If you're careless, then you'll die in this endless dream.
That's the rule.
...
Until you have souls.
[ YOUR BODY IS NOT CAPABLE OF HANDLING FIRE ELEMENT LVL.3 ]
[ FIRE ELEMENT HAS BEEN DEDUCED --> LVL.3 - LVL.1 ]
[ A PENALTY WILL BE APPLIED FOR USING A SKILL THAT ISN'T SUITABLE FOR YOU ]
I realized my mistake a bit too late.
Just before the clash of fists—my left flaming fist against the spider's leg—my left arm burst.
BOOM!—SCHLORP!
Blood splattered everywhere.
Splat! Splat!
A lot of blood.
Splat! Splat! Splat!
I fell to my knees, crying in pain.
"ARGHHHH!!! …Fuck… fuck… the blood… The blood isn't stopping…"
I lost another arm.
I had become an expert at losing arms… wow.
This wasn't how it was supposed to happen, was it?
Everything was going perfectly… Then how did it turn out like this?!
I looked at my system screen.
[ YOUR BODY IS NOT CAPABLE OF HANDLING FIRE ELEMENT LVL.3 ]
[ FIRE ELEMENT HAS BEEN DEDUCED --> LVL.3 - LVL.1 ]
[ A PENALTY WILL BE APPLIED FOR USING A SKILL THAT ISN'T SUITABLE FOR YOU ]
Fuck.
How could I forget about this?
I realized something.
I looked up… toward the beast standing in front of me.
I was too late to realize it.
I made another mistake… shifting my focus to my injuries… giving the beast the chance to eliminate me.
THUD!—SHLURP!—SQUIRT!
The spider stabbed its leg into my neck.
"Agh… hhkk—!"
The spider lifted me using its leg.
Fuck… I'll die at this rate.
I was struggling to breathe.
"Ghhk—ghh…!"
So this is how it ends, huh…?
No… no! I won't stop.
I'll use fire ele—
[ YOU'RE RESTRICTED FROM USING FIRE ELEMENT FOR 2 MINUTES ]
I looked at the system screen in shock.
I was afraid… afraid of death.
I… I need to do something.
I continuously started punching the spider's leg… out of panic.
"Ghhk…!"
SPLURT! SMACK!
Blood was spurting from my neck… a lot of blood.
Why…? Why…? Why am I so stupid?!
I kept swinging my legs… hoping to find solid ground to stand on.
…
I couldn't find it.
How could I make a mistake like this? How could I forget that I'd be charged a penalty if I used something beyond my body's capabilities?
Blood started pouring from my mouth… as always… a lot of blood.
My eyes turned red.
I was too careless.
Blood started flowing from my nose… from my eyes…
I swung my legs faster.
"Guh… kkhh…"
A moment later, my legs stopped… my hands stopped.
My mouth hung open… blood kept flowing from it.
I died.
Again.
It was a quick death… but a painful one.
[ YOU HAVE DIED ]
[ DUE TO YOUR CONTINUOUS DEATHS, YOU WILL BE REVIVED IN 10 MINUTES ]
The spider realized its enemy was dead, so it smashed me against a nearby building.
FWOOSH!—SMASH!
I died a brutal death.
[ YOU WILL REMAIN IN THE PRESENCE OF THE VOID FOR 10 MINUTES UNTIL YOU ARE REVIVED ]
My eyes opened.
"...Huh?"
I was in a black void.
I couldn't see anything else.
My body was glowing light yellow… well, it wasn't my body. It was just my soul form. Back then, my soul form was light yellow.
Every part of my body was light yellow.
I closed my eyes.
So I died… which means I'm in my soul form… I have to stay here in the presence of the void… which means this is the Endless Void Chamber, where all the souls gather to be corrupted.
I left my body, which means I'm no longer dreaming. The souls that die in the endless dream are transported here… to the Endless Void Chamber, where they become corrupt and are devoured by the Void.
And I'm one of them.
But I won't be devoured… instead, another soul I collected will be devoured in my place.
I still have a chance of becoming a corrupt soul.
But besides that… my soul form is light yellow, which is the closest to white—the color known as the corrupted form of a soul in the Endless Dream.
It doesn't make sense. White is supposed to symbolize purity.
But in the Endless Dream… it isn't pure at all.
The purer the soul, the more corrupted it is.
That's the most basic rule of the Endless Dream.
Which means I'm so close to becoming corrupted… I'm pure and corrupted at the same time, huh? That's rare.
But… why do I feel so calm about it? Being close to corruption isn't great at all. I should be worried about my future in the Endless Dream.
But I don't feel worried at all…!
Just what is this feeling…?
I don't feel afraid of anything…
Am I becoming corrupt…?
No, there's no need to worry so much. I died… I did a great job surviving so long in the dream, so I'm being rewarded.
That's right…! It feels so great…
I smiled gently while looking at my hands.
"Why was I even afraid of dying? I died, and now I'm in a place where I can feel at ease."
I looked around at the darkness surrounding me.
"There's no need to be afraid of death if we get to be this calm after dying. All my worries… they're gone!"
I closed my eyes and smiled in excitement.
If the afterlife is supposed to be this calm, then there's no need to fear death! Yes, death is the best!
…
Fuck it.
It's not possible.
You can't possess me.
You can't make me corrupt by making me possessed.
I looked down.
I should regret dying so early… leaving my companions alone in the Endless Dream to die by themselves.
But I don't feel regret.
Memories of being a writer hit me.
Why don't I regret my decisions?
Why do I think ruining the Endless Dream was a good idea?
I didn't feel this before… then why now?
All of this is my mistake… I killed my characters without mercy…
I blamed myself all the time, and now… I feel good? I feel good for killing them?
Fuck it! Shut it!
I never, ever felt good about killing my characters. Then why do I feel good now?
I'm a stupid bastard who always regretted his decisions. But now, all of a sudden… I feel good about them?
Images of Lee Seonyeon and Han Chaeyoung flashed through my mind.
I left them alone… all by themselves… and I don't regret it?
Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?
Tears burst from my eyes.
If… if… if I never left them alone… then… then I would have been with them instead of fighting against Skill Plagiarist… souls… and now this void…
The real obstacle is me.
If I want to save others, then I need to do something I can't do… something I would never think of… something that even I, the author of this novel, would never imagine.
I need to do something beyond my own thoughts to save those destined to die.
So why is this afterlife so calm?
It's calm because I'm the one who wrote it to be calm.
Can the afterlife really be this peaceful?
Of course not.
Was my life this peaceful?
Of course not.
Do I deserve this much peace in life or in death?
In life.
Then I need to create peace in my life, right?
Right.
…
"Hahahahaha… HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! HAHAHAHAHA!!"
I was laughing.
Laughing desperately.
I looked into the darkness with wide eyes.
"FUCK IT!! IT CAN'T BE THIS PEACEFUL!! THIS ISN'T THE AFTERLIFE I WANTED… THIS ISN'T PEACEFUL!! I LEFT EVERYONE BEHIND AND GOT… CALMNESS!? SHUT IT!"
I looked down.
"Life… life is supposed to be calm… the afterlife isn't supposed to be calm. The peace we long for our entire lives needs to be found in the life we are living…"
"Not in the afterlife…"
I wiped my tears and glared into the darkness.
"If there's no peace in our lives… then I'll create it!!"
"I'll create a peaceful life, even if I have to sacrifice myself for the peace of others…"
"…I won't hesitate to kill you to create peace for my companions!!"
I took a deep breath.
"I hope you heard me clearly…"
"The Void."
***
My past isn't like the past of a main character in fantasy novels.
I wasn't bullied, had good parents, had good friends, and moreover, I had a girlfriend.
See… it's not like the tragic past of a main character in a fantasy novel… it's a happy past until…
I made that mistake.
A mistake that I don't want to recall.
A mistake that makes me question my existence.
A mistake that makes me regret my decisions.
A mistake that I wish I never made.
...
A mistake of writing novels.
***
[ YOU HAVE KILLED 89/100 HUMANS ]
[ TIME REMAINING - 03:45:23 ]
She kept walking straight in a direction while hiding her face with her white and black cloak.
It was a beautiful cloak with beautiful designs on it.
She thought… Only 11 people remain… But it's getting harder to find people now since everyone has started hiding.
Maybe they have heard about me.
Hisss! Hisssss!
She stopped moving. This voice came from behind.
A spider...? Wait, it's a big one.
She looked back at the spider… it was the spider I fought against before. A spider… huh… it doesn't count as a human, but…
She smirked.
Fwoosh! Shing!
A dagger teleported into her right hand.
She made the attacking stance with the dagger.
"How about I test this dagger against this insect…"
***
My eyes were open. I was still. I was standing. I was lost in my thoughts.
Thoughts of my pa… Thoughts of recalling the mi… Thoughts of sitting al… Thoughts of my girlfriend ch… Thoughts of my parents ab… Thoughts of my friends t…
I was rethinking my whole life.
...
Or in other words, someone was making me recall my past.
That someone can be none other than...
The Void.
Sometimes… filled with thoughts. Sometimes… filled with emptiness.
"Hong, climb faster! We're waiting for you!"
"Hong, faster."
"You can do it, Hong!"
"I can't do it! My hands hurt."
"Bwah, Hong, come on!"
A memory hit me… where I went mountain climbing with my friends. I almost fell off the mountain back then.
I was looking at my past… at my child form.
Looking at his friends… with joy… with happiness that they were with him.
I wish it could have stayed like this forever…
This memory started fading away...
I was still… not knowing what would come next.
Splash!
I then found myself underwater… Drowning in it.
Blub…blub…
My eyes were completely dead… I wasn't paying attention to the water…
I drowned… more… more… More…
Blub…blub…
Who am I? What's my purpose? How did I end up like this? Wasn't I in the presence of the Void?
Just what in the world happened there?
The darkness crept more and more as I drowned into the deepness of the ocean.
Blub…blub…
Until I couldn't see anything…
...
What's happening? Will this continue forever? Is this the work of The Void? Was he able to control memories?
Did I create a monster who can use our memories to corrupt us?
Just how can I be this stupid?
[ YOUR SOUL WILL BECOME CORRUPT AT THIS RATE ]
Can't do anything… huh?
In the blink of an eye… I was standing in the darkness. I looked down.
Can't see.
I looked right.
Can't see.
I looked left.
Can't see.
I looked straight.
Can't see.
I looked up.
Can't see.
...
Can't see… Can't see… Can't see… Can't see…
I don't even know if I'm facing straight… down… left… right… up… or whatever.
I want to see the light.
I want… I want… I want…
Light… In my life.
Can you provide that light?
The Void.
Of course not… you can't do that.
I was lying in the waste scattered around and a dustbin was lying on me.
You can't, right? Hey! Answer me! You can't! I'm telling you… you can't do that!! Right?
The Void.
I was 14 back then… I was going home… some… Some high school kids showed up in front of me.
Asking me for money.
To take their girlfriends to the motel.
...
This is the worst memory that I want to forget… I tried to get it out of my brain multiple times… But it always comes back…
Can a past like this actually be forgotten?
Of course not.
...
I told them that I didn't have money. They got angry…
They… grabbed my shirt's collar and forcefully dragged me into a narrow alley.
I remember them saying "Hey!" "Don't mess with us" "You'll regret it," words like these.
I only remember this memory in fragments, so why am I seeing this?
... They punched me… kicked me… made me eat a burger that was rotting in the dustbin… dragged my face into the dustbin… Into the gutter…
I was screaming the whole time…
"STOP" "PLEASE STOP" "I'M SORRY" "I WON'T MESS WITH YOU" "I REALLY DON'T HAVE MONEY" "DON'T DO THIS" "DON'T MAKE MY CLOTHES DIRTY… MY MOM IS SICK" "PLEASE" "please…"
Stop, please…
Let me go… to my mom…
My eyes widened.
That's right… my mom was sick! I was going to see her… I was on my way to the hospital…
I was beaten up mercilessly…
They threw me in the garbage… then threw the whole trash can on me…
I was crying in pain… a lot of pain.
They took some photos of me… maybe they made memes of it or circulated them throughout their friend groups…
This was the first time when I was bullied.
My clothes were torn… Garbage was sticking to my body… my face… several injuries…
I looked like a beggar.
I was looking at my memory… Desperately.
Hmm. My past started worsening from here.
I got up… and started walking towards Han River.
Han River was close, so I decided to wash myself before going to see my mother.
I was struggling to walk… the pain in my legs increased with each step.
Tears were dropping from my memory self.
...
A tear dropped from my eye… I was crying because I saw my struggle in the past…
You suffered a lot, didn't you? Kang Hong.
I did.
You had every reason to turn evil… Then why didn't you turn evil?
What are you talking about?
I looked at myself who was questioning me.
I turned evil, didn't I? Wasn't killing my characters evil?
My other self, which was questioning me, smirked.
You really are a psychopath.
I focused my eyes on the memory of myself.
I washed myself and got up.
"Time to see Mom!"
There was a strange smile on my face. Maybe it was because I was visiting my mom.
I was crying the whole time due to the pain but now I was feeling happy because I was going to meet my mom.
I wish she ne—
I walked in pain… towards the hospital. The pain I was feeling was visible on my face… a lot of pain.
Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Why am I remembering these things now?
I can't… I can't bear watching a kid struggling so much just to… meet his mom.
What am I talking about? It's me when I was 14. It's me who was struggling.
The kid reached the hospital… Hospital room.
He opened the door… I was standing right behind him…
My heart was beating fast… because I was meeting my mom…
It's been so long since I saw her.
The door opened.
"Ah… Hong, were you in a fight again?"
This voice.
Tears started dropping from my eyes as I heard the voice of my mom after a long time.
It's been 6 years… it's been 6 years since I heard your voice… Mom.
My 14-year-old self ran towards my mom and hugged her. "It's not like that! They started beating me out of nowhere.."
My 14-year-old self started crying.
"I.. I."
I hugged my mom harder.
"I... Missed you so much.. Mom.. Don't leave me.. Don't leave me. Don't leave me... Mom.. I can't live without you.. Don't leave me alone.. mom.. it's scary without you."
My mom collapsed while I was on a trip organized by my school.
I couldn't come back then, but 5 days later, I rushed towards the hospital.
I really missed her.
My mom caressed my head.
"Don't worry, Hong. You are my little guardian.. nothing would happen to me until I've you. I won't leave you.. Hong."
I was a total mommy's boy back then.
"I.. I told you to stop treating me like a kid. I've grown up."
"Ara.. then why was my crybaby crying so much right now?"
"That was because I was worried about you, Mom!"
"Hahaaha.. yeah yeah."
I wish it could stay like this forever.
"Now then we'll re—"
[ Enjoying your little memory? How about you do what you were screaming about? ]
A presence of a higher being.