A silver knife scraped against the gold-plated porcelain dish. The silver-head, Arkin, winced at the grating sound and the sharp glare Leianna threw him. "Sorry," he says. It was by accident that he scraped the sharp steak knife on the plate, however, the suspicious glare he gave Duke Fremont who sat before him was no accident.
Aina didn't notice the suspicion in her brother's eyes as he glanced at Lorian — well — it was like she would have cared less about her surroundings. Her eyes were set on the plate before her, absentminded in the way she sliced the steak slowly.
And though it wasn't a graceful action for such a Lady, no one dared say anything.
"It was a pleasure of you to join us, Lorian" Duke Evrian stated, nodding his head in gratitude for accepting his favor of retrieving her daughter.
"It is no such trouble, father-in-law" his signature smile crosses his lips, showcasing his perfectly polished teeth. "I quite enjoy the company of my fiancee" of course, he would taunt me again.
"I am glad that you two seem to be getting along well" her father's tone was relieved, and Aina was glad that she couldn't see the expression on the Duke's face.
She tries to mute the world around her, to silence the voices speaking, her eyes blur in vacancy, and she feels emptiness in her chest as she keeps her eyes down on her plate. Her clouded eyes resembled a dead person's.
Aina felt a shadow of an ache that vibrated against her chest. She instinctively reached for it, rubbing soothing circles that did nothing to erase the mild pain.
"...the upcoming Winter Ball in the Capital" when she came to, it was to these words spoken by her father. Aina finally turns her gaze from the plate to meet her father's gaze who was coincidentally staring at her as well.
"Ciana, are you feeling alright?" Her father has an expression that she recognizes to be worry. For her. Though unfamiliar, she finds herself unable to shun from it.
"...May I be excused early, Father?" she requests in a meek voice, but the silence from the table as they shift their attention to her gives her tone resonance.
"You must be tired from walking around. You may go and rest, then." He says, nodding his head slowly. Aina avoids the gazes from her brothers, but gives a small nod to Leianna. She ignores Lorian completely.
She leaves the dining hall with her maid, Allie. She feels the stare of Thomas across her back, but she finds that she couldn't even muster a fake smile to reassure the old man. And as she walks down the warmly lit halls of the manor, her mind wanders once more to the fate that awaits her the moment she'd be alone.
Her steps were heavy against the marbled floors of the manor, the carved walls became suffocating and she suddenly found herself bating her breath. She feels alone, so alone in the misery and the reality that pulls her under the surface — the pressure of it all is too heavy and burdensome. Aina sees her reflection on the large mirror of the East Wing, just before she meets the double doors of her room. Rather than seeing her face, she was overcome by fear and anxiety when the gaunt face of her dying mother overlapped over hers. She couldn't see herself anymore, only death.
"My Lady…" Allie calls to her, concern dripping from her voice the moment the doors of her room closes.
"I'll change by myself, Allie." The maid nods obediently, taking it as a sign that Aina wanted to be alone.
The darkness of her room envelops her. She sits on the side of her bed, staring at the large arching windows, beyond the bare shadowy trees that bends against the howling winter wind. The shadows of the bare trees cross her face, marking her cheeks and forehead with dark tendrils that seem alien to those who might witness it. The arch of the windows reminded her of the arches in a birdcage. So much so that she wonders if she was a caged bird, meant to be free but unable to spread her wings. So many things have shackled her to the ground — her engagement, and her sickness.
Aina feels the cold wetness on her cheeks, and the warmth from her eyes as her brows cross together. She glares at nothing and at everything. The weight of her situation is breaking her apart, tearing her to shreds until there is nothing left. Suddenly, she stands, grabbing the first thing she sees and throws it against the tall arched windows that seem to mock her entrapment. That she can't do anything to escape — both her engagement, and her fate. She groans as she walks swiftly to her vanity, throwing all the makeup and jewelry on the carved mirror, shattering her reflection to pieces. Feeling unsatisfied, she grabs a vase and throws it on the floor. The shattering sound battles with the roar of the wind outside the manor. She grabs the chair in the small tea area of her room, and pushes it against a wall.
More.
More.
She wanted to destroy more.
She grabs the glass table, and throws another chair over it, destroying the stained glass that depicted the lilac flowers. She screams and throws everything she could get her hands on, while furious tears run down her cheeks.
The doors to her room open without warning. Shedding light from the hallway of the East Wing reveals the wide-eyed silhouette of her older brother, Arkin. What a sight she must have been, breathing heavily as she grasps a broken shard from a vase tightly in her hand. Her hair disheveled and a crazed look in her eyes while surrounded by the shattered mess of her room.
A few seconds later did she notice that he was holding a basket of fruits in his hand.
"Ciana…what happened?" Arkin doesn't seem to know how to proceed with what he has witnessed. He carefully observes his sister, noticing the tear-streaked face, and blood dripping from the palm of her left hand.
"Your hand!" His voice rises, but Aina couldn't find it in herself to be afraid.
Instead, her thoughts are filled with returning memories of her time with her brother, Arkin. The boyish grins from a younger version of her elder brother fills her mind, all of which seem to be directed to her. She couldn't doubt the visions she was seeing. Aina remembers the words of Leianna. That a huge part of her memories had been swept by trauma. Aina stares at her shocked brother carefully. Instead of fear, she feels an overwhelming warmth filling her chest.
"Ciana, I'll always protect you. I'm your big brother," the words echoed in her mind as she recalled a lost memory that has now returned to her. An act of mercy from God? Who's to say, but Aina is so tired of feeling afraid. She couldn't bear to feel fear for another second longer.
She takes a step forward, tears forming in her eyes. "Brother Arkin…" her voice wavers as she calls, reaching forward to her brother. Her brother. She doesn't see how he freezes when she wraps her arms around his torso, her forehead bumping against his chest. She should be afraid, she should be. But when huge arms carefully wrap around her, gentle and unsure, but warm and caring all the same, she realizes it.
What was I so afraid of?
"It hurts…" she says, like a child who fell and scraped her knee.
"What hurts? Who dares to hurt our youngest, huh?" Aina hears the cracking of his voice and knows how shocking it must be for her to initiate this kind of touch. And how shocking it was to experience it herself. That she could ever allow a man to touch her, much less for her to do it first.
But how could I ever be afraid of her own brother?
Aina lets her tears flow freely in the presence of her much larger brother. The huge, military build of his body erases any fear that she could've had. She feels Arkin run a calloused hand down her hair, checking over her for any injuries other than her bleeding hand.
"Ciana, we have to treat your hand, it's bleeding" Arkin separates himself from her, placing his hands on her shoulders as he did so. Carefully, he wraps an arm around her shoulder as he props her upright. Aina was still crying as she did so, and he gently guides her out of her room to the halls.
"We need to find a medic. Maids! Maids!" He shouts, and not even a few minutes later, a maid she doesn't recognize makes herself seen. Not even phased by the blood dripping from her hands and marring her dress, she nods her head obediently as the second eldest master barks orders for the medic's presence as soon as possible.
"First, sit down for a moment" Aina looks around to see that she was led to the private family room of the manor. She slowly sat down and Arkin knelt before her.
"May I?" Aina purses her lips to prevent more tears from escaping her eyes. Even now, he still asks for permission to touch me. The incident that happened from when she was young scarred not just her, but also her family.
She doesn't respond, but offers her palm instead as her head hangs low. She couldn't look at the warm violets that swam in the eyes of her brother. Arkin takes her hand, examining every inch of the bleeding gash that ran down her palm.
"It looks deep, but I don't think it'll need stitches," he says. "And there are remains of the glass on the wound itself. What on earth happened, Ciana?" Arkin moves down to meet the direction of her eyes.
"...I don't know. I-I was just so angry, and…" she trails off, unable to explain herself further. Aina unconsciously pulls her injured hand, and flinches when the pain hits her like electricity.
"Careful!" Arkin cups her hand gently, avoiding the bleeding gash with care as he does so. He looks so gentle, so contrasting to his muscled and huge appearance that Aina's chest tightens at the sight of him looking so defeated.
"Brother…" she calls again, making him flinch at the word.
"I thought…I never thought I would hear you call me that ever again…" he starts, his eyes turning glassy as his tears start staining them. "Do you—do you remember? Everything?" He asked, his soft voice cracking at the weight of the question.
"I remember—but not everything, yet. Just you." She says.
Arkin smiles, Aina could almost compare him to a large golden retriever. It's a smile so dazzlingly bright. The relief in his eyes made the violets in them bloom. There was so much joy at his expression that Aina had to lower her gaze to avoid being blinded by its light.
Who knew he would be so happy by my memories of him returning? Though, if she were to say anything, it would be that her Elder Brother Arkin had always been the same. Never changing.
Since they were young.
.
.
.