Zauran was still lying on the ground, his body trembling uncontrollably. His breath came out in ragged gasps, each attempt at a voice ending in a crushed sigh. His eyes fixed on Sayda, and tears flowed down. His hand squeezed hard the wounds on his neck, but the blood had already split, creating a dark pool beneath his head that threatened to swallowed him whole.
Sayda's eyes widened. His hands trembled violently, frozen in helplessness. As he watched Zauran dying before him, he reached out a hand, as if to help, but no strength followed.
"H... Hey... Hey"
The blood splattered across Sayda's face trickled down in crimson streams, sliding over his cheek before dripping onto the trembling hand that still clutched the knife. He lowered his eyes to his trembling grip, his hand drenched in blood, the knife's tip stained a deep, merciless red.
A cold shudder went down his spine as he gaze lingered on the crimson-coated blade. His fingers lost their strength, and the knife slid from his hand, clattering against the ground like a hollow ring. It was as if the weight of the blood had sapped every ounce of strength from his body. He couldn't move, captivated by the sight of the knife he use to kill laying on the floor.
"I'm... a murderer... ?"
Suddenly —puff!— a spray of deep red blood spurted out of Zauran's mouth, painting the cold forest floor. His eyes widened, crimson vein swelling until they consumed his entire eyeballs. His trembling body gradually weakened. The fingers that had been scratching the ground with the last of his strength now fell limp, frozen in stiffness.
In the suffocating silence, Zauran's body went still. No more struggle, nor breath. Only the stillness of a corpse, with Sayda, the unwilling killer, as its lone witness.
"What is this feeling... I... I'm a murderer... I KILL PEOPLE WITH MY OWN HAND"
Sayda looked down and saw his hands drowned in deep red blood. Trembling, he froze, then, all at once, the world collapsed into pitch black. Darkness swallowed everything, leaving only Sayda trapped in the weight of his guilt. From the void, a black hand reached out and seized him... then another... then another, until countless hand clawed at every inch of his body.
"This feeling... why...?"
The black hands covered his entire body, until the only part left was his face. Then, from the depths of the darkness, a final hand reached out, slowly approaching to cover his face… suddenly, another sound broke the void, warm, gentle and familiar...
"SAYDA..."
PUFF !
everything vanished, disappeared, the darkness that almost engulfed him, disappeared after hearing a woman calling his name and slowly memories began to flicker in his mind...
Sayda, an nine-year-old boy, was seen crouching on the floor of his house, squeezing ants with his small fingers. With an angry face, red spots could be seen on his arm, as if he had just been bitten by ants.
"Die... Die... Die"
"SAYDA...!"
His mother's voice echoed from the side.
"Why crush that colony of ants? Even the smallest creature clings to life, just like us."
"Huh? B...but this ants bit my hand, it's hurt, so i crushed it. It's just an ant, nothing more.
"How many ant bit you?"
"Ahh... Only one... "
"Then, why did you kill it's whole colony?"
Sayda found himself unable to answer; he turned away, his face clouded with dissatisfaction.
"Killing is not necessarily wrong, Sayda, as long you have a reason. But if you destroy the whole colony just because of one bite... That's not justice. After all, punishing all of them for the act of one ant... it feels inhumane, don't you think?"
Sayda just turned away, pouting to the side. Then her mother fetched a bottle of medicine from a nearby table, pulled Sayda's hand and put the medicine on his arm.
"Aduh..duh..duh... Slowly mom..."
"What, even an ant bite hurts you? Hmm... how are you going to be a man like this?"
"It wasn't an ant bite, but mom pulled my hand too hard"
"Oh, really? Hahahah..."
At the very moment when the barren wind whispered through the forest, Zauran had already fallen dead before Sayda, who remained frozen. All was silent, save for the swirling breath of the wind.
"That's right... As long I have a good reason..."
"I'm only defending myself. If I don't have the ability to kill, then I'll be the one who dies."
"To end everything, someone must be sacrificed... No... This is just a game, isn't it? None of this is real... If I end it, everything will go back to the way it was... right?"
His eyes fell on the knife lying on the ground. He picked it up, staring at the blade before smearing away the blood with his hand. He then looked up at the blue sky, where towering clouds drifted as birds chirped above.
"That's right... None of this is real... This is just a game..."
He took a deep breath, shutting his eyes as he felt the breeze pass over him. Suddenly, his sense detected a sound resembling footsteps approaching him. When he opened his eyes... A leaping wolf with its mouth open agape stood just before him, poised to devour him.
TINGG!!
Instinct took over Sayda. With a swift motion, he deflected the wolf's attack using his knife, forcing its jaws aside. The beast growled, twisting, it's claw raking the ground. Sayda stepped back a little, preparing his steps.
"Damn it... I thought he was an enemy"
Without warning, the wolf jumped again, and with the sound of knife clashing against claw, Sayda was shoved backward by the force of the impact. He then took a deep breath.
"Once more..."
The wolf lunged once more...
"This is it...!"
Seizing the moment, Sayda ducked and swung his knife at the wolf's stomach, slicing a long, crimson line across its fur. The wolf fell, sprawled on the ground, his belly slowly bleeding.
For a brief moment, the forest fell silent, a wind blowing through as if trying to whisper...
"It's over"
After he uttered the word to retain it, his knife slowly disappeared. Sayda stood steadfast in front of the wolf that collapsed on the ground who was moaning in anguish. He glanced at the wolf before attempting to articulate a response.
"Thank... you"
He didn't wait for a second, promptly turning his back. But he paused, hearing the wolf's moan, as if it were pleading for help. His eyes darkened, stunned. Should he help?
"NO..."
He showed no mercy and immediately turned away from the wolf, its howls of pain echoing behind him. He walked further and farther away, until the voice was no longer heard. His eyes fell on the ground.
"No... not anymore"
He continued walking with a guilt feeling until —CRACKKK— he stepped on a branch, and when he looked down, a memory hit him.
"Sayda... what are you doing, let it go"
Sayda, around eleven years old, was hugging his cat on the bed. The cat looked withered, motionless in his tight embrace, while his mother reached out, wanting to take it from his arms. Sayda was sobbing uncontrollably, tears streaming down his face.
"No... Mom, he still wants to play with me..."
"No... Sayda, he's already dead"
"Why must he die? Doesn't he have a life as well?"
He stepped on the branch, and the memory hit him—eleven-year-old Sayda holding his lifeless cat, sobbing. The same helplessness, the same unbearable guilt, surged through him now in the forest. His hands trembled. Life… and death… all in his hands. Suddenly, a gust of wind rushed toward him, striking like a harsh slap. His eyes snapped back, shining in sudden clarity.
"No... NOT ANYMORE"
He dashed toward the place he had abandoned, where the wolf teetered on the edge of death. He drew closer and closer, the glow from that spot growing brighter with each step.
Silent fell where the wolf had been... Could he already...?
"Wait… for me,"
Sayda whispered, his voice trembling as he ran toward the glowing spot.