a mind reader!" Hu Tao shook her head dramatically, feigning confusion.
Qin Yu's mood soured slightly, but she still forced herself to clarify.
"Kissing... and stuff like that."
Evaluation: D+
Qin Yu felt embarrassed. She hadn't grown accustomed to such behavior and naturally couldn't bring herself to speak of it casually. Still, she thought it was better this way. Getting used to it would be a little terrifying.
Hu Tao suddenly understood, and, unusually bashful, she said, "But we've done it several times before, haven't we?"
Evaluation: C
Hearing that only made Qin Yu more displeased.
"Back then, you were clearly..."
Qin Yu desperately wanted to call Hu Tao out, but if she pointed out Hu Tao's ulterior motives—that Hu Tao was spouting twisted logic to deceive her—it would only make her look easily tricked and manipulated.
After all, she had gone along with it at the time.
So Qin Yu couldn't bring herself to say it, instead silently glaring at Hu Tao.
Hu Tao knew exactly what Qin Yu meant anyway.
"Alright, alright, I get it! I won't do anything you hate," Hu Tao said guiltily.
"Good."
Though I don't trust you.
Hu Tao led Qin Yu to her room. The room's appearance and atmosphere were exactly as Qin Yu had seen and felt before.
As Hu Tao closed the door, Qin Yu's heart raced. A sliver of tension made her body stiffen slightly.
To distract herself, Qin Yu asked casually:
"You said I'd keep you company in your room... What exactly does that mean?"
Playing chess? Chatting?
Hu Tao crossed her arms and grinned. "Don't overthink it! Just do whatever comes to mind—that's what being carefree is all about. And even though I said you're keeping me company, you can actually just do your own thing."
"Will that even help?"
"Of course! As long as you believe it and act on it, it will! Ultimately, the main goal is for you to get used to being with people while showing your true self."
Hu Tao sat on the bed, gesturing with her hands. "It's like when you bring a new kitten home. At first, it's not familiar with your place—it doesn't recognize its own scent. So it trembles constantly, scared to death, right?"
"That's about right."
But we're talking about people here, not cats, Qin Yu thought, secretly grumbling. Don't use cats as metaphors—especially when the metaphor is me! Yet, despite her internal protests, a sense of clarity began to dawn within her.
"So... I can just hang out in this room?"
"Exactly! Just don't scratch the walls or the table corners," Hu Tao said with a light laugh, kicking her feet.
I told you, I'm not a cat! Qin Yu pouted inwardly.
Then Hu Tao spoke again.
"But I do want you to promise me one thing."
"What is it?"
Hu Tao raised her index finger. "That is: express your feelings properly. It's fine if you genuinely don't want to talk, but you can't keep bottling everything up. You have so much on your mind, don't you?"
She sees right through me, Qin Yu thought, feeling a wave of embarrassment wash over her.
"But what does this have to do with...?"
The very reason thoughts remained unspoken was because some things simply couldn't be said aloud.
For instance, This boss is fucking disgusting! Could she ever voice that?
[Boss, you're fucking disgusting!]
The consequences of such an outburst were painfully obvious.
[I'm firing you!]
Thus, concealing one's true feelings was necessary, Qin Yu reasoned.
Hu Tao said earnestly, "Of course, it's about limiting you. Are you a particularly impulsive person?"
Ugh.
"Do you tend to think negatively in interpersonal relationships?"
Ugh.
"If so, you probably have trouble controlling yourself, right? One slip and you lean too far in one direction. Once you start hiding things, you can't stop. And that just leads to bottling everything up until you crack."
Qin Yu had no retort.
Realizing Hu Tao had pinpointed her flaws so accurately, she felt deeply uneasy.
Hu Tao smiled again. "That's why I'm so glad you came to me! This isn't exactly an illness, but you can't just wait for it to go away. If you can take the first step, there's no reason you can't learn to express yourself."
Hu Tao can actually say such things? Qin Yu thought, surprised.
Amidst her astonishment, Qin Yu felt her spirits lift considerably at Hu Tao's praise. Confidence gradually replaced her anxiety, growing stronger with each passing moment.
Yet she remained puzzled. "Expressing... I still don't quite understand."
"Why are you saying things that sound so much like Shenhe?"
"I'm not."
Hu Tao leaned back against the bed, crossed her legs, and gently kicked her foot. The smooth, pale skin beneath her hot pants swayed with the motion, clearly showing how relaxed she was.
This relaxed atmosphere seemed to permeate the entire room.
"Fishy Treasure!"
"Eh? Oh, what's up?"
"I want a kiss," Hu Tao said shyly.
Evaluation: B-
Such directness made Qin Yu blush crimson. She couldn't help but glare at Hu Tao—was this her real motive all along?
"No."
"Exactly like that."
"Huh?"
Hu Tao leaned forward, resting one hand on her leg and the other propping up her cheek. Grinning mischievously, she said, "Just express your feelings more directly, like this."
"If I want to touch you and you don't like it, slap my hand away. If I want to kiss you and you're not into it, push me away. Simple, right?"
Qin Yu understood, but despite this explanation, she couldn't shake the feeling that Hu Tao's analogy revealed some ulterior motive. Was she truly not planning to do anything to her?
"Lost in thought again?" Hu Tao said.
"...Is this what you really want to do?" Qin Yu asked.
Hu Tao's gaze drifted away as she whistled nonchalantly.
"Let's make one thing clear: don't even think about it," Qin Yu warned, still uneasy.
"Impossible not to think about it, Fishy Treasure. You're just too pretty," Hu Tao replied.
Ugh... Qin Yu took a step back, highly alert. "Then at least don't act on it."
"I know, I know! Don't worry!" Hu Tao patted her chest, making a solemn vow.
Can I really trust her?