The air between them felt thick, weighted by the implications of what had just been said.
Could they ever be something again?
The question echoed in her head, looping over and over as if her brain was afraid of letting it settle. She glanced up at Jasmine, whose fingers fidgeted idly with the hem of her sleeve. Her nails were painted a deep burgundy—neat, glossy, and well-kept. Cameron remembered a time when Jasmine bit her nails raw, when she'd pick at the skin around them until she bled. It was a small change, but one that told her just how much Jasmine had worked to rebuild herself.
And that made the weight of this moment even heavier.
Cameron exhaled sharply, looking away. She tapped her fingers against her knee, trying to steady herself before speaking.
"I haven't been with anyone else since we broke up," she admitted, her voice quiet but firm. "I... I couldn't move on."
She expected Jasmine to look relieved or pleased, but her expression remained unreadable. Her eyes, though, softened just slightly. Cameron wasn't sure if it was pity or understanding, but either way, it made her stomach twist.
"I thought I should," Cameron continued, rubbing her thumb against the side of her palm. "There were moments I told myself I was ready. That I could start fresh, be different, try to care about someone new the way I cared about you." She laughed humorlessly, shaking her head. "But I never even got close. The second I tried, it felt like lying. Like I was pretending to be someone I wasn't."
Jasmine shifted slightly. "Cameron..."
Cameron held up a hand, cutting her off before she could say anything. "Let me finish."
She looked at her hands, suddenly feeling small despite everything she had worked through. Despite everything they had both worked through. "I know what I felt for you was real. It wasn't just obsession, or codependency, or the addiction of having something to hold onto. It was love. Even in its messiest, ugliest forms, I loved you. And I still do."
She could hear Jasmine's breath catch, but she didn't look up yet. She wasn't done.
"But that love scares me," Cameron admitted, voice barely above a whisper now. "Not because I don't want it, but because I don't want to ruin it again. I don't want to fall into old habits, to be so desperate to keep you that I end up suffocating us both. I've worked so hard to be okay on my own, and you've worked just as hard to become the person you want to be. What if we mess that up?"
Finally, she met Jasmine's gaze. There was something in her eyes—something fragile but steady, like she understood exactly what Cameron was afraid of because she was afraid of it too.
"We won't," Jasmine said, the quiet confidence in her tone making Cameron's chest tighten. "I know that's easy to say, but I believe it. I don't want to repeat what we were before, either. But I do want you, Cameron."
Cameron swallowed hard, feeling the lump in her throat swell.
"You still scare me," she admitted. "Not in a bad way. Just... I don't know how to do this without getting lost in you again."
Jasmine reached over, hesitating for only a second before resting her hand over Cameron's. It was warm, grounding. "Then let's not rush it," she suggested gently. "Let's keep taking it one step at a time. If it ever feels like too much, we pause. We communicate. We don't let the fear of the past dictate our future."
Cameron let out a shaky breath, her fingers instinctively curling around Jasmine's. It was such a simple touch, but it sent a warmth through her she hadn't felt in years.
She nodded slowly, a small, tired smile tugging at the corners of her lips. "Okay," she whispered. "One step at a time."