"Victoria Housekeeping?" Billy scrutinized Ellen from head to toe, then back again, scratching his head before a sudden realization hit.
"Oh, I remember! Boss Nicole did say something about hiring a housekeeping service and told me to come greet them."
"Oh." Ellen tapped her foot impatiently. "What do I need to do? Can we make this quick? I've got a class reunion to attend."
"Sure, sure!" Billy, eyeing Ellen's maid outfit with stockings, rubbed his hands together. "So, what kind of services do you usually offer?"
"Tch." Ellen shot Billy a look and pulled out a flyer. "Read it yourself. Anything listed here, we can do."
"And if it's not listed?"
The next moment, a gust of force swept in as Ellen whipped out a pair of hydraulic cutters, pressing them against Billy's neck.
Billy dropped to his knees. "Sorry, sorry! I won't do it again, spare me!"
"Pick one already!"
…
"Ahem, just one question." Billy held the flyer, pointing to the first service description. "What's this 'Lust~Strike~Not~Able~' service?"
"Handling a bathroom strike that's out of service?"
Billy squinted, giving a "you're messing with me" look. "Uh, right, right, of course that's what it is. So, what's this 'Cloth~Drag~Wait~Clean~' service?"
"Laundry, mopping, and full cleaning service."
"Oh, I see. And this last one, 'Shark~Shot~Shadow~'?"
"Take a photo with me, share it, and redeem a gift service."
Billy scratched his head. "I don't get it. What's taking a photo with you got to do with sharks?"
"That's part of the hidden services, which require extra payment to unlock. Want to unlock it?" Ellen pulled out a QR code. "Scan and pay to access."
"Uh… didn't you just say there weren't any? So, what's the hidden service?"
"Cosplay service."
"Ding." Billy scanned and paid at lightning speed. "Can you turn into Sam?"
"No." Ellen pulled a balloon from her pocket, quickly blew it into a shark tail, and attached it to her lower back. "There, now you can call me Shark Girl."
Billy blinked, his expression screaming "you're really messing with me." "Sigh, if only the service was as exciting as the name."
"Swish." The hydraulic cutters were back at his neck.
Billy collapsed to his knees. "Sorry, sorry! I won't tell anyone about today!"
Billy led Ellen inside. "This house is new, so no major issues. Just a tiny little thing."
"Tch." Ellen crossed her arms. "Spit it out."
"The sofa was moved from our old rental. It's got snack crumbs stuck in the seams that we can't get out."
Ellen nodded, then sliced the sofa in half with one swing. "Throw it out."
"Makes sense." Billy brought Ellen to a safe. "This is my boss's safe. We can't get it open. Can you—"
Before he finished, a flash of cold steel struck, cleaving the safe in half, revealing its wooden interior.
"Holy—! Boss Nicole's been fooling me with a wooden box?" Billy gave Ellen a thumbs-up. "Nice, nice, you've got skills."
"Anything else you need?"
"Nope, nope. A few more swings, and either Nicole or Su Chen will have my head."
"Thank you for your patronage. The total fee is…"
"Wait a sec." Billy interrupted. "Just curious, what's this 'Thrill~Shark~Bite~' service?"
Ellen suddenly opened her mouth, pointing to her teeth. "Press!"
Billy, with trepidation, pressed one. Click. A tooth sank in.
"Whoa! That's fun!"
He pressed one after another until…
Ellen suddenly chomped down hard on Billy's finger.
"AAAAHH!!!"
A piercing scream echoed through the Cunning Hares' house.
"Wow, is it New Year's? Why's there a pig-slaying scream?"
Stelle and Yunli were eating ramen at a nearby shop.
"No way, New Year's is ages away! Slurp~" Yunli chugged the ramen broth in one go. "Burp~"
She signaled "1" to the shop owner. "Boss, one more bowl."
Cough, cough, cough! Stelle choked on her soup. "You're still eating? Little sis Yunli, that's your seventh bowl!"
"Hey, I'm a martial artist. This is normal, okay? Besides, I'm only half full."
Stelle's mouth twitched. "Looks like Yanqing's salary is pretty good!"
"What'd you say?"
"I said you look a lot like someone I know."
Yunli clasped her hands and bowed to the shop owner. "Thanks, boss, I'm digging in!"
Slurping noodles, she responded to Stelle. "Look alike? Who?"
"Last time I visited Uncle Yang's school, there was this white-haired kid slurping noodles like crazy all day."
Slurp~ Yunli lifted the bowl, burying her face in it. "Wow, so satisfying! Boss, one more!"
Stelle stared at her barely touched ramen, lost in thought.
Maybe this is what they call eating stamina?
How rich is Yanqing, anyway?
Just then, a man in a cowboy hat stormed out of the coffee shop next door.
He gritted his teeth and shouted, "What in tarnation? Is this coffee for humans?"
The coffee shop owner rushed out, apologizing. "Sorry, sir, that coffee was made by an intern. My mistake." He wiped sweat from his brow with a handkerchief.
"Hey, you son of a gun, you're good at passing the buck, huh? Blaming everything on interns or temps? If she's an intern, how'd this coffee even make it to the table?"
"My deepest apologies. I thought the grounds were prepped, and it's a semi-automatic machine with all settings done. She just had to serve the cup. I had no idea it'd turn out like this."
"Oh, really? You think I'm a three-year-old? How's something this darn ridiculous even possible?"
"It's true! You're lucky to still be standing. Most customers would be under a white sheet by now."
The cowboy-hatted man, seeing the owner's sincere attitude, felt he wasn't lying. "Uh…"
Yunli nudged Stelle's arm. "Hey, as the big sister of miHoYo's interactive city boss, aren't you gonna check it out?"
Stelle shook her head. "Uh, how do I put it? I feel like I know the intern that coffee shop owner's talking about."
"Really?"
"Yup."
Sure enough,
a red-haired woman slowly walked out of the coffee shop. "Sorry, sorry, I made that coffee. Maybe it's all the machinery? Let me brew you a new one, fully manual."
"It's Aunt Himeko!" Yunli pointed at Himeko at the shop's entrance.
Stelle pulled out her phone and texted Su Chen: "How long till you're here? It's chaos. Not just a maid now, there's a cowboy, and big sis Himeko's here too."
Beep.
Su Chen replied quickly, "Keep them calm, I'm stealing a car and coming over."