243 Yuri: How could my sister's boyfriend possibly be a high school student?!
After getting off the car, Hikigaya Hachiman made no stop and immediately sprinted full speed back home.
The moment he opened and locked the door, the first thing he did was strip off his clothes and dash into the bathroom.
He had to wash off the scent on his body.
After all, today at school, he had been in contact with way too many girls.
The most prominent scents were from Yumeko and Sachiko.
Hikigaya Hachiman, with his excellent counter-surveillance instincts, knew all too well that this kind of detail wouldn't escape the attention of that international police officer.
After quickly eliminating any trace of scent, Hachiman headed to Miss Yor's room.
He hesitated for a moment, then pressed down on the doorknob of Miss Yor's room.
He had no intention of snooping on her privacy, but if her detective brother were to enter the room and accidentally discover something that could expose their identities, that would be a real problem.
Hachiman's eyes scanned the room and quickly landed on Miss Yor's equipment box. He walked over quickly, took a deep breath, and unlatched the lock.
"Seriously... Just how careless is she? Something this important, and she didn't even bother to put a password on it?"
Hikigaya Hachiman was both frustrated and amused.
Sure enough, inside was Miss Yor's assassin uniform. A set made of luxurious, silky black fabric. A dagger that gleamed with a chilling light. And— With his sharp eyes, Hachiman even spotted a piece of T-shaped fabric.
His eyebrow twitched.
"So even the uniform includes intimate wear now?"
Without letting his mind wander, Hachiman quickly confirmed the contents, closed the box, and carried it to his room, hiding it in the most inconspicuous corner.
Once that was done, he returned to Miss Yor's room to check if there were any other potential clues left behind.
His gaze turned to Yor's desk. Scattered messily on the desk were several books:
"The Tyrannical Female Boss' Secret Love in the End Times"
"LT, Young Boss' Secret Romance in the Last World" "Psychology of Female Love" ...
"...?"
Hikigaya Hachiman slowly formed a question mark in his mind.
Wait a minute, is this the kind of weird stuff lady assassins usually read?
Good thing he was vigilant.
If these books with those risqué titles were discovered, it would definitely raise suspicion.
He took a deep breath and only left "Psychology of Female Love" on the desk, then gathered all the other pink-tinted titled books and moved them into his room, hiding them deep in the back.
After taking care of everything, Hachiman finally let out a sigh of relief.
He walked into the kitchen, intending to make something to drink.
The first thing he noticed was the black tea placed in the farthest corner.
When he picked it up, he saw the label was written in a minor foreign language.
"It's probably from somewhere in Europe… I don't remember buying tea like this. So it must be from Miss Yor."
Hachiman didn't doubt it further.
He opened the packaging and casually brewed three cups of tea, placing them neatly on the tea table. Sitting properly on the sofa, he waited patiently for the sibling pair to arrive.
'Come to think of it, why am I pretending to be the boyfriend again? Aren't I just Yor-san's roommate?' 'Though I may have overlooked a few things, the boyfriend role is a better cover after all.'
The steaming black tea exuded a rich aroma that was both soothing and refreshing.
Not long after, the sound of the entrance opening echoed. Hikigaya stood up to greet them.
.
.
.
Yuri Briar had already mentally prepared himself.
If the other party sincerely loved his sister, was of good character, a bright and earnest man, then he would wholeheartedly give his blessing.
But if the man was taking advantage of his kind, naïve sister who lacked romantic experience— Then he would call upon all his connections in Japan to teach this bastard a good lesson.
What kind of person would his brother-in-law be? Just before entering the room, Yuri had thought through many possibilities.
Given his sister's personality, first of all, the man wouldn't be bad-looking.
Second, he'd likely be around 30 to 32 years old, a successful, mature adult.
Judging by the quality of this apartment, that seemed to be supported—at least financially, the man shouldn't be lacking.
"Well then, let's see what kind of man actually won my sister's heart!"
At this moment, Yuri's aura was so intense it was almost blinding.
Under his sharp and piercing gaze, even the "ghosts" hidden in someone's heart would be drawn out and magnified.
Even someone who merely peeked at inappropriate websites would feel like they were committing a crime under this pressure.
The door opened.
"Blair, you're back."
"You bastard—!" Yuri was about to seize the initiative with his voice, but the words got stuck in his throat.
He instinctively sized up the boy in front of him, whose hair still had droplets of water clinging to it.
This young face… there was no way he was a successful 30-something-year-old man?!
Huh?!!
Could this guy be the little brother of his sister's boyfriend?! As Yuri got a clearer look at Hachiman, his pupils contracted. He instinctively asked:
"May I ask who you are?"
With a plan in mind, Hachiman smoothly took the bag from Miss Yor's hands, intending to leave a good impression.
He enthusiastically stepped aside:
"Hello, you must be Mr. Yuri, right? Blair has told me about you."
"Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Hikigaya Hachiman. I am… Blair's boyfriend."
"HAH?!"
Yuri staggered back in shock, as if he had seen something utterly incomprehensible. It was as though he was meeting a whole new version of his sister.
He said in disbelief:
"S-Sis, just what have you been doing in Tokyo?!"
"This—this guy, he hasn't even reached adulthood yet, has he?! This is illegal, you know!"
Slice.
Yor's face went completely dark.
The cold frost on her face was enough to freeze someone solid.
With a whooshing sound that sliced through the air, her merciless hand chop stopped just inches in front of Yuri's throat.
Just a bit closer, and she would've cut into the major artery beating strongly in her brother's neck.
Then Yor's face curled into a chilling smile, and she spoke in a tone devoid of warmth: "Yuri, that was extremely rude. Didn't you hear Hachiman-kun invite you inside?"
"I-I understand…" Yuri stiffly swallowed his saliva and, trembling, began to move.
Even though he had become a feared veteran detective—respected by peers, praised by superiors— In front of Yor Blair, the fear of being dominated returned instantly.
Back when they lived together in the orphanage, Yor Blair had given him love—and fear—from all directions.
Big sister's love, motherly love, fatherly love… And similarly, her fear was also all three combined.
That deeply ingrained fear forced him to pull himself together despite his shock, and with a million questions bubbling inside him, he stepped into the room.
Chapter 244: Sleeping Red Tea × Little Brother Present
"Ah, you two siblings probably haven't seen each other in a long time. I'll go make a couple of snacks for you."
Hikigaya scratched his head and slipped away into the kitchen like he had oil on the soles of his feet.
After all, they weren't really a couple.
The longer he stayed in front of this international criminal investigator, the more likely it was that problems would arise.
"Tch, who wants to eat the snacks you made anyway!!" Yuri scowled, glancing in the direction Hikigaya had disappeared.
He just couldn't believe it—his sister's boyfriend was actually younger than him and looked like a high school student?
"Yuri, why does your face look so terrifying?"
Miss Yor wore golden cone-shaped earrings on her fair earlobes, glinting under the lights.
Dressed in a red knitted sweater, she looked every bit the image of a married woman.
'A married woman?!' Yuri felt like his heart was shattering.
"You're nervous, aren't you?"
"No, I'm not nervous. The one who should be nervous is that guy!"
Yuri followed Miss Yor to the sofa and sat down, hands tightly clenched, his expression dark like storm clouds gathering before a downpour—ready to unleash thunder at any moment.
After some hesitation, he decided to cut straight to the point:
"Sister, can you tell me why you chose a high school boy to be your boyfriend?" "I haven't accepted this relationship yet."
"B-Because..." Miss Yor's face flushed red, and she looked pleadingly at Hikigaya for help, her body language awkward and shy.
She was an assassin, not someone skilled in crafting convincing lies.
This kind of thing—well, it had to be left to a professional like Hikigaya Hachiman.
Still pretending to wipe dishes at the kitchen counter, Hikigaya sighed deeply.
Sure enough, even if it was just pretend, when you're the "boyfriend," you're the one who has to take all the responsibility!
He was shaking with frustration.
Finally, Hikigaya brought over a tray of instant snacks to the sofa.
After placing it down, he naturally sat beside Miss Yor—
At a dangerously close distance.
From this distance, Hikigaya could faintly feel the elasticity of Miss Yor's body against his thigh.
Even her body heat seeped through the barely-there space between them.
"Blair, you didn't tell Yuri about us?"
"What we have is true love, right? If that's the case, shouldn't we be honest with each other's family?"
A fastball straight to Miss Yor's forehead. She covered her mouth, her face rapidly turning red:
"Th-That's because I forgot!"
Hah?! Hikigaya felt like he was turning to stone.
Wasn't this the kind of situation where you should say you were worried about the age gap?
Saying you "forgot" just screams "guilty" to Yuri!
"Mm, mm. Well, if it's my sister, forgetting something like that isn't impossible." Yuri stroked his chin and nodded seriously, agreeing with his sister's excuse.
Damn it, I lost the first round so easily!
Trying to cover up his defeat, Yuri picked up the red tea Hikigaya had brewed earlier and took a sip.
Smacking his lips, he was surprised at how good it tasted.
Could it be... this guy won my sister over with food?
Yuri put down the teacup and narrowed his sharp eyes at Hikigaya, beginning the second round:
"Hikigaya... right? How did you meet my sister? If I'm not mistaken, you're still a high school student?"
"Ahaha, well..." Hikigaya scratched his head like he was embarrassed and glanced at Miss Yor, then replied with the lie he had long prepared:
"We first met at a restaurant."
"I had just finished school and bumped into Miss Yor at the restaurant."
"Which restaurant exactly? How many times have you eaten together? At which meal did you start dating? And how do you two address each other in private?"
A barrage of questions hit Hikigaya like cannon fire. Yuri's intense gaze seemed like it could swallow him whole.
This guy... is this the occupational hazard of being a detective? It's like he's interrogating a suspect.
But Hikigaya was already prepared for this type of questioning. Calmly, he replied:
"It was at a restaurant near Hyakkou Academy. I think it's called Yukihira Diner?" "We had dinner together seven times." "We decided to officially become a couple on the fifth meal, then started living together. But even though we live together, it was initially just to split the expensive rent—Miss Yor and I sleep in separate rooms."
"As for what we call each other in private..." Hikigaya gave Miss Yor a meaningful look and said with emotion:
"Yor."
"H-Hachiman~"
Crack—
Yuri felt his heart completely shatter, crumbling into pieces and getting ground beneath Hikigaya's feet.
"Yor? Even I don't call my sister that intimately..." They're already at the stage of using first names?!
Yuri's heart was filled with bitterness, but as a seasoned detective who'd spent years facing high-IQ criminals, he quickly picked up on a flaw. Taking a deep breath, he refocused:
"No... why do you remember all of this so clearly? Things like how many times you've eaten together—normal people wouldn't recall that kind of detail."
"Unless... you anticipated my questions from the start, and all of your answers are lies?"
Smart guy... Hikigaya took a sip of tea as well—he had expected this.
That restaurant was partly owned by Yukinoshita Haruno, and just one piece of intel was enough to link up all his answers.
He wasn't afraid of Yuri investigating.
Even so, as flawless as his answers were, they gave Yuri something to target— Because they were too perfect, it felt unnatural.
But Hikigaya never intended to fool a police officer with a few answers anyway. He had already prepared his trump card.
"There's no point in lying to you, Mr. Yuri."
"As for why I remember all those things so clearly—" Hikigaya pointed at his temple, smiling brightly:
"It's because I can be considered Japan's number-one serious honor student~ Isn't it normal for someone like me to remember every little detail about Miss Yor?"
"Just like you're a detective and like to get to the bottom of things, I, as a good student, want to remember every little detail about someone important to me."
"Hachiman~" Miss Yor covered her small cherry-like mouth.
Under the glow of the light, one could see the misty shimmer in her eyes—glistening with emotion.
"Not a bad performance, Miss Yor," Hachiman silently praised.
From his own observational standpoint, her deeply moved expression didn't show a single flaw.
It looked like she was genuinely touched—from the bottom of her heart.
Wait, from the bottom of her heart?
Hachiman started to feel that something was off.
"A good student? How could this be…"
"Yes. If you don't believe me, Mr. Yuri, you can check with my high school or junior high. I've always been in the top three of the grade in every exam~"
"I was going to check even if you didn't remind me!" Yuri clutched his head in despair.
He felt utterly defeated, as if there was no way to return to the kind of relationship he used to have with his sister.
The bitter tea entered his throat and pierced his heart.
Yuri suddenly raised the teacup and started pouring it into his stomach with a clang clang clang. Then he slammed the cup heavily on the table, his vision blurred as he stared at his sister and Hachiman.
"Proof… give me proof!"
"Huh?"
"Where's the evidence? All that talk just now—those were just claims! I need conclusive proof, solid evidence that you're actually a couple!"
"Hikigaya, you bastard… What exactly does my sister see in you? Is it because you're just a bit taller, a bit better looking, a bit more accomplished, and a bit younger?"
This guy… is he drunk? Hachiman was puzzled.
He'd heard of people getting rowdy on alcohol—but tea?
But how to prove it? He couldn't really go and kiss Miss Yor… If he did, wouldn't the fake relationship become real?
Smack~
A sweet, sticky sound echoed in the living room. Hachiman's pupils shrank.
The warm, soft sensation from his cheek, and the irresistible force that turned his head sideways—before he could react, those sexy, moist lips had already pressed against his.
For the first time, Hachiman experienced the warmth of the assassin lady.
It was a brief touch—but undeniable.
Hachiman stood frozen.
In front of him, Miss Yor wiped the corner of her mouth with a dazed expression.
Her eyes seemed to say: If I didn't do this, we'd still be suspected, right? Please don't read too much into it, Mr. Hikigaya. This is all just to maintain the lie...
"Hachiman~ Wasn't this just proof of our relationship? We do this all the time when Yuri isn't around~"
"Didn't expect you to have such a shy side, Hachiman~"
Miss Yor held her burning red face in her hands and let out a silly giggle. Only she knew that her heartbeat was speeding up uncontrollably.
She had really said it.
She'd actually called him Hachiman!
That name should belong to Miss Jabami, right? Yet here she was, secretly using it herself.
This feeling of stealing someone... It gave Miss Yor an indescribable high.
Hachiman felt his head spinning, like he'd been poisoned by something strong enough to knock someone out cold.
"Eh? Yuri, what's wrong?"
Miss Yor spoke with concern. Her younger brother looked completely wasted, wobbling unsteadily on the couch. But all he drank was tea?
Her gaze instinctively moved to the teacups on the table. She picked up her own and sniffed it.
"Wait—this is the special tea I use for missions…?"
"Why did Hachiman-kun brew that?"
Crap!!
Yor suddenly remembered—she hadn't put away that special blend of tea.
She'd just left it out on the kitchen counter.
That tea—just one sip and a normal person would fall into a deep sleep.
Even with training and resistance, no one could withstand the effects for long.
Most importantly, the tea didn't knock people out immediately.
Instead, it made them feel drunk, lured them into drowsiness, and then pulled them into deep sleep.
And Hachiman and Yuri—how much had they drunk?!
"Sister… I… I'm so sleepy~"
Yuri felt like his soul was about to leave his body.
In his memories, Yor Blair was supposed to be shy and cut off from all men—except himself.
But what had he just witnessed? His own sister, without any hesitation, had kissed Hachiman Hikigaya—on the lips.
Unacceptable…!!
"Lord, please take me back into your embrace!"
Tears streamed down Yuri's face as his eyelids grew heavier.
"If you're sleepy, then go sleep," Yor quickly helped her brother up and supported him toward her room.
If he found out later that the sleepiness was due to the knockout tea, things would get complicated. Better to fool him while he was still foggy.
Soon, Yuri was dumped onto Miss Yor's big bed.
"Sis… then where will you sleep?" Yuri asked, forcing himself to stay awake.
"I… I'll sleep with Hachiman-kun~" Yor blushed furiously and stammered.
She fled the room immediately after saying that.
Left alone, Yuri Blair stared blankly at the unfamiliar ceiling.
Like some divine signal, he forced himself to turn his head and spotted a book on the desk. The title read: Psychology of Female Love.
Bang.
Yuri unwillingly closed his eyes, all remaining doubts in his heart vanishing.
His sister—his precious cabbage that he'd protected and disciplined since they were children—had really run off with a boy ten years younger.
"Snore snore snore~" Like a wild boar his cabbage had tamed since childhood, Yuri fell into baby-like slumber.
Hachiman Hikigaya leaned his head on his hand, sitting on the couch, and felt his eyelids becoming unbearably heavy.
Having experienced being drugged multiple times before, Hachiman had built up some resistance.
He'd also drunk less tea than Yuri, so he'd managed to hold out this long.
The problem lay in the tea.
But now, there was something more important than the tea.
"Miss Yor, so… is this matter settled now?"
"Eh… mm." Yor nodded shyly. "It looks like Yuri truly believes in us."
"Phew…" Hachiman exhaled deeply, his eyelids drooping. "That's good. So… what's with this tea?"
"It's a tool I used to knock out targets during missions!" Yor explained with a red face.
Hachiman shakily raised a hand. "You shouldn't just leave stuff like that lying around, Miss Yor!"
And with that, his raised hand fell limply.
His upright posture collapsed like a fallen pillar, tipping over to the side of the couch.
And thus—none survived.
"Hachiman-kun? Hachiman-kun?"
Yor tentatively called out.
After confirming that Hachiman had fallen asleep, an unexplainable dark impulse began to rise within her heart…