Emily's POV
"So what's your grand plan?" I asked Lucas.
I turned my face away, as I had begun to go red in my cheeks.
I've had a few crushes, and admired a few hotties at the gym, in transit, and even back in school, but I never really got close to any of them, and I could confidently say that Lucas was my first major contact with the opposite sex in ten years!!
"Stay the night with me." He said, and looked me in the eyes. "It's not like you've got a choice, I just want to make you feel like you have some measure of control over the situation." He added and chuckled.
"I'm gonna ask again, cause I get the feeling that you didn't hear me well the first time." I said, trying to contain the smile creeping on my face. My body was acting against me. It's not what I planned nor expected.
"Emily, the ritual is about to begin. And there's no sweeter way than to do it with your back against that bed. That alone could make me transform." Lucas replied.
I literally saw his muscles flex a bit, and I couldn't tell if it was voluntary or involuntary.
Maybe a few years ago, I'd have given my life for this moment. A moment so sinfully emotional.
"I don't think I understand anything you are saying." I replied to him
My heart was beating fast, too fast.
I clenched my fist to help myself, but I did it so clumsily that he noticed and even chuckled a bit to my shame.
I could feel the blood coursing through my veins.
I was extra sensitive to everything.
Lucas blinked, and as soon as he snapped his eyes open, they shone with a yellow strip cutting down his iris vertically.
I took a strained breath in. I wasn't expecting that.
I hadn't met Lucas's wolf yet, but I could bet my waning life on the fact that he equaled Damon's.
It made the thought of him appeal more to me.
"You don't have to. You have a pretty wolf." He said, looking in my eyes.
Lucas had come so close, his face was just a few inches away from mine. His canines gradually grew longer, right before me.
I had PTSD from man-wolf's transformation before me.
Every single time Damon changed form, it was to beat me to pulp.
Life with Damon was a horrible cycle. I still ask myself how I managed to stay so long in that situation that I called marriage.
"Never met her." I replied to Lucas. He was staring me so intently in the eye.
"You should." He said and smiled. . I almost smiled in return, but he held my face, and my eyelids down. "You can't close these eyes now, love."
"Please." I begged. My eyes were weak, and had begun to hurt.
I felt the forced tears run down my face. I'd begin to feel a peppery sensation in my eyes, and they hurt so bad, I wish I could snap them shut.
I grabbed Lucas's hands with my hands, begging him to let go of me.
My eyes were open, but I couldn't see properly.
"This is where your demons are." He answered, his voice was more of a growl, and hard to make out the words.
"Stop!" I screamed at him with my last strength, and clawed at his hands.
But Lucas was relentless.
"I'm sorry." He said, and left me.
I felt like a shell, a dried empty shell.
"What did I ever do to you?" I asked, whimpering.
"Emily, I swear, I was never going to hurt you." He said, taking my hand.
"No." I said weakly and took them out of his.
"I hope you feel how I feel right now." I said, and turned my head to face the wall.
"Emily, all I did was speak to your wolf, Vynara." He said, and came round, thankfully, he was obstructed by the walls.
"I don't want to talk to you." I whispered,cause that's all my voice could amount to.
"It's the only way I could help!" He yelled at me.
I covered my ears with my hands.
"I'm sorry." He said again, and came closer, even touching me. "Can I hold you?" he asked, but I didn't answer.
The answer was clear, or was supposed to be.
"Emily?" He called out again.
"Leave me alone." I said.
I wished I had the strength to get off his bed and walk out of his life, a lifeless memory that he'd soon forget.
"I can't." He said. "And I'm sorry, about earlier. I didn't mean to make you feel that way. Grace and I have history."
"I don't think I care." I replied to him.
Funny stuff, I'd begun to feel better.
"I hate how tonight went." He sighed.
"Don't act like it's not how you all operate." I chuckled sadly. "You know, since I was young, like really little, I've felt apart from the werewolf world. Like I'm somewhere I didn't belong. Every single day that has passed since then is a confirmation of my gut feeling. I should learn to trust myself more." I said.
"That's not true," He countered.
"You all taste like poison, every single one of you. The only one I once liked is no longer of the living. I owe nothing to your circus." I said firmly.
I was already strong enough to sit up, and so I did.
I was literally counting down till when I'd grab my bag and leave.
Somewhere between all the chaos, I'd lost my mask.
"Whatever does that mean?" He asked me.
"That I hate myself for getting me into this situation." I smiled sadly.
I felt like I had enough strength to get out, so I stood up and scooped up my purse. "I want to go." I said to Lucas.
Strangely, and opposite to what I expected, he picked his car keys and obliged.
I led the way back downstairs, refusing any help from him even though I almost wobbled to the ground a number of times.